Hole Everywhere

call me greedy but i'm always wanting to try something new. at least once. after all we only live once. already in line rock climbing before going for the level-2 certification, salsa, wakeboarding *i still want to be able to stand longer*, roller blading, and so many more. i give up ice skating for now but i want to try it some time in the near future. and now itchy me sent email to the dragon boat team who's aparently looking for more people for the race. i do have friends in the bono team, my 1st wakeboarding mates actually, but they practise twice a week. i'm not gonna sacrifice my combat, hence my reason for approaching the ballack team. and tada, the captain emailed asking for my particulars and gave me the schedule. eeerrkkk... i am still not sure if i want to commit myself here. so another white lies needed. i can't make it for the next 2 weeks, is that okay? hehe...
all these activities in my to do list, eh. not only it creates a hole in the pocket it also creates a hole in the head.

Fickle

i unashamedly admitted to the fact that i am that. i love risky activities but i am not prepared to risk my future. i sometimes judge things quick and often look at it from the worst case point of view, which is not good. i create my own problem with my wild imagination on things. i want to be out of something badly. but when given a choice i'd hesitate 'cos i don't want to lose what i already have. i want this but if continue pursuing it i might be missing the chance of getting that which could lead to the other that, though the other 'that' is still uncertain as well. i know that sometimes its best not to know things but somehow i ended up knowing it and getting myself in yet another self-created mysery. i often wonder, what i really want. when i think i found the answer i'll pursue it but when i'm close to it i'd asked myself do i really want that? sometimes i want things just because other people want them. sometimes i want things because other people don't want them. and sometimes i want things simply because i want it. life is simple and i guess sometimes i make it complicated with all the 'what ifs'. sometimes i want to achieve more, sometimes i'm just contented with whatever life present me. another cycle in my life.