that skin deep thing...

to start this i have to start with my own story. 2 years back i was introduced to someone. he is educated, came from a good family with a strong religion background as well. since i knew my parents agreed on this introduction i gave a green light and started talking with him on the phone as he's still in the UK completing his Phd. few months after that i met him in person and i was totally turned down at the first sight of him. not that he was that appalling but its simply that he wasn't my type, or in my own terms, physically challenging. my sis was quite annoyed when i told her this and she kept on asking me to look at the mirror. i tried to overlook that and continue communicating with him though it was like a torture everytime i met him as thoughts always came to my mind everytime i looked at something that was not to my liking. you got to give me credit though as i really really made an effort here. anyway, to cut the story short it didn't work out and i told my parents all the reason to backed out and they took my side as well.
few weeks ago i met this couple who really surprised me as the guy is only 34 yet their first child is 10 years of age. the wife is simply sweet, typical indonesian lady. the guy, well though he was not that bad looking his teeth are. i couldn't help but wonder how she could end up with this guy. i have to admit i still look at the physical aspect of a guy when i met them for the first time. i know beauty is skin deep but i couldn't help myself not to look at that aspect of the opposite sex. hence i always wonder when cin made some comments on someone whom i think not that attractive.
back to this couple. so, i have been reading a lot of writings from the guy for the past few days. i have to say that he does make a good argumentation written in a good english as well. i'm beginning to admire his way of thinking and i guess that was what his wife sees in him, not the physical feature but what was in him.
so i started asking myself again, do i want to end up with some pretty face with an empty brain or someone with a brain though he might not be that good looking. i spent almost the whole day watching tv, cleaning the house, reading book while these 2 scenarios kept on playing in my head. i know i've been very shallow all this while and i couldn't care less until now. i'm beginning to look at things from a different view and understand myself better.
i guess perfectly imperfect is what you should be looking for - as you know, nobody is perfect.

sinful night ..
indeed it was!

reached ttn's place at 4.45, a bit late than promised. straightaway i helped putting the meat to the skewer. lucky few others came early so they helped us doing this and once we're done we went down to the bbq pit. some even went down earlier for swimming before the bbq. was quite surprise to see so much food prepared by ttn, apart from the normal bbq she still made tahu isi, kroket, and rojak complete with the indonesian style sauce. she even prepared sambal terasi for us. really gread organiser!
bbq itself was fun, the guys couldn't get the fire ready for quite some time but once the fire was ready, all satay, chicken, corn, sea bass, prawn were grilled by the guys while us girls *and few guys* simply sat enjoying the foods. i didn't know how much i ate but i felt quite full that i decided to stop and moved to the bbq pit and help the guys there. it was fun fanning the fire but at one point instead of fanning the fire we fanned the person on our right so it was quite a scene we made there, haha. i ended my meal with a bbq corn, ttn's sauce for the corn made it simply delicious. we then chit chatted until 10ish before started the cleaning, packing for those who wanted to bring the food back, before heading home.
it was a nice gathering and i have to give 2 thumbs up for ttn and hubby for their great hospitality *and food*. to think we only need to pay that small amount for that many food still amazed me.

new family members

remember the hamsters my younger sister have back home?. as usual whenever i called home, my nephew will tell me all sorts of things that happen. few weeks ago when i called, he told me about the fight these hamsters had. in his own words "the white on so naughty, she fighting with the black one". got the full story from my elder sister that apparently he's trying to stop the fighting by hitting the cage with a remote control. few days ago my sis told me that apparently her friend said that wasn't a fight but that was how hamsters mate. this morning when i called home my nephew answered and brought the news to me "hey, you know the black one have baby". 10 new baby hamsters who's size are like peanut. mom said "i'm going to congratulate your younger sis on being a grandma when she's back home later". that makes me what? a grand auntie?!?

have you stare lately?

a caucasian lady was complaining of being stared quite rudely everytime she's out of the house. she said no one would seat next to her when she's taking a train or bus ride. well, mind you she's staying far from city and does what local people do. she does her marketing in the wet market, have her meal in the hawker centre, and all other normal stuff. she was getting offended by all these. i remember meeting her in the supermarket and people did stare at her. after her comments, all other caucasian chipped in saying they do experience the same especially in countries like indonesia (!) and china. surprisingly, india was ruled out as people do stare but they respect you and still want to sit next to you.
i remember during my high school time on my way home, 2 caucasians took the same ride with me and the driver kept on telling everyone there were 2 bule inside his mikrolet. the caucasians looked at me and asked what he was talking about. so i translated it for them and their next question was "why did he say that? i don't see anything wrong with that" i forgot what my exact answer was but i think i told her that you seldom see foreigners riding public transportation in this area and added that it's just the driver's stupidity here.
i wonder now, do we asians really look up to caucasians until we feel so intimidated to be around them? truth be told, i used to distance myself as well as i know my english is not perfect but i think as i grow older i don't see anything wrong with that and they are simply human being, nothing different from us. i started to open up whenever my parents friend come to our house and just chat with my own style of english. i mean, if they can't afford listening to my english then it's their lost not mine. right?
i know people who feel intimidated by caucasians are mostly those not so educated people, but i'm not surprise to find educated people feeling the same as well. i believe it's all in the mentality of each individual. there is no race that is above another race, we are equal in God's eyes.

word verification ..

there's this wheelchair icon in blogger for word verification when you're leaving a comment. i know it's meant for the disabled people. i just wonder what if blindness is the disability? how could he/she see the icon? okay, blind people might not be blogging. but then i hover the mouse over it and the smart tag said 'click on the icon to listen' or something like that .. isn't this meant for the blind????

such a waste

went to orchard to get myself a bottle of moisturizer and since i was there, 2 packs of batagor as well. while waiting for my taxi to arrive, judging from my side glance the guy standing next to me was quite interesting. so i looked at the tents across the road from right to left, when it reached left i took a quick glance - yupe right, quite nice looking caucasian. naughty me wanted to have more glance on him but as usual i wouldn't be caught dead looking at someone else. so i start assessing what i like to see in a guy starting from the bottom. shoes , very nice snake skin brown coloured show, oops, there was the 1st sign. tie , from the corner of my eyes it looked like a goldenish yellow silk tie. cufflinks, checked. before making the final judgement i took another quick glance at his face. confirmed!! i wonder - why do all the good one is either taken or gay :-?

weekend is just few hours away...

surprisingly we met krn last night in the networking thingy. of course, took the opportunity to ask about him being absent for quite sometime. but now the world cup was over he could be starting it again. for me this network thingy is more like catching up with regular faces on a monthly basis instead of networking, well anyway i'm not in the business line, hence no need for that.
it's friday and i simply can't wait for the day to end so that i could go home and spend my time watching tv. yeah, i'm making a habit of going home early on friday night simply to catch my superhero on tv. watching tv and doing my office work during friday night has become something i enjoy. i even choose not to attend my favourite instructor class for this, imagine that!
hope to get myself to the gym tomorrow as it will be jun's last combat class in raffles. she'll be switching class with another instructor and i hope i could do her capoeira class in orchard starting next week - lets see. the journey to orchard itself already damp my spirit, let alone the thought of carrying my shoes with me.
speaking of saturday, i wonder what's with singapore and BBQ. already 4 BBQ parties going on tomorrow. a friend is having a party at her condo, another group is having a birthday celebration in sentosa, marc is leaving singapore and having a BBQ farewell party, and now my senior back in uni is having a BBQ as well. i can imagine 4 different groups of people are going to have fun at the same time tomorrow. wouldn't it be great to be present in all 4 gatherings? but then i'll just go the ttn's place as i promised her 1st.

how do you hold on to someone you've never met?

"One man I can never met. Him I would like to give my whole heart to."

well, i guess when you're destined with someone you will end up with this someone.
nevertheless, even a silly romantic like me know that this wouldn't ever happen in the real world..

WAKE UP!!

went for weight training during lunch time. as usual my trainer was speechless when i told her this was my first weight training for this week. even when she lightened up the weight i was breathless and already shaking in the first few sets. she only commented that my cardio and endurance was slipping way way down.
told her about my frustration this morning. how i felt like crying when the only blouse that fits me has a gap in between the buttons. after the weighing session she only looked me in the eyes and asked "do you remember the time when i have to stop you from hitting the gym 'cos you're doing too much?". yeah, those were the days when i played hide and seek whenever i did more classes instead of following her advice to take a break. those were the days when she kept on complaining that i was not eating enough. those were the days when i could simply choose anything to wear from my wardrobe. those were the days when i could join any gathering and select a good meal instead of being tempted with whatever sinful on the list. those were the days when i treasure my weekends as it was the time for me to reward myself with a sinful indulgence.
i went back to the office with her question hanging on my mind. even my friend back home asked if i didn't feel sad all my effort was gone just like that. from 42 to 46 to 49 and now 53, from size 0 to i don't know what size i am now. i wonder why i couldn't be the old me that woke up early every morning to prepare my own breakfast, that spent the weekend doing marketing and planning on each and every meal.
at the time i started blogging i wrote down my hope of achieving a healthy weight and instead of blogging about it, my story here was more on my way of becoming a bigger me. i hope this time around it's a worth wake up call for me, especially that my training package is over soon - calling for action

combien tu m'aimes?
how much do you love me?

can love change whatever motive you have initially?
can love conquers everything?

typical french movie :- the plot, the humour, and of course the open ending...

food food food ...
current state: very hungry!

it's the food fare period now in singapore and this year around surprisingly there are lots of tents selling foods in the CBD area. it was quite fun seeing the office area turn into a mini pasar malam during lunch time.
i was tempted to try some of the food and was quite excited to find some of the stalls were still open when i'm done with my gym last night. i have found someone who's interested to get something from here later. seems like everyone is rushing for the popiah stall, otah stall, and the famous ramly burger stall.
hmm, can't wait to get my hands on the chilli crab and prawn otah.
updated at 1.30 PM
woh .. after queueing for almost 40 mins i got my chilli crab and squid otah, prawn is out of stock. jn & hp bought nasi lemak while i bought a piece of popiah. not bad ..

tv addict

mon:-
my wife and kids, still standing, desperate housewives, grey's anatomy
tue:-
one tree hill, csi, criminal minds
wed:-
rockstar:supernova, at times singapore idol, whatever good on cable
thu:-
rockstar:supernova the result, singapore idol result show (sometimes), lost
fri:-
smallville, charmed, ghost whisperer
sat:-
the bold & the beautiful, whatever good on cable
sun:-
the bold & the beautiful, whatever good on cable, oprah

yeah, i'm still the same old me..

miss you ...

talked to my nephew yesterday. apparently the hamsters were too difficult for him to handle that my dad bought him fishes instead. he is totally responsible for these fishes but i guess it was not enough that he ended up having two turtle to take care of. heard that he would bring them everywhere he goes, haha. i asked him about this yesterday and he was quite excited telling me about them though when i asked him to send me pictures of them his answer was "you come here then i show you". he named them angel (after his favourite teacher i reckon) and the other one bucy (that's what my little sis call me). at first i thought it was urfi that i asked him again and his answer was "no, it's you ucy .. you" - that was when i realised it's my name - thank you for that little one!
this reminds me of a story my sis told me long time ago. when my nephew was being scolded by his father, he went to his mom for protection. but his mom said that she couldn't help him as he was naughty and deserved to be scolded at. my sis said he went to his room, picked the picture taken with me and cried silently calling my name. *so cute*
suddenly i miss him and want to go home simply to hug him.

families...

my sis was in town just for one night, hence she wouldn't be able to visit all the uncles and aunties here. i only took her out to visit my dad's brother who's very old and our grand auntie who was recently discharged from a hospital. the rest? she simply called to say hi as i guess that's the least courteous thing she need to do.
today my uncle came to see her with his whole family. my sis was quite overwhelmed by this as she's only here for a night. i was happy as well as finally my cousin helped fixing my wall clock - thanks, ghaz!
i was thinking of not sending her off to the airport but i changed my mind when i learned that my aunties were going to the airport to send her off. my uncle, who's wife is sick, at first didn't plan to send her to the airport but changed his mind when seeing the things my sis had to carry home. so there we were 8 people all squeezed in his car to the airport. once we're at the aiport i was overwhelmed with the number of people there. apart from aunties, there were cousins, cousin in-law, little niece and even a future cousin in-law. all these simply to send off a girl who only spent one night here. i guess blood is blood, however it is everyone will try to be there for everyone else. i know my sis was happy seeing the crowd that she said it's like going for a pilgrimage.
i always value families - my parents taught us this since we were young. hari raya celebration normally runs for a month for us as we would visit all families including those staying in bogor. with daddy getting old, we cut all this down but we still have to visit those that is older than us even when they're younger than my parents. my parents insisted on all these and me being here means i have to do the family visiting cum hari raya or attending all the weddings simply as my mum put it "if you don't want to know your family, who will help you when you are down, who will come to your funeral?". as harsh as it may sound, i see a good point in it. though sometimes it's quite annoying that the wedding duty also applies to her friends here, such a social person mum is.
so to all my families - i treasure the strong bonding we have.

INXS

though im not a big fan of this group, i am quite curious to watch their live performance especially after watching the reality show to choose their new front man. now all i have to do is to search high and low for someone who might be interested as well. chances of finding one? slim

oh my...

was having a good dream when the house phone rang. early in the morning, mind you. staying far from home always made me worried when i receive early morning or late night calls. i suspected it was one of my aunties or even my sis who's coming today. it was my sis, still annoyed that my dream was cut halfway *though i forget what was i dreaming about now* i kept on saying hello when she on the other side kept on talking to her friend and then put the phone down. sigh, tried to continue my dream but it's useless. then my mobile rang and the same thing happened. then my house phone rang and then she said she could hear me.
already feeling alerted, i simply toss and turn killing time, thinking of the route to take later when accompanying my sis visiting the elders. a message came in my mobile. the domestic helper who's supposed to come at 10 AM later couldn't make it as she was not feeling well. aargh, already enjoying the thought of having someone else to clean the house and do my ironing, now all back to square one.
woke up and made myself a modified enchiladas, sans any meat. put it a bit too long in the microwave that the cheese and sauce came out covering the whole plate.
talking about a great way to start the day, eh...

the rich and the poor

friday night, reached home late for my hero on smallville. went online straightaway as boss assigned me a task from faraway to emailed someone in the US office as she left her adaptor in the classroom. i was supposed to ask her to retrieve it and hand it to our field consultant who's still there. instead of emailing, i sametimed the person and when i waited few minutes without any reply, i emailed her. by then our field consultant was online so i sametimed him and pass the message as well. what do you know, he's already in the UK! lol. so then we asked the admin lady there to ship the adaptor for us. when another workmate of mine was online, i told her the story. i was telling her my thoughts on what would my boss excuse be on monday when she needs to borrow an adaptor from IT knowing how stingy IT was. her response was 'oh, she brought her network adaptor. what she left was the 2 pin plug'. COME ON!! so much hassle for something you can easily buy here. sigh, i guess that's the reason i can never be rich, eh!

weekend again ...

yeah, finally it's friday again. they said time flies when you're having fun, well i'm not having fun but time does fly, simply feel blessed that i'm alive. nothing much to write actually, just stopping by. well .. going for my time off later but not as expected, eh. boss replied simply saying "ok, time-off". with this i feel bad if i continue doing other stuff instead of going back to office once i'm done with the doctor appointment.
meeting cin and probably sal as well for lunch and guess what? we're heading to carl's jr again! geez, so much for my "healthy lifestyle starts this week". sis might be dropping by tomorrow on her way back from the phillippines, still not sure though.
hmm .. better get back to work now.

rock vs pop

2 shows on TV last nigt, both airing at the same time. one is on 5 while the other one is on cable.
both are reality show looking for new talent, one to be the next idol and the other one is to be the frontman of a new band.
comparing the contestant are like comparing heaven and earth.
for idol - the only thing i like is hearing the judge, flo speaks. she has such a good voice, very calming. i don't think the other judge, ja, ever makes sense with her comments. really blonde! the contestant - i just couldn't stand rahimah's appearance, so yesterday - kapish!!
for rockstar - i love the performance. it's like going to a great concert. for now my vote goes to dilana, such a mesmerizing voice.

waks...

since the project will go live on october i decided to pull myself out from the D&D committee and being a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding. why? well, i think it's better not to commit myself into something that is important if i can't give 100% of me in it. hence i couldn't believe i let myself in *again* to the committee. though i told the HR girl to give me something very easy, i ended up being involved in invitation and sending so-call updates to get the people excited. i am good in words when it's in bahasa - but english? well, i'd better get myself acquainted to whoever this girl i will be working together with.
on a happier note, i solved the problem!! phew, spending almost the whole day - okay 1/2 of the day - looking for the problem when it's only a matter of "R" - interface not inteface, eh!!
my cough is getting worst, i think i'll just do 30 mins of x-trainer today. my whole body's still aching from my monday pump, hence no weight training for me. though i had a huge HUGE lunch, i'm beginning to put myself back on the right track. signing off now - ciao

love email for my boss

hi j,

i need to see a doctor this coming friday and my appt. is at 1 pm.
i need your permission to take time off and if it's late i might need to take 1/2 day instead.

regards,
n

will she say yes? you betcha!!
hmm, what movie should i catch? *evil*

::fat and trap::

went out for lunch with with hp and jn. have been wanting to go to this place for so long that i forget about my healthy lifestyle and had a huge lunch instead. the portobello mushroom burger was nice and the criss-cut fries was crispy. spent quite sometime there chit chatting until we decided to make a move to check out our future office building.
yeah, my company is moving to another building in batches starting from november. due to the project we will be the last batch moving there, probably next year instead of end of this year. on our way to lunch we realised that the underpass that link the mrt to the new building was open hence we need to check it out - talk about being singaporean, eh. it was nice with bright colours and truth is i couldn't wait for us to move there.
one the way back we noticed the new link to our current building was opened as well and decided to take that path instead, though we need to make one big turn as due to all this work, our current building closed the front entrance. its quite funny as there's only one escalator up but what the heck we went up. was quite surprise to see quite a number of people in front of us waiting to exit the place. apparently the glass door was not operating yet and we were trapped. i am a bit claustraphobic and i began to feel panic though i remained calm. i couldn't remain calm when i saw more and more people taking the escalator up that i started to shout at them saying 'don't.. don't.. the door is locked'. too bad that some of them tend to look down when they took the escalator that they realised the problem when they're halfway up. oh my God!! luckily after few minutes of waiting someone opened the door for us from the outside. i guess it's one of their staff and we were out again. Geez!!

boring or loyal?

when i bought my breakfast this morning *wholemeal chicken delight* the lady said 'i haven't see you for quite some time'. feeling bad telling her that i went somewhere for breakfast as i wasn't leading a healthy life last week i simply said that i was on leave. she then told her staff to get the sandwich for me.
i begin wondering about all other things that i'm so accustomed to even other people is aware of it.
at another place where i frequent buying my breakfast, the staff simply look at me and point her fingers asking for assurance. once i nod my head she will shout in chinese 'wholemeal toast tuna egg mayo small'. she even told the rest of her workmates that i ordered the same thing and informed the rest who then looked at me and nodded. so it's simply a nod from me to get my breakfast there. everytime i go out with friends and knowing that i don't take any alcoholic beverage they will looked at me and said 'the usual?' and when i nod a 'you're so boring' or 'you're so predictable' comments would be out. whenever i go out with friends and they need to go to the bar to order drinks, without asking me a diet coke would always be in front of me. when come to foods, well this is fine if i'm predictable as they know if it's not halal certified i'd settle with seafood. and of course the 'no calamari here girl' comments will be heard here and there.
my daily fruits at the office are the same *jambu and starfruit, cut together with powder* that the seller simply look at me and smile knowing i'd be ordering the same thing.
even the food stall across my house kinda know what my order would be that he simply looked and nodded at me, i only need to nod back to get my chicken chop without fries prepared.

hmm .. am i that predictable when it comes to things i like?

something light is good...

went home early and was quite happy that the movie i watched halfway few weeks ago was playing on cable. something light and a bit silly - but yeah, i kinda enjoy the movie. funny how people will do anything just to be on top.

all the guys i've dated couldn't match the inner goddess in me...

rambling

its tuesday. my whole body's aching from the pump i did yesterday. the system is still not up as the vendor kept on patching the wrong stuff. boss kept on sending emails asking this and that. HR people is getting on my nerve for sending the wrong data for what? 5 times and it's only morning. my colleague can take and is on leave *lucky her*. reflection cannot upload multiple files by simply selecting the symbol '*', hence some workaround is needed. need to submit some analysis to the international office by friday but the system is still down when i need 2 days the least to prepare everything, still thinking of an intelligent excuse written in proper english for the possible delay. this time difference made lots of 'when you said monday, is it your monday or our monday?' question. 2 more hours to lunch and i still can't decide what to eat or should i go down to city and get my stuff then. hmmm...

oh, bugger!

the problem with internet is that you could surf anywhere, browse anything and see things you don't have the intention of finding and end up wanting. anyone going to germany in the near future?

::wish me luck::

i'm trying my hand on something new, something that could fulfill my plan a little bit faster. i hope it goes through...

estúpido

just found out that instead of fixing the problem, the vendor deleted 393 rows that caused the discrepancy of 75K! bollocks!!

prepare to die ..

work was such a mess today. year-end closing yet one of the extraction had problem. spent almost half of the day trying to figure out the problem that i finally called the vendor and investigated it together. though we argued for quite some time as he insisted it's the memory issue and i was pretty sure it was some data keyed wrongly we decided to trace it by running per org. structure - imagine that! he said problem solved and when i asked for more explanations he said he would emailed all the things he did on monday. ok understand, being in new zealand meant it's already night there and he wanted to go home. everything was okay until around 4.30ish when bl realised that the wip figure was not balance - out by not 10, not 100ish but 75K! and its our year-end closing! dang dang dang!! so me, bl and sn turned ourselves into finance people figuring the formula used to calculate the closing wip balance but we couldn't came out with one and asked finance to assist us. 2000 more records need to be traced and we were kinda feeling frustrated already. i haven't even touched my boss' job that i was supposed to do let alone mine. i then sound my frustration, asking why must boss flew today when the workshop is actually on tuesday. well, what else would you do in NY other than shopping eh, especially with her sis-in-law leaving there. but still it was so very frustrating that 3 of us decided to knock off and face all this again on monday as we need to get our vendor to list the engagements he touched. imagine come september when we have to cater for the new system as well, when closing of the current system is on sept 30th and we have to start our live conversion for the new system on oct 3rd. prepare to die man!!

speechless

you asked i answer, with all the neither here nor there questions i answered all sincerely. then you came to the main subject and once i answered you're gone. and you still wonder why your friends don't give a damn about you anymore. my God! i'm beginning to see what your friends saw in you

superdead?

boss is going to the states again, this time around for the t-minus session. tomorrow is our final year-end closing. as expected, all her stuff falls to me. sigh, i normally spend the whole day doing my own stuff during the month-end closing which doubles come year-end closing and now i have to cater hers as well. looks like i have to do hers tomorrow and mine on saturday. sometimes i wonder what is the point of her having an asst. manager. yes it's operational asst. manager but still ...
okay she did called me in on tuesday expressing her exasperation on the asst. manager and another colleague of mine. being a staff, i simply listened without saying a word - i am after all a staff. i know she's afraid i'll leave the company in the midst of the project, hence the assurance she gave. she also said that she could only rely on me and hp for all the stuff.
i don't hold any grudges and i think she knows that, hence the reason my job list getting longer and longer. i just feel that she should delegate some of the stuff to the others as well. i guess i really have to learn to say no, or maybe throw tantrum so that she won't give me anything new? naaah .. not me.
well, i promised myself to be happy - so i'll look at this as a challenge and a sign that she knows she can count on me. though i think me doing her job means me entitled to part of her salary, hehehe

on strike...

i'm getting restless night again. and this time it's due to over rest, i reckon. my body was screaming at me asking to be brought back to the gym. i was lying in my bed yet all i could think of was how great it would be had i did combat or a 30 mins x-trainer. i guess once you're used to it you are addicted.
fret not oh body of mind, starting next week (yeah, i'm sick of hearing this again and again as well) i will give you the joy of adrenalin rush and heart pumping exercise could bring.

::what women want::

this is what posted in the ladies here for this week:-

ENTHUSIASM - A MAN CAN BE SHORT AND DUMPY AND GETTING BALD, BUT IF HE HAS FIRE WOMEN WILL LIKE HIM

hmm, really??

what if - A WOMAN CAN BE FAT AND UGLY WITH THINNING HAIR, BUT IF SHE HAS FIRE MEN WILL LIKE HIM

you think so?

GUTEN MORGEN

went to bed before 9 last night as i still felt a bit tired from all the late nights during world cup. though i went to bed around 9ish on monday i still felt sleepy yesterday. hence, i decided to skip the gym *again* and went straight home. had a huge meal as well complete with a glass of iced milo. woke up early feeling refresh but still tossing and turning around when mum called and had a nice short chat with her - love you mum!
i suddenly felt so much energy in me. i guess my body is fully recharged now after 2 days of total rest. i just feel sooo happy without any particular reason to be that it reminds me of my friend's word "happinness is a daily decision". i totally agree with her and i think i want to be happy everyday. another friend told me "don't be mad over small things" and i totally agree with him as well.
from now on i decided to be happy and not going to make small things that annoy me to be a hindrance. we are the one who is in control of our life (well, of course God is but i'm talking about emotional control here) and we are the one who can decide if we want to be happy or sad over small matters. and i decided that i want to feel this way all the time - it feels sooo good!

3ooth entry...

can't believe it myself! i guess that's how talkative i am...

after reading juwi's latest entry i can't help myself but smile. indeed, life is like riding a roller coaster. few years ago a friend shared her romance (can i call it that?) life, few months ago (and maybe still here and then) i shared my stupid dreams, and now another friend is having her share or "lovely happily" life.
do you realise that when you're face with it and things don't turn out as what you hope for, you wish that you're not caught in that situation. once you're out of it you feel happy getting back to the normal routines of your boring life. but then, when someone else's is in the same situation you start wishing to be in that situation one day. life is strange, isn't it...

Monday!!

woke up late due to world cup - my gosh, zidane really lost his coolness there. anyway's i am happy that germany took 3rd place, though ballack was not playing i am still happy. decided not to go to the gym today, gonna spend tonight eating well *grin. another excuse for delaying my heatlhy lifestyle program. but i really need to catch some rest after all these late nights.
went out for sal's dinner on friday. it was quite a nice dinner and the food was incredibly awesome. the naan was soooo soft, definitely a place worth re-visiting. decided to call the night off early as everyone had quite a long day on saturday. went to the actors awhile and then off we go. promised sal that me and cin would come to her birthday bash organised by the canto group.
went to my aunt place on saturday afternoon for the engagement party. too bad i had to go back to the office in the evening *so much for me not needing to go back to work eh* that i left as soon as everyone went to the girl's place. anyway i covered my aunt's place - this is what's important. went to the office to check few stuffs than met cin n jen for the mega combat. it was awesome!! 2 muay thai tracks and few of my favourite tracks were being played. its more tough doing combat outdoor that i simply panting halfway through, the huge meal i had earlier didn't help either. met quite a number of cali members as well and we kinda ded what we normally do in class, support each other's shouting and choreograph. fun fun fun! - jen was out of breath, kekeke think it was quite tough for her.
went home for a short rest before heading down to attend sal's birthday. it was nice night out. though i only join this group for special occasion, i really enjoy being amongst them - such a friendly, warm, and caring people they are. i remembered they celebrated my birthday in ubin which really touched my heart. the place was good, though the music was not much into my liking. wondered why there's such a rave over this place even when we're walking home few people were asking the direction to this place. and it was great pleasure to see the other side of sal as well. spent most of the time with cin and keith - guess 'cos we were the only non-canto speaking in the group that we sticked together *lol*.
went home early 'cos there's ballack to catch - what do you know, he was not playing due to the calf injury...

work is so darn hectic. i really concentrated on my job yesterday that i ignored emails and chats and i was satisfied with the outcome. all my interface runs smoothly, including the automation and nested xml problem solved!!
today i thought of continuing with some stuff but what do you know. boss is going to the states for another meeting during the year-end closing next week. alas, all her stuff falls to me. since today is the first closing, she wanted me to do all instead so that come year-end i should be able to do it smoothly. sigh, there goes my plan on completing datafeeds. there goes my plan for gym prior to sal's birthday dinner.
seriously, everytime i am faced with finance stuff i felt floating all the way - with all the analysis, GL, journal, write off here, write on there i feel i'm now in lala land.
supposed to come back to work tomorrow to check on the preparation of conversion. when boss said everyone's happy that they're not coming back tomorrow i interrupted saying i still had to. i was not involved in conversion yet i had to prepare everything for it when actually someone else from the conversion team can do it, eh. of course i didn't tell her that but i added that i'd wake up early, come in and make sure everything is fine then go home and continue my sleep again. she smiled and said "nevermind, make sure everything is scheduled fine and list it down - i'm coming tomorrow to pick up some stuff, why not i check it for you. just make sure your handphone is on" hurray!!
happy happy happy me! - now i simply need to make sure everything works perfecto!!

eits ...

i'm supposed to start Ingres but accidentally came in here without having anything to write. anyway since i'm here what to write ya? hmmm .. nothing actually.
ah, went for some quick shopping last night. there's an engagement event to attend to tomorrow yet i have no clothes that fit me now, so saad. this should be a wake up call that i seriously need to lose some fats. haiz, tomorrow's engagement's going to be another q&a sessions for me i suspect - especially that my cousin who's going to be engaged is child of the 80's!!

very very sleepy...
yaaay .. there goes c. ronaldo. thank you france! good job zizou!!
woke up just in time, to switch on the TV sit a while and saw the goal, perfect!
actually come to think of it, this ronaldo looks a bit like indonesian singer - ronny sianturi, eh.
well actually its more like ronny sianturi looks a bit like ronaldo.

sal's birthday is coming soon. we decided to have a dinner together for this. i thought it would be great if we continued by going to the actors where cin, jen, ally, and myself get on stage and sing her a birthday song. great that everyone is game for it. yeah!! can't wait to see the expression on sal's face! can't wait for the dinner itself, its been awhile since all of us meet together with all the travels each of us were doing.

finally, i watched my much anticipated movie. been in love *blush* with superman since i was a kid. called me a dreamer *i am though* but the thought of having a guy like superman is simply heart warming. in chloe's word "my own personal superhero".
call me a drama queen, but this is what i felt about the movie...
i was moving in my seat once i heard the opening theme and started to put myself in louis lane shoes. just the "are you okay" in the beginning part of the movie already made my heart felt sooo warm and my eyes watery. i felt for him as well when he heard louis' confession to her life partner that she wasn't in love with him. how heartbroken he was that he immediately flew up and concentrate on saving the world. then the "my lost" made me feel suffocated. imagine yourself being superman looking at the girl you love and said that word. of course the "i'm always around" is simply sweet as well.
love aside, the film was okay - after so much tv series on my hero, it is great to finally watch the movie version. though i was quite disappointed that they changed the story line *come on, a kid?* i am glad they keep something original, like him going to the sun to recharge himself. i'm still wondering why they didn't do the doomsday storyline instead. villain wise? not that villain, more like a joker!
clark wise, though his eyes are not as piercing as reeves, he is good. and he definitely has a great body.
now i simply need to wait for the dvd to complete my superman movie collection. and i'm glad cin is still jet lagged that i promised to accompany her watching it again one day, aiming for the 3D show now.

bye Germany ...

so you've lost from italy. used to like italy but no more maldini to make me root for them this time around. and i normally root for country who was the runner-up, anyways .. bye ballack. it was a good game and just 2 minutes after the penalty hope you guys lost. if only it was down to penalty, you guys had a great chance. ah well, fact is you guys lost hiks hiks ..
tonight - skillfull players vs fast players - i wish france win .. simply hate ronaldo's attitude!

the expression on ballack face after the lost - priceless

i received a letter - handwritten - from someone we met last week. normally after exchanging business cards we will emailed each other just for the sake of continuing the communications. truth is i didn't know about this until i realised i've received emails from those i gave my cards to that i did the same now, though only to those that i communicate a lot with during the meetings. therefore i was quite amazed when this time around i received a letter as the form of communications. i mean, in this globalisation era someone still send a letter - and to top that up, this someone is a high class professional with his own business here. now, should i answer by sending a letter or would a simple email do?

Drops of Jupiter
i can't help it - this is definitely one of the best song i've ever listened.
everytime its playing, be it on my machine or iPod, i definitely will repeat it at least 3 times!!

now that she's back in the atmosphere
with drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
she acts like summer and walks like rain
reminds me that there's a time to change, hey, hey
since the return from her stay on the moon
she listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey
hey, hey

tell me did you sail across the sun
did you make it to the milkyway to see the lights all faded
and that heaven is overrated
tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

now that she's back from that soul vacation
tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey mmm
she checks out mozart while she does taebo
reminds me that there's a room to grow, hey, hey

now that she's back in the atmosphere
i'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane
told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
and head back to the milkyway
and tell me, did venus blow your mind
was it everything you wanted to find
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation
the best soy latte that you ever had and me

tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
and head back toward the milkyway

tell me did you sail across the sun
did you make it to the milkyway to see the lights all faded
and that heaven is overrated
tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself

na na na na na na na na
and did you finally get a chance to dance along the light of day
na na na na na na na na
and did you fall for a shooting star .. fall for a shooting star
na na na na na na na na
and now you're only looking for yourself out there ..

another letter to You

at last whatever you tried to keep away from her was revealed. how were we to know that she would see it with her own eyes. i guess that was one of the reason you must tell the truth from the beginning, eh. well i guess the two of you must sort things out yourself. we are not going to interfere here.
i told another friend and she too kinda agree on us being neutral. and i knew you told her that you suspected everyone was not happy with you. i pity you actually but it's your own doing.
i knew from her that you approached her asking if she was angry. but how could you think that she was mad about another matter! it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know straightaway, eh.
okay, so you've approached me as well. but like i said i have nothing to be mad at you about. i know you were relieved and felt embarrass with your wrong sixth sense. i may not be 100% honest there but i really am not mad at you. i just feel disappointed on the way you treat her. and to be honest, my respect for you are now down by 1 point.

got a call from home this morning, my uncle had passed away. innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun. may he rest in peace. i am so glad mom made sure i visited him exactly one week ago. how i wish i could be there with the whole family today.

you know what ...
mode: dreamy

its 9 pm sunday night and i switch on my machine as i was thinking of doing some work. but i ended up browsing few pics from my previous trips.
i had 27 days of leave, not to mention zillions of time off, this year. i couldn't possibly take leave until october. pray tell come october, they're going to implement user interface for hr system and unlucky me being involved in hr might not be able to take leave then. so i could only dream on how to use these 27 days of leave when i can take it.
yes i've been having quite a few week end getaways which mostly involved physical activities. No, i am not complaining, thats my dream getaway! what i'm dreaming of is something really relaxing. i dream of going back to one country i am really in love with.
in this dream of mine, i stay at a bed and breakfast hotel. wake up early and take a stroll along the arrondisement where i stay, have a cup of tea accompanied by some pastries and a good book in one of the cafes, take a sit in the outdoor cafe and do some people watching along avenue de champs elysees. take the stairs instead of the elevator up to le tour d'eiffel. walk along montmartre and stop for brunch enjoying the surrounding view of paris from the hill of sacre couer. walk from one end of a bridge to another end then walk along river seine to another bridge and repeat the crossing again and again trying to cover as many bridges as i can while capturing the surrounding views in my mind. relaxing at trocadero looking at the beautiful le tour d'eiffel. take a cruise along the river seine, enjoying the smell of the river while allowing the wind to play with my hair. take a train for a day trip to the countryside.

oohhh .. how i really wish i could realise this dream one day - any takers?

and i couldn't reach the part time helper ..
after thinking of having someone doing the ironing for me today *sigh*

allez les bleus

Francais est magnifique!!
soooooooooo happy, ease a bit of my sadness due to england's lost.
henry et barthez, vous avez fait tres tres bon pour la france!
hope you guys can remove the cocky smile from c. ronaldo's face in the semifinal.
final? Germany vs France!! but then i have to flip the coin to know whom to support..
Germany ... Germany ... Germany ...

Oh England *cry*
it was david now its rooney - why are you guys destined for red card?
without owen without beckham then without rooney - you guys had a good defense, thanks to terry and rio ferdinand but still ... hiks hiks hiks ....

lastly ...

been asked to watch the match outside for several times. i've declined 2 invitations last week and another invitation last night. i dunno, i just feel lazy watching it outside. come semi finals and final, ask me again and i might change my mind.
yesterday i asked them to come to my place and watch it here instead. of course no beer provided and no big screen tv but cozier right?. declining today's invitation as well, i persuaded the girls to watch at my place instead. and guess what - sal and jen will come and watch the game at my place. i know sal's just like me and i know jen is not into it at all, she just join for the sake of chatting. yess!! hope we could continue the chat - or should i said bombarding jen so that she stop doing the stupid thing she's doing now - we had yesterday...
*and now i'm reminded with the sinful leonidas brownies and ice-cream yummm*

yesss...

yeah, so many blogs at one go eh, the result of being alone at the office on saturday.
finally the whole process works! soo happy!! should be able to continue the rest on monday.
for now, i think i'll head home. gonna order pizza for the game tonight. promise this will be my last night feasting like mad :)
last night match was good!! such a roller coaster ride for my heart. though i'm not so into football, i am into it every 4 years and whenever my families are talking about it in our mailing list :). i always support those that lost last time, hence i was soo happy that german won the game last night. i know they are proud people but be damn, i'm happy! i have the feeling england won't need a lot of effort tonight but though i have a soft spot for france, think they won't be able to make it through to semi final. lets see ...

::my lovely Jakarta::

yeah, been busy with work that i haven't had a chance to recap my weekend trip back home last week.
nothing unusual, met my families, met biki n juwi prior to meeting the rest for dinner on saturday, and again met biki n juwi on sunday to see gotheborg, dinner with the whole family on sunday night, and spent the whole monday doing something else.
of course, ate like crazy that i was really sick afterwards. threw up twice i felt that whatever i had in jakarta was all out once i was back home. apparently i had stomach flu but couldn't afford to take sick leave that i spent the first few days after i am back feeling so darn sick at the office.
but overall i am happy with my trip back home - can't wait for my next trip home when my sis gives birth

little monsters

it all started with the need to get my nephew a pet of his own. yeah, its been sorta like a tradition in our family to have a pet for each of us to take care of when we were young. the objective is to teach us to be responsible on something and at the same time teaching us to love animals. well, my nephew's been helping dad giving the fish food every morning but he didn't have other responsibility such us making sure the water is clean, the pet itself is happy and the cage is taken care of. he's going to be 5 yrs old in 2 months time, so i guess it is time for him to have one. i remember sitting by my rabbit side when she was dying. at first mum suggested a tortoise, but my sis rejected as we knew the shell must be scrubbed and she doesn't want to do it 'cos my nephew is too young for that job. my younger sis suddenly told us that her friend will give her a pet *again*. so there they are, 2 cute little hamsters. my nephew was quite amazed by them that he spent the first day after their arrival sitting in front of the cage watching every movements of the hamsters. we wanted him to be brave and i started by taking one hamster out of the cage. being cute as it was, i assume it would just sit still enjoying the strokes given. boy i was so wrong!. i barely touched the white one and it had bit my fingers. darn pain and it bled. little monsters they are!!
heard from my younger sis that she is trying to hold them everyday to make them used to human touch though she ended up getting more and more scars everyday. and this morning i learned that our cat, andres, pushed the hamster cage from the table that now they're kept in another cage. double protection.
lol my nephew surely have 2 darn little pets to take care of. i wonder when he will have the courage to hold them.

it's saturday evening and i'm stuck at the office ...
should be doing more work but i ended up doing more chatting :P
c'est ma vie - tres tres absurd

an open letter to YOU

hi you,

i should say that i am totally annoyed with you now.

how could you do that to her? or should i said to us? okay she's been asking it from you for what, 2 days? 3 days? and you didn't answer her at all when a simple NO would make her feel better than just hanging her loose. i did told her that knowing you, silence means a no - but she insisted on silence means consent that i couldn't say anything.
yesterday she suspected you'll be following the other direction when she saw it. i told her that i am not surprise if you do and gave her several reasons so that she could understand it as well. i know that i will be given the choice to follow the other direction as well knowing who suggested it. and i was right, i was given the choice last night but i kept it open 'cos i have my priorities and i believe you know where my priorities lie. i confirmed my choice this morning to the person suggesting it and that was when i found out you had yet another direction to follow.
i was so darn glad i didn't reveal it to her. i wanted to see if you would honestly tell her. i told another friend of ours of my decision and this friend was 100% behind me. boy oh boy, was i surprise when she told me what you told her. you're lying to her man! and to top that up you added something that i knew would be use on your defense had she found out the truth.
i was really disappointed with your behaviour towards her. was it because it is only her that you did that? had it been another friend of ours or even me, would you still do that?
*sigh* i'm beginning to believe every single word another friend of mine said about you - how i always defended you but now i think there's a good point stated there.
don't worry though, we have decided to accompany her tonight so that she wouldn't follow the same direction you're following. i hope it works fine and i just wish *really wish* she won't find out about this - but then if she does, you've already have a plan to defend yourself, eh?

*annoyed me