People Pleaser

we had a guy joining us for tennis yesterday. since its only the 2 of us so why not. he turns out to be a good player. so we paired up to play against him. as usual, i felt a slight lack of confidence during the game. whenever my partner picked up the balls, i waited for her return instead of continuing the game with the guy. my partner kept on asking me to continue and practised more now that the opponent was much stronger.

this reminded me of another chat i had during bbq. a guy protested as i tend to spend most of the time during volley not running for the ball. i said i felt pressured especially if i ended in a competitive team, just afraid that i'd screw it up. one person said that he screwed it most of the time while the other one said that he even screwed in serve at times. jokingly he threatened saying that the next time he sees me not running after the ball he'd give me a spike.

so after the tennis session, i shared this with my friend. i kinda have the feeling that me being afraid to screw a game mainly due to me being a people pleaser. she agreed whole-heartedly, saying that i always give-in and it's just not right to do that all the time. she also advise me to start forgetting about the whole afraid of screwing things up and just concentrate on myself. hmm, a little bit difficult i have to say. i guess this people-pleaser thingo is just a normal nature for a middle child but well, i guess it's worth trying to ignore it.

so people, don't expect me to try to accommodate to you guys all the time. from now on, i think i'll try to please myself first ;) *sounds selfish huh*