The Journey

when there is no turning back, we should concern ourselves only with the best way of going forward - paulo coelho.
so i've decided to proceed the matter further instead of just keeping quiet until mid year as i know the words are simply an empty promise. honestly i'm a bit annoyed that i have to fight the battle for two alone. here i am doing all the talking and taking all the action while the other one just lay low, simply enjoying the result. sigh, too late to regret. just hope i got the good response for the two of us soon.

In Novena

i'm now in the gym, novena branch. my first time here after months of thinking of going. now that i'm here i was totally blur. without my glasses it's a bit difficult for me to explore the gym. combat launch is still 40 mins away. luckily there's this internet to occupy me. well, i've tried the machine that i only found here but i had enough of it. i know my fave instructor is doing the launch in raffles but it's too late. 8.50 pm when i want to go home early to watch the oscar. met my ex-trainer online earlier that made me decide to go to novena instead. she was a bit sceptical when i asked about combat launch. when i said i wanted to go her reply was 'i sense a but here ..'. she knows me well. but this time around my but is more on the branch to go.
had a chat with mum earlier. i felt bad going to the gym and stuff when people back home was busy planning on who's staying with mom tonight. but i can't do anything. if i go home now and the operation is still unsure when, i only waste my leave. i'd rather go home when the schedule is out so that i know my time there is fully for her. feel like an ungrateful daughter here.
haiz, even no mood to blog. guess i'll just continue exploring the new gym with my blur eyes.bisous

Its Back!!

the fun run is back. registration is open. and i'm just happy that i managed to psycho two more people from other departments to join the fun. and now i simply need to focus on losing weight now that i ambitiously chose the smallest tshirt size for the run. it's possible though *from someone who just finished 100gr of famous amos*.

Home Again

got a message from my sis on saturday morning that mum had a terrible stomach ache and she's now in the hospital. i was surprised and called back to get more detail news. apparently mom's been vomitting since midnight but didn't want to bother anyone *so tipical of her* until 5ish in the morning. she was in the emergency and given a drip since her blood pressure dropped from 70/90 to 50/something which is bad. after her blood pressure was stable she had to undergo several test. doctor suspected a stone in the kidney as she's experiencing pain in her tummy. i feel so sad being far from the family. all i can do was cancelled all my weekends plan. it seems so selfish of me to have fun while everyone back home is taking care of mom. last night i got a confirmation that there's a stone in her galbladder. my sis said it is big, hence the laproscopic *pardon my speeling* need to be done. i want to go home, though mum said no need to if i couldn't apply leave. no way jose. after all she's my mum and it would be crazy if my boss disapprove my leave. thank god, she's fine and all i need to do now is wait for the schedule date of the operation before getting my ticket home. though it's a total anasthesy *again pardon my spelling* laproscopic is a common surgery, and all she could think of is that i haven't settle down yet.
i hope everything runs smoothly and mum can have a total rest in the hospital. the 1st thing she thought about when told that she had to stay in the hospital was who's going to cook. when my sis told her not to worry too much, there's a lot of restaurant she still think about my dad who's quite fussy when it comes to outside food. my mummy dearie ...

Perfect Match dot Com

ain't she lovely? of course she is 'cos she's my sweetie niece. though not as fair and cute as her bro she's still a sweetheart. i put her picture on my msn and guess what? someone was asking for a picture. haha, matchmaking in the process. i have no objection knowing the candidate is a handsome boy as well, caucasian somemore. of course, it's just for fun and my sister can only shakes her head when i told her about my friend's intention. but imagine a 5 mths old girl getting more option than her auntie, ck ck ck.

Thank You!!

to a dear friend of mine. after sharing some thoughts of mine with her and getting her views, she told me to read her friendster's blog. i went there and it really touches me reading what she wrote there. something very heartwarming and i am very sure it is addressed to me. tears are threatening to come out soon if i re-read her post. God really bless me with lots of sweet friends. thanks again!!

How's Your Future?

you couldn't change the past but the future could be a different story. it had to start somewhere - little children.
another good movie...

Scandaliciously Good...

this movie really live to its expectation. with great actresses and simple yet intricating story line i left the cinema feeling very satisfied. apart from ghost rider, i feel that 2007 movies are so far so good. i find myself enjoying british movie more and more nowadays. lovely

You Come and Go .. you come and go ..

i simply like this song. heard it for the 1st time from my sisters mobile that i request for the mp3. my niece enjoys it because the babysitter always watch the drama while feeding her. my nephew hates it that he'd even stomped his leg in the pharmacy when the TV was showing some shots from the next episode of the drama. lol

Di daun yang ikut mengalir lembut
Terbawa sungai ke ujung mata
Dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta
Menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada
Jalanku hampa dan kusentuh dia
Terasa hangat oh didalam hati
Kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu
Tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi
Tak pernah kuragu dan slalu kuingat
Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat
Ku saat itu takut mencari makna
Tumbuhkan rasa yg sesakkan dada

Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja
Semua kutrima apa adanya
Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam
Di ruang rindu kita bertemu

Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja
Semua kutrima apa adanya
Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam
Di ruang rindu kita bertemu

Silence is Gold .. not?

especially for someone who loves talking like me. practicing it makes others wonder if something is wrong with you. doh!

Post Holiday

finally i'm back from my hometown. i know its a bit sad but there's always a mix feelings. i'm always excited to go back home mainly because i can't wait to meet my families, especially my nephew and niece. but i'm excited to be back here as well, seems like i'm getting back to my own world. this trip home is a bit different as this time around i really did think of the possibility of moving back there - it's all because of a chat i had with my 2 friends about some changes in the country had i had the power to do so :). hmm, what would my life be had i work in jakarta since the beginning, i wonder. anyways .. back to work with no mood to complete my own scheduled task. i've been slacking at work for the quite some time now. i guess i just feel that sometimes working hard here is useless, no acknowledgement, no appreciation. just more workload as they know you are capable of doing so. its time to change that perception, don't you think?
anyways *again* its few more days to the weekend. i'll be skipping gym today for a movie. i am still thinking of skipping it for the whole week. i'll be hitting the gym again next week - the launch week!! bisous

The Mystery of Life

another 30 mins to endure. my company is closing early today, hence we're only working 1/2 day. thanks to the new year eve that falls on weekend :)
things happen for a reason. our life, love, death has been written since the day we're born. few months back i wondered why everything turned out not to be as what i wanted. it seems like the only chance of happinness went away just like that. i couldn't help myself but wondered and of course with all the what ifs it made me felt that life seems to be unfair. i ended up having more conversation with my creator. lots of questions, uncertainty, and feelings were shared almost every night. eventually, i got some sort of answer. i accepted all the facts and enjoy my life responsibly again. once in a while i can't help looking back to the past, getting back on that lane again only to end up with more confirmation that i am given the best choice. after all, God knows what's best for me. and today everything is proven. had i still stucked in that lane, i would've been devastated upon hearing the news. the secret of life, indeed. bisous

Home For Holidays

in 6 hours time i'll be getting in a plane and flying home. to see my nephew. to see my niece, i'm sure she can do lots of things now that she's 5 mths old. and to top that up, my sister sweetly waited for me to be back home to do the 'cukur rambut' of my niece. or in my nephew's words 'nadia is going to cut her hair until botak'. can't wait can't wait ...
and to all my friends celebrating the lunar new year :-
xin nien kuai le, gong xi fa cai, happy new year!! oink oink ...

Detour ..

a friend spent the night at my place so that she could go to airport for her flight home today. i was still laying around waiting for the time to take a shower when the house phone rang. i was surprised upon hearing her voice when she's supposed to be few minutes aways from her hometown. sounding so upset she told me that she couldn't fly. why? the ticket was confirmed but her name was not in the list and the flight was full. she tried upgrading to business class but it is full as well. she got her ticket from muhibbah travel, the agency i've been using for the past 6 years. she was so annoyed as this is not the 1st time it happened to her - she encountered the same problem last year with the same agency. the only difference was she managed to get a seat after begging the staff.
she called me few minutes ago saying that she managed to get a ticket so she'd be flying to KL, waited for 2 hours there before taking the flight to medan. supposed to reach home at 8ish am now she'd arrived there around 4 pm. my goodness!! i know she's going to call muhibbah next, complaining and demanding for a refund. honestly, i believe she is partly to be blamed as well. i remember the agency calling me asking if i still want to get the ticket as they need to issue it by certain date. and i was puzzled when my friend kept on forgetting to call the agency asking them to send the ticket to her office. guess by the time the ticket is issued, the seat has been given to another passenger in the waiting list. anyways, she'd still be home today and managed to get a glimpse of KL for 2 hours....
oh, on another note - yiiiihaaaa .. my mobile bill this month is only $152. bisous

Too Late ...

few months ago boss called me and hp and talk about some security workshop. she asked who wanted to attend and i guess i was not in the mood so i said that i don't mind not attending it. i still couldn't escape it though as boss still asked me to attend the 3rd session, where it's just going to be a phone conference. so hp had to go and boss chose the new guy to attend it as well. only today when my colleague in the phillippines talked to me about it that i knew the workshop will be held in hongkong. i know i sound shallow and opportunist when i regretted my decision now but still the thought of having another chance of seeing a new place without spending your own money .. *sigh

8 is the new 10!

i've been hearing a lot of comments on my current weight - from work mates, friends, gym members, families. i've started to get back to my normal gym routine since last week. i even did my own weight training on friday and it was not bad. i just need to build more courage and pick up what i'd been doing during my training time. so last friday, on my way home i met one of the lady i used to meet in morning class. she tapped my shoulder, assess me before commenting on how big i am now. of course the 'you used to be slim, what happen to you?' question came next. then during weekends when i meet people i haven't met for quite some time, they too comment that i seems to gain weight, i told them yes - 8 kg. my families were surprise seeing me in skirt and i told them none of the pants can be worn now, you really gain that much? yes - 8 kg. this has been quite a standard question thrown to me for the last few months that i'm immune to them already and the answer came out without any second thought.
so when i woke up late for my morning class today, i decided to do my own training instead of joining the class later. i opened my training book to see what kind of training i should do later considering i did all the major muscles last friday. that was when i realised there's a measurement data at the last page of the book. in the first book i weigh 46.5 kg and 45.7 kg in the second book. well if that's the case i don't gain 8 kg but 10!! snap!

Friday Blurt

there's so many things to be thankful for this weekend. firstly, after weeks of communication the vendor managed to solve the problems. phew, hurray!! i don't have to come back to work tomorrow. i just hope boss doesn't call me when she's back at work tomorrow. had a sinful sinful lunch today. well it's a so-called thank you lunch for the d&d committee. food was great, and don't get me started with the dessert. yummy yummy. after the chairman left, few of us stayed back to continue enjoying the lunch and chatting. 3 hours of lunch - imagine that! i know i need to get back to work asap as i'm still communicating with the vendor on the recovery process, but i simply don't care. not that i take this kind of liberty that often, eh.
communicating with the vendor enables me to run skype, just for this case IT open it for me. but cin who's also in skype started chatting and chatting and chatting that boss finally told me to cut down chatting on skype to avoid IT asking questions. hehe, i feel bad but not my fault, neh.
tomorrow is saturday, yippee. the 1st thing that came to my mind when i really need to drag myself out of bed was that i could wake late tomorrow. i really can't wait. it is supposed to be a quite weekend but then this itchy me wanted to go to city to get things mom ordered. of course i can get it from somewhere near my place but i just feel itchy since i haven't been out on a shopping trip for ages. then i got to know that another friend will be doing the same thing, so we plan on meeting for dinner and movie. when all's settle i got a call that i need to visit someone's place tomorrow afternoon. i just hope boss didn't insist on me coming in tomorrow, now that the problem is settled and we have confirm the data consistency.
another cousin of mine will be leaving for dubai next week and we'll go to his place on sunday. blimey, two cousins leaving so soon. i also got a call from a friend i haven't meet for ages about a karaoke event on sunday. was quite lazy actually but felt bad on rejecting just like that, i said that i'd go only when someone goes, knowing that she won't go. but then i got a news that she'll be going. doh!
anyways ... there's so much to look out for this weekend, and everyday is a blessing in its own way - am i right? Happy Friday all, bisous.

Durian oh Durian

i am not a durian mania. i do eat durian, but normally 3 pieces is my max. back home, it's like a ritual for us to sit in a circle while dad opens the durian and we start to eat after that. though i only eat a few, i'll still sit together to help opening the durian and pass it over. even our cat, andres, joins the ritual and eat (or should i say lick?) durians just like us human. so everytime the durian tree at home bear fruits, i'll be the last person to feel excited. i just enjoy seeing it falls and seeing my cats sniffing at it.

that's why i find it strange when suddenly, out of nowhere, i have cravings for it. on my way home yesterday i ended up buying a pack of durian. $20! blimey. the seller insisted on me getting two pack when i myself was thinking of sharing that one pack with my flatmate. after insisting on just one pack, i texted my sis asking if there's still durian back home and if so, keep some for me. her answer? no more. i was quite surprise with my ability to finish the whole pack at one go. let's see if there's some explanation on cravings in the book i'm reading at the moment. bisous

The Blind Uncle

last week on my way home, i saw a blind man taking the same bus as me. nothing happened until we reached bedok interchange. i was alighting when i saw him again. a bit concerned as he looked a bit disoriented, i waited for him to alight first. well, he was disoriented - seems like he is blind recently. i told him to turn right instead of left but when he turned right i warned him a bit late, by then he already hit the pillar. i felt bad so i asked where he is heading to. since i only need to do a bit of detour i offered to send him there. honestly, this is my 1st hands-on with a blind. i hold his backpack in order to lead the way. it's a bit difficult so he told me to stand on his left so that he could hold me instead. well i went to his left and not sure what to do, i reached for his hand and walked hand in hand *grin. i was used to walking fast so i felt bad when i realised i kinda dragged him along. that was when i realised we were walking like a couple l0l. i let go of his hand and that was when he said, 'i'll hold your shoulder and you lead the way'. well, to cut it short i managed to send him to his destination and went home. my journey home somehow was a bit lighter, at least i did something good for someone even though we ended up like a couple strolling the bus interchange at first. ah, uncle - i wrote this 'cos somehow i suddenly remember you and wondering where are you now. i hope you get use to you disability soon.

The Insomnia Strikes Back

i am at the office now, i came early, i managed to do pump this morning, i didn't take a cab to the gym for this. it's all because i haven't sleep at all!! *groan
i guess it all started on friday when a friend called for a meet up. left the house few minutes before midnight and only slept around 4ish am. woke up late on saturday and when i was forcing myself to sleep early, a friend called at 11.30 pm. i was wide awake since then and could only sleep around 5ish. yesterday i had a big glass of coke and few glasses of pepsi in the evening. alas, i could only tossed and turned in my bed. killed my time by sending text messages to a friend. almost thought of heading to work around 4ish since i know NZ should already be in. my sanity won and instead i on the light and did some writing. left the room around 5 to make myself a hot chocolate since i've decided to go to the gym. i don't want to make a scene by passing out during class. alas, while waiting for the morning prayer i started to feel a little relax but it's too late to sleep!. so i did my prayer, went to the gym for pump but with slightly lighter weight, and now here i am - wide awake. arrrggghhhh

AGAIN!

the current problem in the firm made us came up with a solution to prevent this happenning again in future. of course this 5/6-months project means no long leave for the next few months *again. after doing my calculation, 5-6 months mean august when i was told the transfer would take place in july the most. can i argue here? i don't think so considering the transfer i requested is to the department where the partner is also in charge of our dept. postpone 'til when? i still don't have the guts to ask that now but still .. *sigh