I believe in achieving anything in life such as losing weight, getting a promotion, finding the love of your life, learning, getting healthy, and anything that you desire. You need to take the first step to get there and then just keep moving forward. Before you know it, you can be at the top.
So for those stopping my move, watch me walk away!
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Saturday, July 25, 2015
CHANGE
I don't know what's wrong with me!!
I didn't do any hari raya visiting back home, not in the mood to meet the guest and basically just not into doing anything. I know part of it is due to what's happening at work .. I'm just not happy anymore. But the other part of it is due to my own fault - my confidence level is so low because of my appearance. I might not be in control for the things that happened at work, but I am in control of my own appearance!! I HAVE to make a change.
up until today, not only did I not meet my challenge of losing weight .. I gained more!! what is wrong with me??
The past week after heading back to work I have to face reality - the counselor of mine was in town. Though I tried as much as I can to avoid that topic he brought it up again and again. He was suggesting me to get away from here and try in another office for awhile, something I thought about before but I'm no longer in the mood. He asked me to let go of this shxtty year and think of the future instead, but how could I? This betrayal hit me deep down to the bone, this double standard .. I really can not accept it. No matter how busy I am, how occupied I am with other stuff, the minute this issue is brought up I got teary. Until when can I stay this way?
Honestly, when he's in town and brought me to meet potential client, involved me in pitching and all, I got motivated again, like I can see the future. But then I was hit back by reality - he no longer has control/power over me. The new guy with power is different from him. The reality is that the new guy won't involved me in any pitching. In fact, like what I told my counselor, I did more last year than this year. And yet I was told that I'm not ready. When I did more than my seniors. Simply because the new guy is new that he didn't see, hence didn't acknowledge my accomplishment. At times I ended up doubting myself. This is not healthy!!
But ...
No offer until today. Though I'm not giving up, I'm not settling either. When deadline arrives I have to make the final decision - move out, 'change level' or trying new place for 3 months. I cannot tell myself that it's okay to be treated this way again. I have to make the right decision - get out of this unwelcome place before it happens again.
On another note ...
I bought myself that beautiful simple piece of ring I have been thinking of. I am a happy lady. I decided to reward myself every now and then as a token of appreciation to myself.
AND
I have also decided that today is the last day of being a bum. I have to make some changes and be disclipine with it. Move around, clean the house now that the helper is not coming back and get back to the gym. My holiday is just around the corner and let's try to lose few kgs shall we?
69.2 kg today.
I shall report back in a week's time
I didn't do any hari raya visiting back home, not in the mood to meet the guest and basically just not into doing anything. I know part of it is due to what's happening at work .. I'm just not happy anymore. But the other part of it is due to my own fault - my confidence level is so low because of my appearance. I might not be in control for the things that happened at work, but I am in control of my own appearance!! I HAVE to make a change.
up until today, not only did I not meet my challenge of losing weight .. I gained more!! what is wrong with me??
The past week after heading back to work I have to face reality - the counselor of mine was in town. Though I tried as much as I can to avoid that topic he brought it up again and again. He was suggesting me to get away from here and try in another office for awhile, something I thought about before but I'm no longer in the mood. He asked me to let go of this shxtty year and think of the future instead, but how could I? This betrayal hit me deep down to the bone, this double standard .. I really can not accept it. No matter how busy I am, how occupied I am with other stuff, the minute this issue is brought up I got teary. Until when can I stay this way?
Honestly, when he's in town and brought me to meet potential client, involved me in pitching and all, I got motivated again, like I can see the future. But then I was hit back by reality - he no longer has control/power over me. The new guy with power is different from him. The reality is that the new guy won't involved me in any pitching. In fact, like what I told my counselor, I did more last year than this year. And yet I was told that I'm not ready. When I did more than my seniors. Simply because the new guy is new that he didn't see, hence didn't acknowledge my accomplishment. At times I ended up doubting myself. This is not healthy!!
But ...
No offer until today. Though I'm not giving up, I'm not settling either. When deadline arrives I have to make the final decision - move out, 'change level' or trying new place for 3 months. I cannot tell myself that it's okay to be treated this way again. I have to make the right decision - get out of this unwelcome place before it happens again.
On another note ...
I bought myself that beautiful simple piece of ring I have been thinking of. I am a happy lady. I decided to reward myself every now and then as a token of appreciation to myself.
AND
I have also decided that today is the last day of being a bum. I have to make some changes and be disclipine with it. Move around, clean the house now that the helper is not coming back and get back to the gym. My holiday is just around the corner and let's try to lose few kgs shall we?
69.2 kg today.
I shall report back in a week's time
Monday, July 06, 2015
Antarctica!
I've just registered myself for the 2016's Antarctica Expedition.
I've always wanted to go there and now that I found out about this, it's like a sign to really give it a try.
Praying hard that I will be selected for this once in a lifetime experience!!
I've always wanted to go there and now that I found out about this, it's like a sign to really give it a try.
Praying hard that I will be selected for this once in a lifetime experience!!
Mission *suck it up*
I realized the person who likes to complain to me is no longer talking to me; well she complains about her own best friend so what makes you think she wouldn't complain about me to others as well. She used to use me to be close to others and now that she's closed to them what more use am I?
OK, let's stop being negative.
Maybe she has decided that I am no longer the person to complain to because I too have my own complaints now that it makes her feel negative? I guess she doesn't realized her complaining has the same effect on me.
OK .. let it go and let's focus on the big picture - getting out of this place!
I realized that I am no longer the cheerful, positive person I used to be. I drag Monday, I don't talk like I used to, I am basically very down. Maybe it's my own doing because I really cannot accept the fact that my promotion is held back for a year because I haven't do what a senior manager was supposed to do when the senior managers themselves are not doing it!! all because of the new leader with new direction and unlucky me was the only one on a run for a promotion when he joins.
OK .. let's focus on the bigger picture: getting out of the comfort zone and prove them all wrong.
2 months to go before making the final plunge - mission sucking up starts now!
OK, let's stop being negative.
Maybe she has decided that I am no longer the person to complain to because I too have my own complaints now that it makes her feel negative? I guess she doesn't realized her complaining has the same effect on me.
OK .. let it go and let's focus on the big picture - getting out of this place!
I realized that I am no longer the cheerful, positive person I used to be. I drag Monday, I don't talk like I used to, I am basically very down. Maybe it's my own doing because I really cannot accept the fact that my promotion is held back for a year because I haven't do what a senior manager was supposed to do when the senior managers themselves are not doing it!! all because of the new leader with new direction and unlucky me was the only one on a run for a promotion when he joins.
OK .. let's focus on the bigger picture: getting out of the comfort zone and prove them all wrong.
2 months to go before making the final plunge - mission sucking up starts now!
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