Life

life is a roller coaster, just got to ride it - ronan keating

just this morning, i came back home feeling happy and proud of myself for completing my first half marathon. though the plan was to spend the afternoon resting, i ended up answering calls from almost all aunties and uncles asking mum's whereabout. i myself didn't know 'cos she lost her charger during the wedding and her phone battery was flat. after almost 2hrs of this drama, feeling a little annoyed - and hungry - i dragged myself out to get some food and at the same time to buy a new charger for mum. mum called on my way up asking my whereabouts. the minute i came inside the house she asked me to get dressed as i am supposed to accompany her to go to my uncle's before heading down to see a man who is good in alternative medicine. both my uncle and auntie are now able to sit down for prayer, no longer in need of chair, hence mum's eagerness to try the solution.

once we're there the man took a look at me and said "may i know what's your name, girl?" i was like "huh? why am i in the picture?" apparently he is blessed with a gift of *seeing* things. honestly i don't believe in such things. but after asking my name and telling me about myself - no prediction whatsoever anyway since he's not a fortune telling - he gave loads of good advise. first and foremost he said that he saw me as someone with a strong character, someone who can achieve whatever i aim for but somehow i didn't try it the right way. i was really hit to the core when he continued by saying "girl, try not to miss your morning prayer". THAT is one prayer i miss mostly. when i answered "when the time comes it comes" to one particular subject he advised me again that i too need to work on that and even asking from God has its own way. an advise given by my uni friend and high school friend as well. loads of good advice that i ended up trying hard not to drop a single tears. he told me not to miss the opportunity in both life and career 'cos he can *see* a great gift bestowed upon me from God - what gift, he doesn't know. it feels like the big guy up there is not giving up on me, He is reminding me through this *wise* man. he ended the advise with "and girl, try to lose some weight as well". LOL.

went home feeling warm and spent the night chatting with a friend. was talking about my feelings on a particular subject when my sister called informing the death of my aunt, dad's only sister. i feel so sad because this auntie of mine is one that is very protective of us, very caring and loving. what a bless to die on the eve of ied' adha. both me and mum thought of going home but we were informed that the body will be flown back to surabaya where she will be put to rest next to her husband. i can only pray from afar, wishing you a blessful journey in meeting our creator, fibi.

i can't help but feel life is indeed a roller coaster - you can start your day feeling happy only to end it with sadness. treasure what you have. live every minute responsibly...

Bad Grammar But ...

i think this is the only malay song that i like, sang by the 1st singapore idol.
not bad, eh ...

My Normal Saturday ...

i kinda miss the day when i left the house to grab a lunch at java kitchen @vivo city. after which, i'd take the monorail to sentosa and played vb for few hours, grabbed a quick shower and had dinner together before going home. i missed the fun of just sitting at the side of the court watching the game or joining in the game trying my best to hit the ball *though i tend to dodge it or simply shouted "not mine" when the ball came my way*. i missed chit chatting with the others while the two doggies tried to push their way in between us and i moved several times just so that their nose didn't touch me. i miss thinking how darker i'd be under those scorching sun.

so today, i decided to switch off my machine and do what i used to do. and i love it. though my game is back to being suck *but hey, i saved the ball once!*, though i was thought a newbie because there's sooo many newbies *to me at least* there, though i didn't stay until the end and had dinner together, i had a lovely time. not to mention one of the newbie there looks like matt damon *well, the eyes and the smile to me even when the rest said "NO"*.

it's good to be back...

Heart Matters

sometimes you take things for granted and you only realised that when it's gone.
i really should've follow my heart ...
nevermind, lesson learnt.

Wishful Thinking

i wish things will get back to the way they normally are. i miss the laughter, the stories, the sillyness, the sharings, everything!! i wonder how long does it take though i feel that things will never go back to normal again. a breather is what all needs before things get back to normal, but then ... so much for the thought of making things normal.

i can't stop wondering have i really opened a pandora box?

Not My Kind

but the thought that counts ...........

i met her during my almamater's reunion last year. we managed to stay in touch through the indonesian community's mailing list. though she's married and i have a *life* of my own, we tried to meet up as and when we can. i do have to give her loads of credit for never giving up on suggesting dinner or just a mere catching up. and earlier today, we met for awhile as i have a tennis game to catch *though we ended up playing for 10mins and went home afterwards*. chat over lunch she gave me this little pressie made by her own hands. isn't it so sweet of her? it's not my kinda ring but still, i was touched and a little embarassed for not making a better effort in catching up.

The Verdict

my boss is no longer my boss. one person resigned due to pride being under her. the CIO said few of us should be moving to area role instead of sticking in country. what role? who's my boss? how is the people management gonna be now that my *future* boss might not be in SG? IT should be happy now that my boss is the country lead. we on the other hand can only look at the new structure chart playing the guessing game

I Want to Break Free

wouldn't it be great if i can just switch everything off for awhile ?

or maybe even for a long time ...

History

history will never repeat itself

- not when you forbid it

- not when you learnt from the past and do things differently from there onwards

- not when you're in charge of yourself

fool me once .. shame on you

fool me twice .. shame on me!!!

Choices

two people - however close they are - can (or maybe even will always?) have totally opposite views on life. one who doesn't really know what (s)he want will never feel satisfied. when you only know what you don't want in life, you'll end up searching for more even when you don't really know what is that you're searching for. while one who face life reastically might end up compromising the situation (s)he faced. watch this movie, and you'll get what i mean.
life is after all full of choices. either you accept it or not. either you stay commited to what you decide or keep on changing your mind. nothing's perfect anyway. be happy and contented with what you have - that's the key. but then again, isn't life more excited with some adventure in it? makes me wonder ....

pic. courtesy of imdb.com
as for you my friend - hope you had a good time. yes i broke my promise on just being a listener. i talked. hey, i can't help it. i made you laugh anyway :). really hope you get your issues settled fast ...

Youth Without Youth

one word: confusing. an old man who - after struck by a lightning - is given a chance to do things he always dream of doing/achieving. when everything is perfect - is it too good to be true? how can you differentiate dreams and reality? you can be analysing your dreams in your dreams. will you do things differently the 2nd time? will you sacrifice your love one just to get things right now that you're given another chance to do so? complicated lah - at least for me. still as complicated as i think it is, i find the whole plot makes it a very interesting movie to watch.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

The Day I Chucked A Sickie

exactly a week ago, i celebrated Hari Raya. a belated wish, but, Have a Blessed Hari Raya to all celebrating. after a month of fasting, controlling hunger *easy*, emotion *hard!!* and all, we finally got another chance to start anew, start afresh. i personally think my ramadhan this year is better compared to last year's. now the tough part is on mantaining and improving it.

anyways ....

i went home for a week to celebrate it with my family. spent most of my time with my nieces and nephew. did the visiting. munching non stop which resulted in me not feeling 100% great now. met few uni friends for a break fast session. all in all - i enjoyed my trip home. my eldest niece is so adorable that i spent most of my time with her compared to my nephew and the youngest niece. maybe because being 2yrs old, she's at her peak of *cuteness*. though i have to say i had enough of nemo, kungfu panda, and alvin&the chipmunks. its fun watching alvin with my youngest niece around as well, we're all presented with a funny kiddy dance moves. it's fun to have those kids around. the house seems empty when they're out and about. i munched a lot as well that resulted in me having sore throat now.

yeah, the minute i reached singapore i started sneezing non-stop. i didn't sleep the 1st night after i was back, only slept like 4hrs the following night and last night, i remembered switching my machine at 4.10am and trying hard to get some sleep. my flu is getting worst that i finally went to see a doctor today. she gave me few medications and asked if i'd like to go home and rest. i said that i'm fine, she then advised me to sleep more. that was when i told her about my sleepless night. she prescribed a mild sleeping pill for me (only 2 pills) and insisted on me going home and rest. so i went to funan to get myself the 3-in-1 scanner and an external harddisk before going home. and i'm glad i did that. with no medication to be taken in the afternoon, i'm pretty fit to play with my new toys soon.

H is for Hectic Happy & Hooray

i had a hectic day at work today. i don't know but things that can go wrong went wrong everytime i'm going on long leave. i got a call when i was home, i got a call when i was about to climb the harbour bridge, i got a call when i was on a short trip across the island that i ended up bring my machine with me whenever i went home. but it all stopped few years ago with the system globalisation, hence no longer unix and stuff for moi. until today. i broke down three times mostly due to the panic i created myself.

started the day feeling a little disappointed when my 1/2 day leave was not granted. hp is also on long leave, hence i can understand my boss' reason. "you are important here". "sorry, i don't buy that anymore" was my answer which i'm sure surprised her. then came the problems. firstly it was our very own datafeed which was doubled for one of the period. this never happened before and it happened - of all the day - today. i was busy checking the caused of this when an email from our malaysia counterpart arrived requesting a complete set of data from the previous financial year. and i just archived the dB and moved it to the tape few days ago. just when i was in the middle of replying to the email to inform them the time needed to retrieve the data etc another email came stating the deadline is Oct 2nd. no way out, i have to do it now. well to be honest with hp on leave i have doubt with the other backup the minute she asked me how to restore dB in ms sql server. with only few hours left i ended up giving them structure text instead of xml - at least i gave them. i went back to investigating the data and decided to do a select distinct to fix the duplicate record issue. done with that i went back to doing my own personal development plan which is due end of this month. boss called asking me to check the email she just sent, an email that *complete* my day. another email from malaysia and this time around advising us that uploading to the central server can no longer be done from our local server but through malaysia's. all changes must be done by - t.o.m.o.r.r.o.w. crazy!! we tried calling them, sametime-ing them without avail. i was in the midst of listing down things we upload to global when again my boss came saying the duplicate record issue ended up with lesser records for other period. man! i need to leave early and all these happened. my backup? she was squatting next to me writing what she's supposed to check for hr application. i felt like screaming but i knew there wasn't any point there. finance called complaining about this new info because tomorrow is our month-end closing. boss asked me to come tomorrow i said no and she said she'd called me tonight if need be, to which i said i'd be switching my mobile. she knew then i wasn't in my best of mood since i never ever said that kinda words to her. she came to me afterwards saying the duplicate data can wait until i come back *too late for that* and that i don't stay late *yeah, right*. anyways, to cut my bitching short - i managed to settled the duplicate records, emailed malaysia asking details on things and advising my backup to do it manually until i return. i hope she can do it.

thanks to a friend who accompanied me clearing my head by walking down to orchard. i had a nice night to ease my tense and i can said i ended the day happily. though i complained about work here i know myself better - if i leave things unfixed i will never have a good night sleep feeling guilty. reaching my place, i took the lift closer to the guinea pigs to check on them. the lady was feeding them so i stopped and had a chat with her about the cuties. she told me that they belong to her friend who went overseas for study. she took it under her care and somehow *someone* complained to spca saying she's cruel to the animals (i didn't say that, eh). but, she said, at least now she always remember to feed them the minute she reaches home. a kind hearted woman, i felt a little bit guilty for telling on her but i had to do my part for the animals. at least she took it seriously now.

alrighty, enough talking. gotta start packing and paying my bills before leaving tomorrow. with the flight so early in the morning, i'll try hard not to sleep so that i don't miss the flight.

Exception

i know i promised myself to treasure life and never complain about anything anymore but today i will break that promise and i don't care!

my day started bad when, trying to reach office before 9am, i took a cab only to get stuck in a crazy traffic thanks to F1. seriously, i don't think singapore is ready to organise that event. it's just funny to close cbd area for that. most taxi drivers i met expressed their frustration as well. in their words "you see, block there block here and erp still on who want to go in and collect passenger" - i can't agree more. due to the congested traffic and waiting for the cab to drop me at the lobby might ended up with me reaching office at 9.30ish am, i decided to alight when the traffic light was red and brace the heavy downpour. i ended up at my desk around 9.05am only to be called to my boss' room. there we discussed about some duplicate data which has yet to be identified if it's the central issue or our local issue. i was sooo darn close to bursting when somehow the checking is now my job. wth!! a month ago during discussion, we agreed that i'd write a macro in excel for the operators so that they can start the day checking the number of count; somehow its now mine. i know my boss is worried that with the new structure operators will be deployed to other department and we'll be solely handling technology. and i think her asking me to do this now is her way of not getting this job hanging when the new structure takes place. oh well, alright i'll do it now. but she gave me an idea to add something more on my expectation with the new structure - to be involved in managerial process instead of operational

process! hah ..

on a totally different and lighter note - SPCA called me yesterday asking if i noticed any improvement on the guinea pigs. i updated them on what i saw the night after i made the call. apparently they didn't meet the people staying there so they left a letter by their front door, hence our assumption the action was taken because of the warning letter. i was now given a job to monitor the living condition of those guinea pigs and call him directly if there's something concerning me. haha, alrighty mister!

ahhh ... now i feel lighter. okay i'll go back to my promise of trying not to complain much and focus more on the small little things that make life wonderful. starting now!

Sleepy

quite a funny movie. at first i thought it'd be another mbfw kinda movie, but it isn't. well, usual story line - boy meets girl, girl meets boy - with expected ending but its just fun to watch how the story goes. well yes, there are loads of lewd jokes along the line, but if you really want something light to crack you up, go watch it. the eyebrows scene is priceless. and i find myself enjoying dane cook more and more these days.

i was lucky to get a seat and catched the broadway version few years back. i love it to bits that when they made it into big screen i began wondering if it would be as good as the broadway. and meryl streep in a musical movie? i had my doubts. all those were washed away when i watched the movie. all i can say is AWESOME performance of meryl, she definitely proofs herself as one great actors. actually each and every one of the actors did a great job. they sang well though it's a little bit painful to hear pierce brosnan's voice. the dancing by the beach scene really reminds me of a bollywood movie too. i enjoyed the movie a lot that i felt like clapping my hands *which, of course i didn't do* during the credit roles . and don't get me to colin firth .. seeing him swaying - and i mean really swaying - his hips is priceless. a movie worth mamma mia-ing on. both pic. courtesy of imdb.com

HAPPY

yes i am.

after days of thinking of my neigbour's hamsters i ended up calling SPCA, not filing a report but more like asking their advice. eversince i realised there are hamsters at the corridor i make an effort to stop by whenever i pass that side just to say my hello to those little creatures. until last week i realised their paper hasn't been changed and their cute little voice calling me when i left might be a call for help. and yesterday when i stopped by again only to see one of them was totally dirty i couldn't take it anymore, not when the image of them looking at me with a sad eyes kept on flashing before me whenever i closed my eyes.

so after telling the staff the whole situation they assured me that they'll drop by to check for themselves. and tonight, after feeling happy simply from looking at all those deepavali and hari raya lights i was given another pleasant treat - the cuties were busy getting under the fresh newspaper, supposedly getting ready for bed. night night cuties.

One For The French

you will think its a pretty boring movie, just sit down and relax, i assure you you'll end up saying its a good if not brilliant movie. i was kept at the edge of my seat until almost the ending. it was shocking, if i say so myself. you'd be wondering at first when will the secret be revealed, and once it's out you're in for a surprise. seriously, ask the lady in front of me :)young virginia ledoyen really looks like natalie portman, btw.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

The Missing Piece

totally forgotten about watching this movie over the weekend. somehow it just crossed my mind now.

well, what made me keen in watching this movie is the lead actor. so yeah, i finally found it online. nothing special - typical action movie. but it gets interesting almost at the end of it thought. there is *what else but* a twist. i still can't see james mcAvoy in an action movie though, he's more suitable for historical drama or romance movie. darn even his screaming isn't meant for action genre.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

Two More for the Weekend

i've been hearing a lot of raves on this movie and after watching it myself, i understand why. very good story line, it hits right to the core of what's happenning in the society out there. though the movie talked about racism between the white american and black american, i believe the message also applies to all other sort of racism - gender, color, religion, everthing. great performance by edward norton as well. to be honest i don't think i ever pay attention to any of his movie so seeing him here kinda make me realised he's one of the good actor out there. though it has quite a surprising ending, i love the quote at the end of the movie - we're all friends not enemies.

all rise for an outstanding performance of christian bale in this movie. i knew he lost loads of weight to get into character in this movie but it's still made me feel kinda scary seeing how skinny he was in that movie. a dedicated actor indeed. story wise, interesting and it just build my curiosity 'cos you *at least i* wouldn't have guess what's really happenning up 'til the end of the movie. the sound effect just added to the anticipation. i agree that guilty - if not faced - will only bring sufferring. worth watching!

alrighty, i'm totally movie overloaded this weekend.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

C B D

i finally watched the movie. was quite gutted when i missed it in the cinema so it was such a blessed to find it online. well yeah, christian bale is what made me keen to watch it. story wise, its good. a cowboy movie - an action genre - which portrays love, family value, and inner battle. how one person would go to the extra mile in order to fulfill the need of his/her family even it that means sacrificing themselves. a nice movie that is worth watching.

i was supposed to be heading down to vb but after much contemplation i decided to stay put and wait for evening to come before going to my late uncle's. no point rushing to vb only to rush back to hougang, eh. especially when i found another movie to watch ;)

it was definitely one great movie - disturbing in a great way that is. again he gave an absolutely WONDERFUL performance as an instable yuppy, a psycho. there were times where i even flinched in anticipation of what's coming next. that's how disturbing this movie is. just like a book and its cover, you can never judge a person based on their appearance. worth - i repeat - worth watching if you haven't so.

rushed for breaking fast i ended up staying late watching the zeecine awards. i tell you, those bollywood actors and actresses can never fail to amaze me with their gorgeousness. the ladies are so darn pretty with an almost perfect *nothing's perfect, right?*, like my auntie said the canvas are already good so whatever painted on it is definitely good. i ended up staying late and almost spend my night there if not because of the chocolate wafer at home that kept on flashing in my mind. but at least i understand what's the hoohaa on arjun rampal is all about. tall, dark and handsome indeed. but i personally still prefer akshay and fardeen isn't bad as well :). sigh, if only you can have this kinda view in singapore. oh man, enough talking crap.

so yeah thats my CBD - christian bale day and hmmm, maybe cine bollywood day as well *maksa.com*

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

Killing Time

and then comes friday. again. just like that.

it's been one *interesting* week for me. managed to complete 2 projects - small, but still! - within this week. woohoo, i'm on fire.

the new structure is out and everyone is feeling anxious, nervous about the future. some are keen on getting up there while others are just enjoying the ride. i myself sits in between - just wish to get more exposure for now, that's all.

so far so good when it comes to fasting. had a fantastic time catching up with friends yesterday. supposed to meet one today but we decided to postpone it to next week *though i can't stop thinking of that bbq buffet place now* and can't wait to break my fast at my late uncle's place tomorrow - home cooked meal, what more can you ask for. hmmm, should i gate crashed my aunt's place later? should i meet up with another friend instead? or maybe i'd just go and get that yummy smelling mutton briyani opposite my flat? its been awhile since i spend time with myself, eh.

8 more minutes before i can knock off. hmm, what i should i do now? what the heck, who cares - it's friday. ciao!

Say a Prayer

a man asked the prophet about do'a (prayer). the prophet's answer was "God will answer our prayer. sometimes it's answered fast, sometimes we don't get what we ask for because He knows what's best for you - He will replace your request with something better. and lastly if your prayer isn't answered in this world, rest assured 'cos you will definitely get it answered in the life after". the man then wished none of his prayer is answered in this world...

- that's me summarizing the beautiful short sermon given before the zuhur prayer in my own words; not the exact hadits -

beautiful and it couldn't have came in a more perfect time. i feel enlightened. i feel light. i wish for the best but God knows what's the best for me. so tomorrow, i shall say my wants. granted or not, it's up to God to decide.

Where Are You?

one of my aunt called me few minutes ago. my uncle's wife, the one who suffered from brain hommorage few years ago, is missing. apparently she opened the front door and left with the house key when the maid was in the loo. no money, nothing. God, i hope nothing bad happens to her. please protect her and i hope she can be find soon.

--- updated ---

she's found at city plaza area, near one of the bazaar stall selling hari raya cookies. looks like she walked from tampines to geylang. blimey!! thank God her neighbour saw her there. poor auntie of mine, i guess she must've been bored now that she can't cook or bake like she used to.

The Malorys

first, its regina (and nicholas). then my favourite, james (and georgina). followed by anthony (and roslynn). then amy (and warren). or was it derek (and kelsey) first? well for sure it's jason (and mollie) and the family history next. joined by drew (and gabrielle). hmm, i might get the order wrong there. then there's jeremy (and danette). and now its katey (and boyd). the malorys can never ever disappoint me. the best family you can ever find in the fictional world - rugged, scandalous, witty, but loving - hurt one, face everyone. hail to ms. lindsey for creating this wonderful family. and my sister for introducing her books to me.

hmmm, i wonder who will it be next? jack i hope. can't wait to see james reaction when his little girl is all grown up.

On A Nice Saturday Morning

it's been quite an eventful weekend for me. fasting, back to gym, spilling coke on my office's machine, diamond peel, and attending a friend's birthday. the last one was a little bit tricky as it's fasting month and i want to respect it even when i'm not observing it but at the same time i didn't want to give people a wrong impression about it. lets just say, thank God i managed it good.

another week has gone by. i was happy with how i did my fasting - accepted or not, that is God's decision. i just hope this will continue when i start fasting again until hari raya comes, God's willing. for now, think i'll continue reading about boyd anderson - i love the malorys!

Day 01

alhamdulillah, i am given yet another chance to live and experience this holy month of ramadhan. after 3 consecutive days of non-stop eating, it's time to put a break on all the food i've been having and fast life i've been living in. it's time to control myself, time to slow things down and practice living a better life.

alhamdulillah, i woke up early today and managed to squeeze gym before work. didn't attend class though, i don't want to push myself hard when i haven't been hitting the gym for ages. plus, i'm focusing on building my thigh muscles - anything to protect my kneecaps.

alrighty, to all my moslem brothers and sisters - ramadhan mubarak, have a blessful one.

I've Been Punked

out of dozens of flats in this block, only 3 was selected and one of them was me. not only i got interviewed (i gave up and called them back after receiving 3 notifications) i was given a book to record my monthly expenses (though most of them was filled with '-' as come on, nursing home? student pass? concession pass? you have to be more selective in picking your random sample, eh) AND - this is the best part - i have to list down my daily expenses *in detail*. "you can't just write lunch, you have to specify what you have for lunch", the lady told me. and transport, how the hell do i know how much is the cost of each journey. all i know is i top up my card for certain amount on a weekly basic. this is to help identifying inflation and the CPI of this tiny red dot was the answer i got when asked what's the purpose of all these. oh well, you pick me you have to leave with it.

1. mrt to work - 1.36 (?? i think)
2. lunch (indian rojak, can't recall the name of each items) - 3.50
3. saturday's entry - in malaysia, used the ringgit exchanged yesterday
4. mrt to toa payoh - 0.89 (???)
5. dinner (batagor , indonesian dish) - 3
6. bus home - 1.30 (????)

good luck with my data!

on another note - i'm getting more and more concerned about my knee. it's been almost a week and it's still weak as ever. i feel the bone rubbing the knee cap with every movement i made. it feels sooo ngilu. the massage didn't help a lot and i've been living with counterpain and knee guard. to pleased my friends, i went to see a doctor. as expected she couldn't do much but advised me to take good care of it. oh, she did advise me to build the thigh muscles so as to lessen the pressure on my knees. and based on her observation, my left calf is smaller than the right one. guess i need to start doing weight training again to balance it out, eh. now i know why my trainer insisted on making my legs bigger - to balance my upper body, she said. and apparently to protect my knees as well. oh well, i kinda miss having that teardrop muscle anyway. i guess i have to stop talking and get into action.

Au Revoir Mon Rêve

until when ya? until when? i thought this could be it. this could be my ticket. but as usual, i thought wrong. it's just another crash boom bang ....

oh well, maybe it's not my time yet. maybe God loves me and wants me to master the art of patience perfectly. i'm not giving up, though. never!

An Overdue and A New Personal View

wasn't as bad a movie as i thought it would be. actually i kinda enjoyed it. good actor, nice storyline. and the twist! i wasn't expecting *that* to happen but it did and it made it more interesting. its just nice to see a movie portraying a superhero in dilemma, fighting an inner battle - i want to be good. but i have to bad. i don't want to get hurt. but i don't want to hurt. okay okay, i might be a bit exaggerating. -pic. courtesy of imdb.com

the simple storyline and naive *character* is the strength of this wonderful movie. not to mention the message behind the movie. i laughed, i pondered, i felt sad. and it's an animation! great animation to be exact. i hope kids who watch this movie gets the message. that aside, it's just nice to see a *couple* ignoring the *social status* gap between them. guess everything is created in pair that even a robot wants a partner to hold hands with *grin* - pic. courtesy of imdb.com

Travel Note - Genting Getaway

i can't recall how we ended up with this idea. all i could remember is that a few of us wanted to do some other place but it was cancelled and so in order to have one where all can make it, we have to do somewhere that doesn't require us to talk leave. and genting it is ....

it was a rush for me. mum grumbled on me going again after my diving trip. but then again, one couldn't make it end of august and i definitely can't make it next month. fasting month is just around the corner and i intend to keep a low profile during that month. and so... last week it was.

day 01 - 22nd aug 2008

left work at 6ish am and meet the other two before heading down to harbour front. there we boarded the coach to KL. reached KL around midnight and we waited for sal, who reached KL earlier to meet her families first, to arrive at the hotel before checking in. put our stuff and all we went out to enjoy the street at night and had a stopped for supper. walked around again and reached hotel around 4am. by then i started to feel a slight pain on my left knee. after teaching them how 'gambreng' works to determined who got the extra bed while others had to share the double bed, off we went to bed in preparation for the following day.

day 02 - 23rd aug 2008

wake up early, had our breakfast at the eatery opposite our hotel before heading down to pasarakyat for a coach ride to genting higlands. once arrived there we went straight to the outdoor theme park. by this time around my knee was killing me but i ignored it and simply walked slower than the rest. i was a bit frustrated when none of the shop there sells tiger balm. but the show must go on and we had a blast trying almost all of the game. two of us decided to take the corkskrew (aka the flying coaster) before lunch. it isn't as scary as it looks but it definitely is awesome! had lunch and by this time around i couldn't hold the pain any longer. i felt like crying 'cos i couldn't massage the pain. it's like the bone and my knee cap was rubbing each other. it's like living the pain mum has been facing all these years.

done with outdoor for awhile, we went indoor for archery. it was intertesting. we've been talking about trying this for *ages* and finally we did it! 37 arrows after we went to the indoor theme park as it was raining heavily outside. i really couldn't hold it any longer that we went to search for watson and yes, i got my balm! stopped for some drinks while i applied the balm on my knee only to be followed by the others who applied it on their shoulder or tummy, lol. everyone was sore in their own style. the plan was not to book a room there. well, we tried but it's all fully book so we went there with the idea of spending time until late and crash at a nearby coach waiting for morning to come. after spending time at the indoor theme park we went back to the outdoor park to collect the stuff they left in the locker. the area was crowded as apparently there's this hk (or taiwan? china?) actor's concert. got our back we went back inside and headed down to the cinema - Wall E time. yeah, it's playing there. movie wise, cute!

done with movie we went for a foot reflexiology where i got told off *again* to take care of my legs or it'd caused a lot of problem as i grow older. done with reflexiology, we went for supper as we didn't have dinner. by then our drama queen was kinda whining that we tried our luck and asked for a room. we got it! the world club room, supposedly one of the best room. checked in, put our stuff and went to walk around the casino. once done we went back and sleep. as none of us brought our stuff with us, we slept with what we're wearing. everyone smelled the same anyway.

day 03- 24th aug 2008

woke up waaay early as we kinda reserved seats on the earliest bus. had shower, had breakfast and off we went to the cable car station. once out of the cable car, one decided to take a look around while i went to the loo. done with my business i noticed two of them were still wandering around the stall and once we gathered one said she wanted to go to the loo first. alas, we missed the bus by 5minutes! oh well, we ended up walking around chitchatting. an hour gone by and we're on our way back to KL.

once we reached the hotel we took our back from the concierge and went to the loo. we didn't book a room so we had to change our clothes at the hotel restroom, hehe. done with changing we went to the coach counter and persuaded them to keep our bag for us. our coach is still like 6hrs away that we're rejected the first time we wanted to put our bag there.

off we went to KLCC for some shopping spree. haha, at least that's what we said. wandered around with my strawberry-filled dounut. we stopped at madam kwan's for lunch. this place was recommended by cin's boss so we thought of trying it - good decision as it is nice. done with KLCC we walked to the latest and biggest shopping centre in KL, wandering around before taking a coffee break. done, we walked back to the hotel and boarded the coach back home. back to reality.

it was a nice getaway. with each of us busy with our own activities, our own life, this trip was a great way of us catching up with each other more than just through emails, friday breakfasts, or monday tennis. got to know your friend's characters better as well. and most of all, each of us enjoyed this simple *away-from-the-red-dot* getaway. not to mention, i got myself a pair of sandal - just one, thanks for the warning from my friend :)

A Girly Getaway

pic. courtesy of yahoo!travel

Road Block

i was waiting for it eagerly, anxiously. excitement, worried, anxious; i'm feeling it all. i wanted to share this with my sister soo much, i wanted to share it with few close friends but i decided to wait a little bit longer. well 3 people knew about it but there's a reason why they were being told. i typed an email to my sister but decided to discard it. i don't want to be excited all to early. tomorrow, i can share it with others. or so i thought....

and now i have to wait a little bit longer. way longer. my life - what a wonderful life.

Travel Note - Dayang Dreaming

it was a great weekend, a weekend where i finally FINALLY got my open water certification. my dream since high school. a dream that kept on getting postponed until now.

prior to the weekend, i attended the class session and pool sessions. pool wise, i had another extra session as i was panic on the 2nd session. why? water kept on going inside my mask. not to mentioned my problem with mask clearing and mask removal. the easiest they said, for me that's the toughest.

a week prior to my trip, i found out about a diver who died during diving in that particular island. and on the morning of my trip, a friend reminded me about that incident with few additional info that made me freaked out. i ended up calling mum and dad asking for their blessing, giving a copy of my travel insurance to my workmates and non-stop praying. i tend to panic and my friend wasn't helping me with the info she gave me (she did apologies when i returned *safely*).

as for the trip? here it goes ...

day 01 - friday, aug 15th 2008

we gathered at the diving shop and left at about 7ish pm. made a stop to fix the hand break which was causing some burning smell. stop for supper and we arrived at mersing late night. as it was low tide so the boat couldn't get into the jetty, we ended up in a speed boat and changed to the boat in the middle of the ocean. reached pulau dayang at 4ish am we straightaway get ourself to bed for the following day.

day 02 - saturday, aug 16th 2008

after breakfast we get into the boat at 9am for our 1st dive at pulau lang. i was a bit nervous doing my 1st giant step in the ocean. i managed to do so and after calming myself i descended with the others. it was awesome. the fishes, the corals everything. we were welcomed by a bumphead fish which our instructor said was something fascinating as you seldom see them in that depth. somehow while swimming i ended up floating and couldn't get myself down. i couldn't do anything when i saw my instructor was swimming around looking for me. luckily one of the guy looked up and saw me, he came up and pulled me down. the dive continued with me floating up every now and then. it just get frustrated when the instructor was pointing an angel fish to us and up i went. i was told afterwards that it was due to my way of swimming. i need to learn flipping better.

back to the island for lunch. afterwards we did another dive at another location, this time it's at cador bay. here we did all the test we need to do for the certification. i was quite worried about the mask clearing but i managed to do it well. woohoo. 2nd regulator exchange, regulator retrieval and few other tasks then off we went for another diving around the area. of course me floating up here and there as well.

back to the island for tea break and off we went for our 3rd diving - captain's point. here we continued our task. the instructor asked us to do all within one day so that we could spend the next day simply enjoying the diving. i was a little panic here as we have to do mask removal. a little bit puzzled when i was only asked to do the hovering and pivoting. apparently she didn't want me to feel pressured doing the mask removal in front of everyone, so thoughtful of her. while waiting for the rest i was down below with her hubby, who is the advance open water instructor. him floating cross legged just reminded me of zeus, haha. once everyone were on the surface she came down to pick me up. that was when she asked me to do the mask removal. took it off and put it on and then i have problem with the mask clearing that i simply shot up. she approached me and asked if i'd like to do it on the following dive. i said yes, and continued with the cesa and tired diver tow tests.

back to the island - end of diving for us. we had dinner and chit chatted while waiting for the advance diver doing their night dive. somehow the accident story came up and i told them that i knew about it, how it made me panic now as i tend to shoot up without realising it (the accident was because the diver made a quick ascend and hit the boat).

day 03 - sunday, aug 17th 2008

we started early. first dive was at 7am. as per usual, we were briefed prior to the dive. we're told that this time around we're going 18m deep, no longer 12m deep. i was a bit restless because i still have the tendency to shoot up and with that depth i can't afford that, not if i want to avoid the decompression sickness not to mention the nitrogen narcosis *something like that*. and this time around we're no longer accompanied by bob, the buoyancy ball we hold on to once we're in the water. not to mention the water is very choppy. i was always the last one to go down because my buddy is my instructor. this time around she told me that i had to get in fast as everyone were drifting away. prior to this, while rigging i noticed something wrong with my tank and they had to change the o-ring. all these made me kinda panic but i jumped anyway. once in i felt the taste of my air was strange. my mind started to run wild that i kept on saying i wasn't ready to descend. she asked me to make up my mind fast as the rest were drifting further and further. i then decided to abort the dive and the boat came to pick me up. its better for me to abort the dive then continuing with panic. God knows what'd happened if i panic down there, and this is pretty deep - at least for me. apparently the funny taste was because i didn't drink enough water. and guess what, few minutes after they descended one by one popped up. apparently some got separated from their buddy and the visibility was very bad. the diving was then aborted. i made a right decision.

back for breakfast and we left again at 9.30am - pulau lang. this time around i had to do the mask removal. that or fail. the hubby was so cute, he came to me and said "you, don't kancheong. i saw you yesterday. you were pretty close". i did the removal but as usual had problem clearing the mask. i don't know.. it should be the easiest task but my mouth and nose never work great together. several times i wanted to descend but my instructor hold me and asked me to look into her eyes. anyhooo i made it! her hubby did some salto and chicken dance for me and guess what, the minute we started swimming a turtle came out from behind a coral and swam toward us. the instructor later said "even the turtle congratulated you. it was like 'finally!!'". i spent most of the time holding my instructor's hand though as once i was alone i floated. sooo frustrated. i've already given additional weight but still floated. one of the guy said its because of my flipping. seriously i need to practice more on this. did our equipment removal in water near the jetty. that completes our certification 'exam'.

after the dive we went back for lunch, had a shower and left the island.

it was a nice weekend. i am so blessed to end up having her as my instructor and the guys as my course mates - each and every one of them really took care of me. especially one of them who was always looking above for me and fetched me once he saw me there. my instructor said that i am the most determined student she's ever taught and she hoped to see me again. my answer was "definitely".

i want to do more leisure dive and i hope to do it with her. she's so patience and so loving. not to mention beautiful.i am just blessed to have her as my instructor.

(i)MPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING

a documentary on how the city of beijing prepared themselves for what could possibly be a once in a lifetime experience - hosting the olympic games. it shows how eager the chinese are on being a host, regardless their age. its about a grammar cop roaming around the city with only one mission on his mind - make no grammar mistakes, beijing. and i personally think it's more on perserverance, trying to achieve what was once thought impossible. hats off for their determination.

it can be considered as a comedy as it made me laughed occassionally. but it made me think as well. how eagerly those people are on being a good host. how strong their 'never give up' attitudes are; and i'm not talking about the youngsters here. there was also a scene where i couldn't help but shed a little *just a teeeny weeny* tears when the teacher advised them to think about their parents whenever they think/feel of giving up. imho, it's a documentary worth watching. and i'm just glad that my old man got the volunteering job! pic. courtesy of twitchfilm.net

... don't let grammars haunt you ...

Brief Post

very proud of you!! congratulations on perservering!!

that's what my instructor wrote on my diving log book. i can't believe i've managed the mask removal as well. and to think a turtle congratulated me for that! hahaha, well that's what my super duper patience instructor said. i have yet to conquer my panicky stage, though. and i know that i will eventually come out as the winner.

i'll definitely blog about the whole trip for my remembrance. just not now. there's loads of house chores awaiting me.

Wish Me Well

i never felt this stress for a getaway before. actually, its more like feeling pressurise because i still haven't master the mask clearing - which is said to be the easiest of all - properly. sometimes i did it without knowing how i managed to do so. once i think about it, that's it - breathe from mouth, blow from nose. and with those not so nice stories i've been told about ...
it's supposed to be fun! if i can't do it or if i start to panic i'll just signal the instructor. those stories are just stories, i can not think too much about it. God is my trusted protector ...

pic. courtesy of virtualtourist.com

Mantra

i need to control my panic when water came in. i need to learn to clear my mask. i need to learn blowing properly. i need to learn breathing from my mouth. i need to stay calm all the time. i need to learn to stay at one spot instead of moving around.

look at her now - if it takes her 15yrs to be certified i too can be one!

i'm in control of myself. i'm in control of my equipment. i'm comfortable with my equipment. i have perserverance like what she said. i'm good! i can do it. jia you! ganbatte! SAYA BISA!

Panic Attack

mrt stalled in the tunnel - i panic. crowded lift and it stopped to move - i panic. cu chi tunnel - i panic *shame!shame!shame!*. basically, i panic easily when i'm stuck in a confined space, especially when it's small and dark. not only that, being very imaginatively creative makes me panic more when all i could imagine about is the worst case scenario. this is so not good; the break pedal must be stepped on.

so yesterday when i started to have that feeling, i tried hard to calm myself. i let my brain do the talking, pushing the imaginations away. i managed to be calm a bit and i hope i can stay the same or maybe even better later. God knows what's in store for me later.

In a Fantasy Land

its been ages since my last historical romance meal that i decided to put down the book i was reading halfway and move to ms. lindsey's latest book. well actually its more like i saw it in the library, so i picked it up and brought it home.

ms. lindsey can never fail me. the anticipation as usual is not on how the ending is because, well, it's always a happy ending or else it wouldn't be called romance for nothing. the journey towards the ending is what made me finished reading fast. if i didn't stop myself i could just spend one sleepless night for this. with my own imagination skill, raphael and ophelia's story is just so enjoyable to read. oh well, they don't call it historical romance for nothing

pic. courtesy of simonsays.com

Being 30

nope, not me - i'm way over that....

a friend of mine more than half a year ago but eversince then she couldn't help relating almost everything to that. getting tired too often - maybe it's the age when she's been out and about a lot. wanting almost everything - it's the age. can't stop eating - 30. connecting the existence of cellulite with the age. yada yada yada...

well yes i've been told to take care of myself before reaching that age because once you're there you'll encounter loads of issue - back ache, slower metabolism, and all sort of things. i did search on the cellulite thingy and apparently cellulite is at its max when you're 30 years of age. mmm, i couldn't help my self but wonder how it was like for me 4 years ago, hitting 30 and all that. thank god for diary, i managed to know how i felt, hiks, i'm now 30. i have to behave and dressed more like my age now - THAT's all i wrote!!

oh well i guess being 30 for me is just .... being 30!

Divine Intervention

just when i thought of telling my parents about it once i'm done, mum called today telling me that she's treating me a trip to go home since there's some airline promotion. with that i had to tell her my plans for the coming weeks - including one that i planned to tell only when it's over to avoid any disapproval or making them worry. as expected, i got the "why are you always up for nonsense?" comment - two weeks earlier.

somehow i have a feeling that the big guy upstairs are smiling. yes i know, i can never keep a secret from my parents, especially mum.

On Singfest, Friendship and Pocket

i had a wonderful weekend!!

went for singfest yesterday, leaving the house at 9ish in the morning to meet the others for brunch beforehand. the event itself was great, money well spent - i can say that. pity that singapore has no proper place for an outdoor concert, though. i mean fort canning is good for musical, theatre, dance etc but for some pop/rock kinda concert? errk, those buildings in between just make it too pack. nonetheless i enjoyed it so much. gotta give 2 acts a miss because i had to attend a friend's birthday party. oh well, not that i'm a great fans of those 2 performers anyways. back in time to catch rick astley and i'm happy. yupe, he is the main reason for me going to the event. yes he's old but i like his songs when i was in secondary school. its quite funny though to see only a handsfull of people know his songs. i'm darker for sure, but i'm happy! all i need now is to upload all the videos to flickr (if you know my yahoo id or my nick, what bk stands for, you should be able to view it as well) or maybe facebook for my sister, let her burn with envy haha.

during the break between acts, cin talked to me about what she came to her mind in the birthday venue. how few people there who used to be close friend are no longer *that* close, if not acting like a stranger to each other - some due to relationship problem (hence my believe in thinking twice about turning friendship to the next level) while others due to some expectation issue. how she realised that two of us were the only one who's still as close as we were the first time we joined the group.

it's true though; i learnt a lot lately mostly on not having any expectation on anyone, about trusting your friends and understanding each other more. yes we have disagreement, but we work things out and learnt from our mistakes and move on. in fact, it makes the friendship stronger as we know the other party better as a person - as a friend. i hope i will never have an estranged relationship with any friends of mine. if i make a mistake, i'd rather be told off so i know my wrongs instead of friend(s) holding grudges on me. friendship is something i treasure as much as i treasure my family. okay, no need to be mellow. next ....

and now being sleepy and all, i made a point to write down all my weekend expenses in between doing the analysis (my way to avoid getting headache seeing all those numbers) and oh yeah, i spent a bomb during the weekend. paying the singfest ticket, food, taxi and stuff; not to mention i just registered for a course that isn't that cheap as well. nope, NO REGRETS. just need to tighten my spending and cut down calling home ...

Ironic

i bumped into a friend earlier today. i was surprised to see the new her - she looks good. actually, she looks great. of course i asked her what's the secret. ironically, she told me that she's doing what i did before - exercise and healthy diet. i couldn't get that thought out of my head afterwards - i still can't get it out of my head now. isn't it sad when you motivate people and yet you yourself is no longer in that state. i know now what it feels like to be becky - being someone who no longer practice what she preaches. will i ever get motivation back?

August 1st 2001

my nephew's 7 years of age today. i can't believe how fast he has grown. at times i talk to him like he is still a toddler, much to his annoyance. our phone conversation is more meaningful nowadays, though sometimes it could lead to some mini argument. lol, can't believe he's 7 today. i'm glad that my card reached him a day earlier, at least you know i still think of you eventhough i didn't fulfill your wish of my coming home, eh. my, just few weeks ago i was amazed with the fact that he's in primary 2 and today - 7 !! i guess i have to start preparing myself with the fact that soon i have to respect him as a young man. love love love my nephew a lot. happy birthday, kiddo! *mmmuuuaaaccckkkksss*

I Hate Mummies

that's what he loves to say. "i hate jet li", THAT is my say. i don't know why, i just despise him (and jackie chan). maybe because they act like they're oh so famous? sais pas...
but it doesn't stop me from watching the 3rd installment of the mummy. i am totally disappointed that rachel weisz is no longer there, that's for sure. and i couldn't understand why the audience laughed during the mandarin dialog every now and then. i found out only after the show the reason why. nevertheless, i did have my share of laughter. the part where the skull decapitates each other is very funny. overall, it is an okay movie with great animation. i still despise jet li though.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

Signed Sealed Delivered

i believe 2008 is the year i started thinking more seriously about all the things i've been wanting to do. things i've been postponing mainly because i thought by delaying it for *awhile* i could do something else first. either that or i was just hoping i would find someone who'd do it together with me. this kept on going for years and all the things i want to do just kept on getting delayed, not to mention the birth of several new *wants*. after doing loads of self-reflection i knew for sure that i couldn't delay what i want to do again and again. i HAVE TO set my mind and focus on it instead of excusing myself to do other things first. i don't want to live a life full of regrets. life is just too precious for that. so to keep my mind focus, i create myself a to-do list. a list that i'm sure will keep on getting longer but at least i can look at it instead of letting it just linger in my mind.

and so today, i went into the shop and registered myself. bit by bit, i'm ticking them off ....

The Truth Is Out There

it was nice seeing them again - softer scully scruffy mulder; sans the alien(s) though. i guess time does change people, eh. story line wise, well its not that bad though i'd love it more if they explore what they've left behind - the sister, their son, alien(s). but i think it is more real. but still, seeing them again with that unique tune is just enough to fill in years of not seeing them together on my tv screen.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

If Love Is Blind

a wonderful movie with an unexpected twist. it was put together beautifully you wouldn't have guessed what is coming your way - what really happens. tatou did justice to the character. i can always count on her acting skill.

i guess this is another proof that we always need to hear both side of stories.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

Its A Story About Taking Off

a story about a guy who leave everything behind to start a new life in a foreign land. new language, new friends, new experience, relationship issue, friendship issue. all these leads to discovering the real purpose of living.

it makes me wonder though, about starting in a new country and the what-ifs of leaving it all behind.
nice movie, should've watched this before the sequel but well, i just got it now.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

Excuse No More

now that things have changed, there's no excuse anymore. all i need is to focus and be discipline to make it happen. and make it happen i will.

And The Winner Is .....

... life is too short or too long to allow myself to live it badly ...

i'll be able to do both; might not be max but hey, i'd be able to get the best of both.

after years of postponing, its time to do it. it's now or never. so, sea it is.....

Bad Man

just when i was talking about him - the movies, the look - to a friend this morning, the news came. assaulting your sister and your MUM? ssshhhh that's a definite no no. i hope it's just a public stunt mum made though. but if he really did it, he's not practising what he preached - it's is not who i am underneath, it's what i *do* that defines me. what a way to tarnish his own reputation, again .. if the rumour is true - which i hope is not.