A Little Prayer for You ...

when you miss someone so much and there's nothing you can do about it, just send a prayer to God; let Him be the messenger ...
God, you know what's in my heart, what i'm feeling now. please take good care of it, let it smile knowing that someone out there is thinking of it ...

Reach Out for the Stars

catching up with an ex-colleague during lunch time reminded me of my dreams. maybe it's time to head back to that path again after 4mths of side tracking. maybe that is what God wants me to focus on now, hence all the disappointment i've been experiencing. let's get back on track ...

The Art of Letting Go

had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday. him sharing how he went to depression and all couldn't help but made me think of the other person. could it be the same scenario? when i shared the incident, this friend of mine smiled and nodded his head. so they could be in the same situation. the only difference is that one tries to move on while the other one, i have no clue. no clue at all. part of me wish i could be there to lend a helping hand, but the other part of me reminded me that it will never happen. like this friend of mine said, the only person who can help you is yourself. i so wish i could be helping you if you are really in this situation, though ...

anyways, it's been more than a week since the last appearance.

sometimes it feels like a hide&seek game though somehow i always ended tasting my own medicine :?

is this God's answer my prayer? i don't know but i guess i had enough of this guessing game.

not my fault. and definitely not my lost.

time to move on to living a life that shines like a diamond (this i quote from bon jovi hehe)

Hold My Hand ...

i love this song!

no matter how far i might be ..
i'm always gonna be your neighbour ..
so let's pray for a beautiful world..
a beautiful world i share with you ..

2010

there's something about 2010 and my girlfriends - 2 weddings and now an engagement! i am SO very happy for them and i wish one day, soon .. soon .. the happiness spread to me too; slow but sure.
i am not ashame to admit that i don't want to be single forever. i am not desperate, but i think i have enough of singlehood.

TOUGH!

thank You God, for giving me yet another chance to come face to face with Ramadhan. thank YOU
last year ramadhan was quite a disaster for me, project made me spent the whole weekdays breaking fast at work as it coincides with the conference call we have. but of course, there was a blessing too. i had my 1st and 2nd interview during this holy month. interviews that brought me to where i am today.
this year i aim to be better than last year. i hope its not just an excitement that will go down as time pass by .. as i enter the 2nd 3rd and alas the last week. for that, i hope God give me the chance to complete the whole 30days, that i am able to come face to face with Syawal.
this year is also a test for me. i told myself that this is the time i should must use to forget that stupid idiocy i've been doing for the past 4months. i've broke a promise to myself last saturday by giving it another try. this time though, i think curiousity saves the cat from having all its 9 lives gone. it moved me from being curious to annoyed, or maybe even angry. after all the effort i put in, the pride i risk .. that's all i got? *fuming*
oh well ...
as i said, i've told myself this is the time to move on. it was easier said thand done, to be honest. i don't know but its tougher today compared to yesterday. maybe this is my test. but i know i have to. for my own benefit.
oh well, i don't know what i'm writing now .. better stop.

Random ...

life is simple, i just make it messy for myself ...

counting down to the days where i have to fulfill the promise i made to myself - move on, let go. no more waiting. forget it! tough i know but i had to, for my own good. to be honest, there's no one's fault to begin with. i was the one who fell into the trap, blindly. should've known better. oh well, move on ...

the agent emailed for decision. i don't know what to decide. i ended up telling him what i really feel. i just don't want to waste my money and my time, having high hopes and all only to get them all washed away. let's see what he'd say ...

sometimes you wonder what life has in store for you. but this morning, during the train journey to work i just realised that sometimes the life you want is not meant to be yours. sometimes, that kinda life is just not for you to experience it. God knows best, that's the only consolation i gave myself. sad, but oh well ...

my grandauntie passed away recently, my auntie might be in the midst of an operation now. the first one has no immediate family to grieve for her whilst the other has loads of kids to take care of her. i can't help but ask myself, what will happen to me in the old age - no one to pray for me when i die. no one to take care of me when i'm sick. i don't want this kinda ending but, how could i change it? i can't believe i'm saying this but i kinda give up on the hopes i used to have.

another 5 days ...
that's what i told myself - another 5days to move on ...