i did something for the first time today. i was being very very very honest about my feelings, opening myself up and not letting anything left untold, not even a single bit. i guess i feel that i wasn't being fair to the other party with my bits and pieces of thoughts that i sensed made each other wonders over certain issues. i spent like an hour writing it, a little proof reading for the grammar sake and without thinking twice, clicked the send button. i then went out for a lunch with the thoughts that this could either make or break whatever's been there. i am totally an open book but i know that i won't be judged. still, i was quite anxious on knowing how the outcome would be.
and so that was the first thing i did once i was back from lunch. and it work wonders!! all the uncertainties and wondering for the past few months were cleared. both parties actually had the same feelings and thoughts and even disappointments, when all that are actually signs of unspoken love and care *not in a romantic way though*. i have myself to be blamed for not letting all the things that are bugging me out in the open because that was the reason this kept on going for quite some time. i learned to be open, to be read, to be judged though i know i can count on not being judged, to let all my weaknesses out in the open, and i even admitted on being the things i never wanted to admit, not even to myself.
i am just happy and i feel very much lighter. i've learned to be more open even when i'm making myself vulnerable by doing so. i've learned to say the things i have in mind instead of just keeping it for the sake of not wanting to complicate things. i've learned not to be ashamed to show my feelings. i've learned a lot from this.
i am just so glad that i decided to let my innermost feelings out in the open.
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