Positive Attitude

tomorrow remarks my 13th year in this country. i might have not achieve all the things i want. but if there's nothing stopping me what's keeping me here? i'm still waiting for the answer to that.

meanwhile, enough feeling blue. enough feeling like a crap.

GET OUT. DRESS UP. WORK OUT. AND GET YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT!

My Normal Saturday ...

i kinda miss the day when i left the house to grab a lunch at java kitchen @vivo city. after which, i'd take the monorail to sentosa and played vb for few hours, grabbed a quick shower and had dinner together before going home. i missed the fun of just sitting at the side of the court watching the game or joining in the game trying my best to hit the ball *though i tend to dodge it or simply shouted "not mine" when the ball came my way*. i missed chit chatting with the others while the two doggies tried to push their way in between us and i moved several times just so that their nose didn't touch me. i miss thinking how darker i'd be under those scorching sun.

so today, i decided to switch off my machine and do what i used to do. and i love it. though my game is back to being suck *but hey, i saved the ball once!*, though i was thought a newbie because there's sooo many newbies *to me at least* there, though i didn't stay until the end and had dinner together, i had a lovely time. not to mention one of the newbie there looks like matt damon *well, the eyes and the smile to me even when the rest said "NO"*.

it's good to be back...

C B D

i finally watched the movie. was quite gutted when i missed it in the cinema so it was such a blessed to find it online. well yeah, christian bale is what made me keen to watch it. story wise, its good. a cowboy movie - an action genre - which portrays love, family value, and inner battle. how one person would go to the extra mile in order to fulfill the need of his/her family even it that means sacrificing themselves. a nice movie that is worth watching.

i was supposed to be heading down to vb but after much contemplation i decided to stay put and wait for evening to come before going to my late uncle's. no point rushing to vb only to rush back to hougang, eh. especially when i found another movie to watch ;)

it was definitely one great movie - disturbing in a great way that is. again he gave an absolutely WONDERFUL performance as an instable yuppy, a psycho. there were times where i even flinched in anticipation of what's coming next. that's how disturbing this movie is. just like a book and its cover, you can never judge a person based on their appearance. worth - i repeat - worth watching if you haven't so.

rushed for breaking fast i ended up staying late watching the zeecine awards. i tell you, those bollywood actors and actresses can never fail to amaze me with their gorgeousness. the ladies are so darn pretty with an almost perfect *nothing's perfect, right?*, like my auntie said the canvas are already good so whatever painted on it is definitely good. i ended up staying late and almost spend my night there if not because of the chocolate wafer at home that kept on flashing in my mind. but at least i understand what's the hoohaa on arjun rampal is all about. tall, dark and handsome indeed. but i personally still prefer akshay and fardeen isn't bad as well :). sigh, if only you can have this kinda view in singapore. oh man, enough talking crap.

so yeah thats my CBD - christian bale day and hmmm, maybe cine bollywood day as well *maksa.com*

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

I've Been Punked

out of dozens of flats in this block, only 3 was selected and one of them was me. not only i got interviewed (i gave up and called them back after receiving 3 notifications) i was given a book to record my monthly expenses (though most of them was filled with '-' as come on, nursing home? student pass? concession pass? you have to be more selective in picking your random sample, eh) AND - this is the best part - i have to list down my daily expenses *in detail*. "you can't just write lunch, you have to specify what you have for lunch", the lady told me. and transport, how the hell do i know how much is the cost of each journey. all i know is i top up my card for certain amount on a weekly basic. this is to help identifying inflation and the CPI of this tiny red dot was the answer i got when asked what's the purpose of all these. oh well, you pick me you have to leave with it.

1. mrt to work - 1.36 (?? i think)
2. lunch (indian rojak, can't recall the name of each items) - 3.50
3. saturday's entry - in malaysia, used the ringgit exchanged yesterday
4. mrt to toa payoh - 0.89 (???)
5. dinner (batagor , indonesian dish) - 3
6. bus home - 1.30 (????)

good luck with my data!

on another note - i'm getting more and more concerned about my knee. it's been almost a week and it's still weak as ever. i feel the bone rubbing the knee cap with every movement i made. it feels sooo ngilu. the massage didn't help a lot and i've been living with counterpain and knee guard. to pleased my friends, i went to see a doctor. as expected she couldn't do much but advised me to take good care of it. oh, she did advise me to build the thigh muscles so as to lessen the pressure on my knees. and based on her observation, my left calf is smaller than the right one. guess i need to start doing weight training again to balance it out, eh. now i know why my trainer insisted on making my legs bigger - to balance my upper body, she said. and apparently to protect my knees as well. oh well, i kinda miss having that teardrop muscle anyway. i guess i have to stop talking and get into action.

On Singfest, Friendship and Pocket

i had a wonderful weekend!!

went for singfest yesterday, leaving the house at 9ish in the morning to meet the others for brunch beforehand. the event itself was great, money well spent - i can say that. pity that singapore has no proper place for an outdoor concert, though. i mean fort canning is good for musical, theatre, dance etc but for some pop/rock kinda concert? errk, those buildings in between just make it too pack. nonetheless i enjoyed it so much. gotta give 2 acts a miss because i had to attend a friend's birthday party. oh well, not that i'm a great fans of those 2 performers anyways. back in time to catch rick astley and i'm happy. yupe, he is the main reason for me going to the event. yes he's old but i like his songs when i was in secondary school. its quite funny though to see only a handsfull of people know his songs. i'm darker for sure, but i'm happy! all i need now is to upload all the videos to flickr (if you know my yahoo id or my nick, what bk stands for, you should be able to view it as well) or maybe facebook for my sister, let her burn with envy haha.

during the break between acts, cin talked to me about what she came to her mind in the birthday venue. how few people there who used to be close friend are no longer *that* close, if not acting like a stranger to each other - some due to relationship problem (hence my believe in thinking twice about turning friendship to the next level) while others due to some expectation issue. how she realised that two of us were the only one who's still as close as we were the first time we joined the group.

it's true though; i learnt a lot lately mostly on not having any expectation on anyone, about trusting your friends and understanding each other more. yes we have disagreement, but we work things out and learnt from our mistakes and move on. in fact, it makes the friendship stronger as we know the other party better as a person - as a friend. i hope i will never have an estranged relationship with any friends of mine. if i make a mistake, i'd rather be told off so i know my wrongs instead of friend(s) holding grudges on me. friendship is something i treasure as much as i treasure my family. okay, no need to be mellow. next ....

and now being sleepy and all, i made a point to write down all my weekend expenses in between doing the analysis (my way to avoid getting headache seeing all those numbers) and oh yeah, i spent a bomb during the weekend. paying the singfest ticket, food, taxi and stuff; not to mention i just registered for a course that isn't that cheap as well. nope, NO REGRETS. just need to tighten my spending and cut down calling home ...

STRANGE

we started the day with a visit to the fish farm. nothing much there but at least my friend has satisfied her curiosity. since it's still early we decided to catch a movie. this movie was the only movie that started within few minutes time. so watch it we did.

yes, i did get startled every now and there. i give it good point for the eeriness. as for the ending? plain weird. wait!! now that i think about it, the ending makes more sense - more real. is it based on true story? i have no idea. at least i've got to see scott again.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

oh oh oh ... do keep an eye on the champagne bottle. there's one scene where the girl was standing around the dining area there's an unopened bottle near the candles. they had drank the champagne earlier!!. first i thought its another bottle, but scene afterwards shows the opened bottled again.

The Train, The Work, and The Book

i really hate inconsiderate people and the ride to work this morning confirms the fact that i really really do.

the train was packed with commuters and this guy standing in the middle didn't want to move a single inch for the sake of others. i would normally squeeze in and stand at the empty spot ignoring people who seem annoyed i take their so-called free space. but i couldn't do that today. i did voice it out and the ladies moved in a bit but the guy simply stayed put. *eyes rolling*

then came another annoying thing. somewhere in that car, someone played a very cheena music for others to listen. i saw people looking around in annoyance. i myself was very annoyed. it's simply inconsiderate. i guess it annoyed a guy with an earpiece as well who ended up increasing the volume of his iPod. others, like me, were left listening to loud musics - an oriental and western music. what a mess!

and this is the best part - blocking the entrance/exit. a young man standing in between the door when he knew how many people were standing facing the door to get off at the next station. i hate this kinda people and i never keep quiet when faced with this kinda situation. so i told him to move and he didn't move. instead he just stood there letting people walked around him to get out. oh well, a little bit of manouver and hitting him with my bag wouldn't do no harm. and that's what i did after telling him that he should've get out of the train and give way to others.

i can't stand those incosiderate people. if they're old or disabled, that's fine. but youngsters or even professional? give me a break. they might not all be local but they surely make locals look bad. people will normally comment saying 'singaporean bla bla bla' since it happens here.

oh well ...

on another note - today is my 2nd day at a new company. no no no not that i move to another company but since july 1st we are all merged as one global company. no longer 'hi i'm x from singapore office', it's now 'hi, i'm x from the far east region'. so far not many changes felt, only change of business card and signature. let's see how it goes in the long run as it was said chances of working in a virtual teams are higher. still i wonder why indonesia is not together with us in the far east region, but with oz and nz in the oceania :?

speaking of virtual team, i read a book yesterday and it makes me worried until this very second. what stated there isn't good for me, especially when what i'm hoping for is totally the opposite of what's stated there. oh well, i guess i'll just stick to the commitment and see how it goes ...

alright, back to work.

Perks of a Gym Membership

we brought our back during lunch time and stored it at the gym locker, only taking with us our wallet, staff pass, and mobile. lunch over, meeting was over, we continued working as usual waiting for the beloved alarm to ring. once it did, we waited for the instruction and started descending to the assembly area. stayed for awhile after reporting to the fire warden, which somehow wasn't the usual french guy, what a shame :\. once the firedrill exercise was over and everyone started going back to the lobby waiting for the lift up, we walked straight pass it and headed back to the gym. collected our back and off we go. and i managed to catch the 5.05pm show. brilliant :D

On Singlehood

a friend was in town and i met her for a catch up earlier. to be perfectly honest, i wasn't overly excited on meeting her because, well, we have a different lifestyle. eventually, i decided to just go with the flow and not caring about any of that.

we chatted a lot, mostly she sharing her current dilemma. i decided to be open minded in responding to her. as selfish as it may sounds, listening to all this kinda issues always makes me feel blessed that my parents had brought me up this way. eventually she started asking me the same old questions people's been asking or probably wondering - don't you feel the need/eager to have some sort of excitement in life (ie. relationship)? since we don't share the same belief, its kinda difficult explaining it from that point of view. so i used my normal answer :- yes i am single and no, i don't want to be single all my life. BUT that doesn't mean i have to whine about my life as a single girl. i am going to enjoy every second of it; doing things i want to do, achieving things i dream of - responsibly. and if one day i got hitched and am not allowed to do any of these anymore, i'm fine - been there done that!

she then asked but why not try? even when you know you'll end up hurt, at least you experience it. well, why bother starting things when you know it won't lead you anywhere. why waste your precious time? i might be a dreamer who can really live in a fantasy world. i might be a romantic fool who has silly romantic ideas. but there are times when i can be realistic too. she kinda nodded her head in agreement, LOL. we continued the conversation and somehow i'm beginning to understand why she is the way she is when she started talking about her family. honestly, i feel a little bit sorry for her and hopes the best for her.

surprisingly the night turns out great, a nice catching up with a live tribal music in the background. i can say this is the first time i have a deep conversation with her but it felt like we've been doing it for ages. unfortunately my avoiding coke is useless. i had a glass of lemon tea and a glass of camomile tea and i'm still wide awake now. oh wait, i had a glass of lemon tea during lunch time. no wonder!!!!

Spinning

we've finally graduated from b2 salsa last night. the intermediate class starts next week but we decided to take a month break, 'absorbing' all the moves we've learned before continuing. i personally am still confuse with all those cross body lead (cbl) steps. 4 cbls and we have to know based on how the partner lead us - hands down means this, hands up means that, and hands in between means another thing. my oh my. i hit the teacher's elbow once when i turned the wrong way, and i did turn the wrong way several times last night. imagine if i sign up for intermediate where we'll be learning the double spin and free style when up until today i still can't do the 1.5 turn once the music is on. still it was a good time spent with people who are as stress as i am everytime we got the turn to partner with the instructor. and my head is still spinning from all the turns we did last night.

Some People Want It All, But ...

Nothing's Better Than :-

• spending time with friends you can connect with over dinner.
• strolling from one buffet spread to another with someone who has the same passion when it comes to food.
• chit chatting about almost anything from plain silly to work to super serious stuff while trying to digest all the food intake.
• joking around even with a friend you just met though you feel you've known them for ages from the stories you heard about them.
• moving from dining to the lounge, continuing the chit chat over a cup of tea
• hearing the male's point of view on SATC the movie, comparing it with the real life scenario/situation
• sharing views on life, family and what have you with people from different culture/race.
• having a more serious conversation someone you feel comfortable with.
• meeting a friend's friend's friend only to find out that he's actually an ex-colleague (yeah, tell me about it).
• ending the night with a smile after spending 5 hours with lovely people, leaving nothing but a heart warming feeling in you.
• reaching your destination with a relieve smile upon knowing that you have enough cash to cover the cab fare

for all that, i can only say thank you!

Passion for Running

finally, it's done and over with. was so sleepy as i could only sleep at 3am, but the show must go on. so i forced myself up and walked to the starting point. i haven't been runing since i came back from kinabalu, so i have no expectation on this run.

wasn't a bad run though everytime i stopped for a drink i ended up walking a bit. all in all i believe i kinda did 13km or running and 2km of walking. could've been better i know, maybe next time.

can' wait for the release of the timing now...

Badge of Honour

in a form of a wound that is. thank God for jeans, else it would definitely be worst. the fact that our team won both battles, priceless..

A Night To Remember

disappointed i am still was but it disappeared with the hugs from the girls. one of them told me her suspicion on my disappointment, which i find is true. thank you girls...

a very dear friend of ours is in town and today is the day we're catching up with him, hence the dinner. he doesn't change a bit, well more muscular and still as charming as ever. and with his 5 o'clock shadow; all of us agreed on how ruggedly handsome he looks. even when we haven't meet for more than a year, nothing's change. we're still doing the same old things we used to do - teasing each other, joking, sharing views of life, pouring our heart out on what's happenning at work and what we've been doing since he moved from singers, and of course being the only guy surrounded by 4 of us - girls. went for a 2nd round where we had dessert and continued our chit chat - from life to girls to work to religion to all other stuff. to sum it up - i love how today ends.

he's still the same old dearly charming guy. he still makes us blush once in a while with his genuine compliments. even we noticed how one of the waitress are taken by his charm. he still makes me speechless every now and then. and he still said i give out the 'arrogance' vibe *i beg to differ anyway*. overall he's still the same dear friend who will always have a special place in our heart. i'm so glad i have you as a friend and i am so very sure whoever you end up with will be one of the luckiest girl alive.

on another note, reached home and i was surprised to read a message from my friend. she's a scientist and she failed her exam last year. she's retaking it in september and hoping to ace it this time around. i know this might sound bad but still, a scientist failing an exam - i must be normal to fail mine then.

My Sunday Life

i am happy with what i achieved today.

few days ago i casually mentioned my sunday plan to cin, cycling in the morning and doing my own vertical challenge in the evening. she immediately said she's in for the vertical thingy, which means that it is a confirmed activity. can't turn back now :)

my plan was to wake up early, do my stuff before heading down to ecp - the park, not the road. after which i'd go home and do my house chores before meeting cin for the climbing. but of course doing cycling alone means chance of the plan cancelled is very high. and it almost was. i forced myself to leave the house around 9.30AM, 1.5hrs later than my original plan. i told myself that it's okay to skip b&b and focus on striking off what's the top priority in my to-do list. to cut the story short - i reached ecp, rented a bike, put my sunglasses on to conceal myself from embarassment in case something happened, and i started paddling. and I AM HAPPY! i managed to cycle straight, well of course few minor zig zag still occured, from the bike shop until the end of the park, close to fort rd there. and i only stopped twice. i stopped twice again on my way back to the bike shop because i was panic after trying to cut someone in front of me and loads of bicycles came from the opposite side. but still i am very happy that i managed to cycle and enjoy the sea view at once, i no longer focus on the road in front of me all the time. happy happy happy! i rewarded myself by having a plate of siomay bandung and teh botol; packed ayam penyet for later from waroeng penyet.

i went home, rest awhile and left again as soon as i'm done with my obligation. vertical challenge time. supposed to be done at 5ish but cin went to the morning service and requested for it to be earlier if possible. on our way there i told her that my friend was staying in that flat and that i've warned her of us stopping by in case we need some rest. she then suggested to ask yol along, so we stopped by her place and dragged her out to join us, LOL. we went to 1st floor and started climbing the stairs. i realised that their steps are lesser than my place, guess that's how new hdbs are. we climbed until the 40th story and started to climb down afterwards. it ain't that tough that we decided to do another round of climbing. this was when the exhaustion kicked in. i was breatheless when we reached 20th storey but still we managed to reached the last floor again and climbed 3 storeys down to yol's place, after which we left to find some stuff and ended up walking for another 2-3 hours. ended the day with a plate of pempek - velocity has the best pempek i've tasted in singapore.

its definitely an interesting workout, thrilled exhausted but i truly enjoyed it. and i'm thinking of making this sunday morning cycling a habit, any takers? ;)

My Running Story

together with hp, i did pump on monday. we haven't been doing pump for almost a year that both of us were having tough time on tuesday, struggling hard just to sit and stand. still i forced myself to do combat yesterday even when i couldn't balance myself well after each kick. and today together with hp i did our weekly run. both of us was laughing when we started running because well, we couldn't! our thighs are as stiff as a log that she said she ran with a straight leg. i ran so very slow as well. and from all the run we had, today was actually one of the interesting one. from some tourist chanting "hop hop hop hop" to another tourist clapping his hand and said "come on, hop hop hop" a few metres away from the first one. reaching clarke quay area a lady commented about us to her friend in french to which i looked at her and said "merci" in return. i kinda gave up once we reached river valley and walked a bit. an indian guy looked at me saying "come on, you can do it. go go go" which well didn't motivate me to start again. once i stopped my leg was back to being a log. i managed to continue though and both of us finally reached our starting point again.

from there we went for dinner, my first prata bomb. again, the old man was very kind and kept on asking me to comment on his food just like gurmit did on tv. hp wanted to try one putu piring; the lady was confused because apparently nobody ever asked for just one that she ended up giving it FOC *hp likes it and bought some for her parents anyways*. we had a simple yet nice dinner and while we're eating an old man who was stopping nearby said "eat eat eat" when we looked at him. lol.

we both agreed that today was the most interesting run we've ever had. and i kinda feel that all these small little nicely gestures from people around us were like a reward for our determination to run even when the legs are as stiff as a log.

sometimes all we need is just to push ourself a little bit harder...

A Day at ECP

i managed to balance myself longer on the bicycle this time around. yesss!! still i need to practice more as i have the tendency to hit the tree and/or those light poles along the road. there was once my friend decided to stop at a big tree so that i don't hit it, lol. it was a fun 2hrs of cycling for me and my friend, while another friend of us had her hand on rollerblading and felt 4 times that she had few bruises on her bxtt now. i really salute her perserverance on learning how to blade. considering this is her first time from not being able to stand from walking until gliding though her fall was pretty hard she kept on going, wonderful!
it was indeed a great 2 hours of learning. regardless of few bruises on my calves and soreness from 2 hrs of cycling, i am so looking forwarad to striking the no.1 item off my to-do list soon!

View From Top

went to experienced the singapore flyer with my ex-fm (here we go again with the nick) earlier. nothing much as expected, but at least we've experienced it. we kinda try to do something different on our birthday, something we don't usually do. we did gold class for hers and the flyer for mine. God help us with some ideas come next year. but then again its way too early to talk about next year, hehe. view wise, well it's similar to what i see on my weekly run, just that this time around its from above. well actually i should say my used to be weekly run route 'cos now we've change the route to river valley, thanks to the floating stadium and this very own flyer which makes us run more along the road side than the river. 45mins of ride followed by dinner and ended the night with a movie *which will be reviewed shortly*. a nice way to start the long weekend! thanks again for the flyer, yol....

Food Talk

a nice dinner at a lovely place with my two lovely workmates. during dinner i was told that they actually ordered 2kgs(!!) of my favourite preserved mango as a gift but until today the stock hasn't come in. hp has been spending time since early february searching for the wholesaler. i am so touch man! no wonder jn has been asking if the mango auntie has called me. i did get the auntie's number and call her almost everyday to check if the stock is in. well, i guess i am destined to stop having it. so in exchange for the mangoes we had banana splits, a nice simple dessert to end the night. thanks girlies!

Recap

it's been a wonderful day. like i always say - i've been blessed!! from handshake to text messages to email to messages on inbox to messages on the wall to phone calls, i thank each and everyone for that. birthday is not something celebrated in my family so i never take it seriously. its just like any other normal day. so even i've been experiencing some changes for the past few years i'm still overwhelmed with all these thingo.

met the girls minus one earlier for dinner followed by dessert and chit chat that ended only because we realised we're the only one left. still not wanting to part ways, we ended up in a hotel lobby. got a seat near a bar so we can continue chit chatting while listening to the live music foc. suddenly an idea of getting a room for the night came up. called few hotels nearby but all of them cost a bomb and we didn't want to go anywhere far from city. it's almost midnight as well that we decided to forgo the idea and just continue chatting until midnight. a lovely way to end the day.

today is also the 2nd day of the training. unlike yesterday today is a hands-on session. by the end of the course we asked to be given real example of an attack. though we didn't get that granted *that is another workshop was the answer* we were given a site where we can view lists of things being hacked like password, private file etc. we tried opening the private file and somehow i ended up in someone's directory containing loads of mp3s!!! a very interesting training i should say. especially when today's training ended up with me having 2 new songs ;)