u know when families and friends trying to fix u up with someone because they thought you never think of your future or because that you're not actively seeking for one?
well, it happens to me all the time..

once, i gave in but i guess you really have to follow your first instinct - don't feel that you have to make others happy if it certainly not what you want.

so everyone, if you were to introduce me to guys like the one in the pic below, trust me - from the bottom of my heart - I definitely will not object at all!!

who is this guy, btw?

yesterday, my worst nightmare came true

I was on my way back from the gym to the office, attending a conference call at 7 PM.
After my training, I filled my shaker with water n head back to office as the call would start in 15 mins time.
Planning on getting back to my desk to take the files n have some breads w/ my shake b4 heading up to the conference room.

Inside the lift, 17th floor and dukkk, n thats it!
My body shivered all over and i could feel tears in the corner of my eyes - apart from dentist, this is what i fear most.

Trying to be as calm as possible, i pressed the emergency button n the security guard told me to wait for 15 to 30 mins!! and the call is in 10 mins time - Im screwed!!
Lucky enough I could call my boss from inside n let her know that I was stuck so I might be late for I have no idea how long.

So there i was sitting in the corner, taking out my shaker n protein shake powder. Made myself the shake n enjoy it in the tranquility of the lift.
10 mins passed by when there's a sound from the speaker

speaker: ma'am, u still there?
me: of course I am, where do u think I can go
speaker: hold on ya, maintenance will be there in 10 mins time.

Few minutes after that, i heard some bangs - looks like they're trying to force open the door to no avail.
The lift kept on shaking that my mind wandered to movies where the cable was cutt off n the lift drop down.
Hmmm, 17th floor - will i survive it? what must i hold on to if that happen?
silent ... looks like they gave up to force open the door

Few minutes went by and suddenly there's voice from above of me asking if Im still there *stupid question* and asked me to hold on.
Suddenly the lift door opened and I jumped down of the lift n shouted that Im out. Finally!!

back to my desk, grabbed the files n bread, took a lift *again* up to the conference room.
knocked the door, smiled w/ the word sorry and sat down trying to listen to whats been discussed.
made a note here n there and 10 mins went by before the US counterpart said
"well, I guess that's it. You guys did a great job so far. Lets have another call in 2 weeks time, shall we say 10 of August? okay? good - see you then.. bye"

hah!

The question suddenly occurs in my mind...

Am I happy with the way I'm leading my life? Am I contented with what I'm doing now?
And I guess deep down inside I know what the answer is ... NO

I've been working in the same line for the past 7 years, yet deep inside me I always wonder if I could be doing something else better.
I know most people has a great career once they reached their 30s - me? I'll be stuck doing the same things if I don't move on.

Yes, there's a challenge in my current job, especially with the coming project.
But what will happen when its over next year?

I guess it's time for me to think of my future

A Big 'Thanks' To My Beloved Parents

I know that I should be grateful to have the parents I have but I've never been so very grateful of it until yesterday.

A story of my friend made me realise how lucky I am to be brought up this way.
Never in my life have I felt pressured by society though I know some might look at me n think I was old fashion, but I don't feel bad abt that at all.

What I know is that I stay true to myself and whatever I do is still within the bound of my religion and my parents' rules.

I have to admit though, there were times when I felt quite upset with how my parents rules n regulations made my space limited, especially during my teens.

I remember:

Back in secondary school, when my friends are heading to discotheque (Lipstick - I remember the name by heart) and me? straight home please...
I remember my friend asked me to pack my clothes n tell my mum that I'd be going out w/ friends to a mall when actually we planned to head down to Lipstick.
I was up for it - quite excited with the thrill of entering those kind of place - but when I was at home, the thrill is no longer there.
Im more worried abt the consequences of lying to my parents and I ended up calling my friend saying that Im not up for that as my respect for my parents is higher than my curiosity of going to that place.
Yes, she was upset but I felt happier afterwards.

Back in primary school, during our fasting months - some friends will just asked us to have a sip of water as our parents wouldn't be aware of that. Knowing how furious my parents would be when they found out, and especially, remembering their words that God is everywhere with you, I resisted the temptation.

Back in high school, I remember how I was quite annoyed having to call my mum to tell her I'll be home late 'cos my friend's gonna treat us and how my other friend said how lucky I was to have parents that cared for me, whereas her parents wouldn't even asked if she came home late at night.

Looking back to all these, I feel very bless for having a parents who raised me to be who I am today.
Though Im staying in a different country from them, they know all my movements n whereabouts.

Yes I do missed some 'cool' things during my teenage years, but I don't feel any regrets abt that.
I did experience clubbing, outing and stuff like that - but when I did it, I did with like-minded friends, so there's nothing to be worry abt;
furthermore my parents know about all these (yupe, they grumbled but hey, I'd rather they know the real me then finding out abt it from someone else).


Had my parents brought me up the other way, I might not be in front of this machine typing whatever Im typing now , I might not have the money to do the travelling I did, I might not have a chance to enjoy the luxury I can afford now.

So, mum n dad - thanks a lot!!
but trust me, I will still argue w/ you guys once in a while, way of spicing up your life there :)

last friday, I met soo many selfish people here - how I noticed? 'cos I'm d victim - sort of.

I was going for a detox program during the weekend, so I bought a lot of fruits on friday - afraid of starving I kinda bought more than I need. It was very heavy but since I'm planning to start saving more, I decided to take the train home instead of taxi.

Selfish act 1.
Left office 15 mins earlier to attend bodybalance. On my way to the lift I saw a lady going in so I was relieved 'cos she's gonna open the door and I can save some energy pushing the heavy door. I assume seeing how heavy the bag I was carrying, she would be kind and hold the door 'til Im out - like what I WOULD DO if I were in her place.
Surprisingly, oh sweet lazy skinny lady, she just stared at me with an ugly face. Apparently she's waiting for ME to open the door so that she can squeeze in. I looked her in the eyes, hell - I know this lady, and she just kept smiling at me and really squeeze in when I open the door. She had the decency of looking into my carrier.

Selfish act 2.
After my gym, I went home taking the train. It was my upper body training and my shoulders are killing me like hell, but still determined to be more cost-savvy I took the train home. Train was crowded as usual so I simply stand with the bags (gym bag and fruits bag) between my legs.
Once the train reached city hall (or is it bugis??), these 2 guys in front of me stood up. I was happy that I'd get a seat and before I even knew it, this couple from out of nowhere rushed to those seats. I was amazed and people ard me looked at me and we simply exchanged a knowing smile. The couple pretended nothing happen, though I noticed the guy looked at me and my carrier. I was soooo angry that I looked at him for the rest of the journey. Yes, Im not that tired that I need to sit desperately. But I was just so pissed of with how some people behave. I knew that he knew that I was looking straight at him that he barely looked anywhere else apart from his wife's mobile and the floor.

What is so difficult in giving up ur seat for those who needs it more than you do.
What if I fainted in the mrt - it happened before anyway - won't the guy feel guilty of stealing my seat?
I know I would...

It occurs to me that this couple may not be a local - hence, they have no idea what courtesy means.
It also shows that all the debates in the paper abt should people give up their seats for the elderly or pregnant lady in public transportation show how human can be so ignorant.

Can't they just imagine what if the person in need is their family members, their friends, or maybe themself in the future?
A friend of mine used to forbid her hubby from giving up seat for some pregnant lady by pretending to sleep.
When she's pregnant, she complained nobody wants to give up their seat for her - karma lady! thats what we told her...

I just simply can't understand these people.

Last saturday, on my way to city after the gym - I was so tired after attending bodycombat while on detox - that I saw an old lady entered the train from city hall. I ignored and get back to sleep, but I felt bad knowing that an old lady was standing while me, young (compared to her at least) and healthy, was sitting comfortably.
I gave up the seat for her and she smiled saying thank you to me.
I know its a small gestures but I believe she appreciated it a lot - I know I WANT people to do the same if that old lady happens to be my mom.

I simply simply can't understand how people can be so selfish.
I have to say though, back home - people in my country is not as selfish as people are here.
I guess cultures play a big role - I'd rather me unselfish than prosper but selfish.
come to think abt it - I'd rather be rich and unselfish :)