October - a recap

Now that October is ending soon, I just want to recap the happenings in this month. I dare said that this is the month I made one of the biggest decision in my life - leaving a company I have been with for 16 years!
I was told yesterday that buddha asked if I confirmed am leaving this place - and he shook his head when the answer was yes. He admitted that I am the person who started this service offerings, at least he remembered that. Still sad if I think of that.
I started cleaning my desk yesterday and somehow I couldn't help feeling emotional. Who would've thought this day would come .. but it comes!

OK, accomplishment is October:-

• I QUIT my job - mixed feelings still, but I quit!!
  
• I finally signed up for 30 sessions of personal training aiming to look a bit good on my last day
  
• I have completed my photography course, now all I need to do is practice practice and practice
  
• I have booked the trip with my parents - after all I believe all the blessings I received are partly due to their constant prayer for my well being
  
• I am actually considering a trip for myself during the Deepavali break - hopefully the leave is approved; otherwise, :\

That's it .. I will recap my accomplishment at the end of every month - that way I can keep on challenging myself to do better.

And yes, I really want to be outstanding in my new place so that everybody realized how wrong it was to make me go .. I know a few have felt that, even the boss who held me back; but I just want to make myself proud of my own accomplishments in all aspects - relationship with the creator, family, life and love ...

all the best, me!

The journey begins

After years .. yes YEARS ... of delaying, succumbing to my laziness I finally took the plunge and committed myself to 30 sessions of personal training. Today was the 1st day and gosh, I was so amazed with how totally unfit I am. Even the trainer was saying that I am sooo out of shape :|
I asked if I can look good by end of November, he said NO! haha .. but we will both work hard and I will be fully committed to this.
As he said - I am not saying it's going to be, but let's make it worth it!

Joke of the day

so, year end review is finally released ... a month after we received our letter :D

Overall rating:
4 - exceeded expectations

Comments:
XXX has shown commitment and enthusiasm. 
She started to lead teams across the region. 
She done jobs from beginning to end with good outcomes and within time frame and budget. 
She can execute well and over come challenges. 
She has done very well at manager level.
We will like her to concentrate on building ZZZ brand and business development.

The following are areas that XXX can focus on to position herself to take on an SM role:
1) Be known for something in the firm and the market - self branding
2) Take initiative to step up to take the lead in a situation - leadership
3) Understand trends,market and competitive landscape - strategic thinking
4) External focus and proactive in business development - invent your future

exceeded expectations ... but no promotion
done very well ...             but no promotion
take on SM role ...           but no promotion

I would rather they tell me point blank that there isn't any headcount left for SM than telling me I haven't do any business development.

Hence my satisfaction of winning one before leaving this place ..
can't do BD? can't do BD what?
good riddance!

heart warming

"It's a loss to the firm"

"What are we gonna do without you?"

Those simple yet powerful words are very heart warming.
And that they came from the people who are practically new to this place makes it more precious.

Thank you for those sweet words ...

Bucket list - an update

so i haven't update my bucket list for SO long ..

let's update those that have yet to be accomplished and what I have accomplished from October onwards ;)

1. Lose weight - an ongoing never ending plan :'(
2. Bring mum and dad for yet another trip, this time around somewhere a little futher
3. 10K in 2015
4. Head back to french class
5. ACFE .. should I still do this I wonder.
6. Learn SAS
7. A trip for myself, crocodile in Darwin?

On another note, my accomplishments in September/October:

1. I QUIT MY JOB ..
    totally unplanned, totally unexpected but just gotta do it
    was an emotional wreck when I talked to the boss, but hey I have been here for 16yrs! it's not an
    easy decision *although i wish there is a time machine so i could be more ehm, professional*

2. Photography class ..
    after so long, I finally took the plunge and pretty happy that I can operate manual now, still LOTS       of room for improvement, but YAY

I M Possible

I jokingly said that maybe I'll return here when I'm offered a high post. And then a dear brotherly friend told that it could happen, that I shouldn't underestimate myself.

It's true - with hardship comes ease. with hard work comes result. nothing is impossible because i have a great God who turned all my wishes into reality. I just need to work hard to achieve it!

Emotional wreckage

Now that I think about it, I am an emotional wreck.
I shouldn't have shed a tear in front of the boss saying I'm not happy .. that I haven't been happy for months .. that I've decided to stop shedding tears for this company.
I can imagine him saying behind me to his 'partner' - 'if she's not happy then go la .. '
And I know they can't wait to see me fail ..

I will change ...
I will no longer shed a tears and I will no longer speak about my feelings
I will enjoy the next few weeks for memory sake
I will no longer complain or say anything, I will think 10 times before saying anything - no matter how upset they make me feel
I will move on
and I WILL prove them that I am happy out there

me and my emotion :|

Fume!

Fxck this place!!

Now they're telling me it is my fault that all these happened!!
Yeah right ..
it is my fault for being assigned to a counselor from another country
it is my fault that my counselor is very busy and had no time
it is my fault that the counselor spoke to the big boss and said things are tough for me when this big boss knows nuts about me
it is my fault that none of my own team .. MY OWN TEAM! speak up for me
it it my fault for everything

yeah right!
I will work dang hard to prove you guys wrong - it's your loss not mine!!

*can't wait to cut the ties ...

Mixed

I'm jealous of the way ... you're happy without me :|

Why do I have this mixed feeling about buddha?
one on hand i want to get out of this place, but on another hand i don't want to let go of buddha

Moved On .. soon!

God is great. God is awesome. God is PERFECT!!!

after months of desperation wondering if I could ever save what pride I have left, He gave me the answer - and they're all exactly as my dream!
so i have received the incentive i surely well deserved. and i also found a new job!
i told myself that if i earned a certain amount i will take my parents on a trip. and i got that exact amount!
i thought of giving the parents certain amount more, and guess what? after negotiating it, i received that certain amount more!

If this is not God's blessing, what it is?

I hope I don't burn the bridges here but as I said to everyone I want to move on. I need to move on.
What's waiting for me at the end of the tunnel? Only God knows and with what He has blessed me with, I trust him with all my heart and soul. God's plan is ALWAYS the best!