Positive Attitude

tomorrow remarks my 13th year in this country. i might have not achieve all the things i want. but if there's nothing stopping me what's keeping me here? i'm still waiting for the answer to that.

meanwhile, enough feeling blue. enough feeling like a crap.

GET OUT. DRESS UP. WORK OUT. AND GET YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT!

(No) Way Out

i saw a picture of the drinks and my mind turned wild. i can't control what's going on and to be honest i don't even know if i would like it if the idea turns real. but i couldn't help it.

just yesterday i received something and i was close to getting crazy trying to decrypt it when it is just a plain simple one.

the last time i experienced it i told myself no i am not into it. but whenever i don't know what's happenning, the whereabouts i became nuts. and the sad thing is that i have no rights to know what's going on.

this is SO not healthy. i seriously need to find a way out. i seriously need to work on how to fulfill the promise i made to myself, parading it.

Random

watching a teenage series, i got this conclusion:- it's not the subject ... it's the idea that creates my non-stop thinking

and from a friend i got this:- God didn't give you who you want. instead God gives you what you need ... to teach you, to hurt you, to love you and make you exactly the way you should be

and yes, i learned!

Anger Management

i have been angry for so long that it scared me. isn't it amazing how some people can bring out the worst in you. my ex-boss told me once 'if you are not happy with how things are working, make a change, take an action. if you don't want to then just shut up'. he of course shut up for quite a while and then took the action. i remember that everytime i am faced with the one who bring the worst out of me. for now, i'll just shut up and keep my eyes on the long-term goal.
today i decided while staying in focus might be a little tough, why not make some short-term goal and keep your eyes on it without letting the long-term goal disappear! so yeah, i have few short-term goal i'd like to achieve:

• let's get back on the game of running: 5km. 10km. 15km. 21km. and back to the marathon with a better timing this year, please.


• let's aim on getting myself an international driving license, shall we?

let's focus on these two for now. and let's see whether or not i strike it off!

Again

it's closed ... again.
maybe this is a final sign. God's way of giving me time to adjust. and in few more days i'll make my final decision - i'm done with it!