it could just be me but i can feel a change whenever the conversation gets deeper - personal issues and also conversation that led to advises. and it seems like the wish of treasuring the last few days comes from both parties. watching trailers. listening to songs. might not be exclusive but lets hope the advises are taken seriously as said. i am SO gonna miss all the good times we shared.

life is too short to be wasted in finding answeres. enjoy the questions ...

+ why do i have a crush on such a guy? - why not

i am going to enjoy the few days left. no longer a crush but i am still charmed. and i hope one day i will find myself one.

isn't it amazing how a simple 'hello ma'am' totally changed my day!

Sweet

didn't expect the appearance today, but it definitely was one pleasant surprise.
confessed that i wouldn't feel safe anymore now that the authority has changed.
saw the tantrum which i think is kinda cute/funny

and a hypothetical question for a dear friend kinda cleared my mind - what do you want to wake up to everyday?

but i am still gonna miss the days spent in that room

Honored

that means the person who bought this is very thoughtful ...
ma'am, i feel so honored

i don't expect tears of gratitude. but i am happy to know that you're touch.
the pleasure is mine.


ps.
i am honored to know you.
and i thank God for letting us crossed path and letting me learn a lot more about myself - even if its only a shortwhile

Thank You

thank you for being the one who makes me realised that i still have hope in me.
thank you for being the one of nicest person i've crossed path with.
thank you for making me feel so secure and protected, for letting me know that my back is always covered.
and most of all, thank you for being the person that makes me learn to open up.

i know there will be tears in my eyes and i am not going to hide it. i won't let my pride gets the best of me.
for that, thank you for making me understand the beauty of being fragile.

thank you ...

Nevermind .. I'll Find Someone Like You

i'm starting to have a crush or maybe just like the idea of falling for you-know-who.
attached maybe even engaged and i kinda dislike him before but as days gone by and i started to know him better i like spending more time chit chatting and all with him.
and now this idea of falling might eventually be a real crush if i don't control myself.
damn!

Why?

everyone is either in a getting to know each other stage, in a relationship, engaged, getting married, married, having a baby, having a family, busy with the family.
everyone but me ...
is there something seriously wrong with me?

TARGET

i have to start saving and get myself a place of my own.
i have to be a homeowner in the next 3yrs!!

Fantasy Land

i'm getting more and more into korean drama ...

and the problem is that i get too emotionally involved that at times it's too much. yes, that's just acting but wouldn't it be great if that happens in real life.
i told myself that before i have my own love story, i'll just enjoy those love stories.
wrong! a friend pointed out - the more you watch the higher your expectation is. so i have to stop myself from starting another one. i didn't watch it before anyway.

i. have. to. stop!

Crash Boom BANG

i've been watching more and more korean drama lately. not good for a hopeless romantic like me because it will continue to linger in me making me wish how i experience that too :D

i told my friends that if korean guy are really as what portrayed in those drama, i don't mind getting one. one told me that korean guy is known to be a MCP.

so in between my break i googled 'is korean man as romantic as in drama' and ended up reading about one sweet scene - a scene i just watched last night. sad to say that i found another article where the actor in that scene said that he couldn't do it in real life.


*crashed*

GAP

attended a birthday lunch ..
a girl 9 years my junior and yet they talked about it like they've hit rock bottom with the new age. not the first time but i think this will be the last time i join the birthday celebration - all this 'oh i'm so old' talk just makes me realised that i am old and i am still like this :

01.01.2012

so i started the first day on the new year badly :D
1. i slept as late as 4 am resulted in me waking up late
2. i spent the whole day watching drama online - laundry and some cleaning up in between
3. i ate like there's no tomorrow - noodle, chips, peanuts, diet coke and all

yes i know .. bad bad me
BUT tomorrow i will start a new regime; the reason for my being frumpy today.
and to make myself embarrassed if i didn't achieve what i want to, i'll write it all down here and see how it goes (or even the excuses i make in the future if i disobey them)

1. early morning for early jog - if i miss this i still have to jog at night, but no .. i can't miss it!
2. healthy diet again - cook for breakfast and dinner
3. commitment to exercising 20 days in a row ..

as of today my weight is 64.1 kgs
lets see how it goes 2 weeks from now..

Reflections

few more hours before 2011 disappears and a new number appears. it's not a biggie, it's just a number i know. but with all the things going on we started to reflect on our life - the bad, the good and all. we wonder if there is something we could do to make our future better, to make it a more meaningful life.
and so i am doing my own reflections ...

2011 :-
* a number of friends left the country for good, moving on. me? i'm still stuck in this country
* a number of cousins got married. me? i'm still not sure what i should do to even meet someone
* few people i know had a great career advancement. me? let's see what the next appraisal has for me

i can't say i have any regrets but yes i wish i could react differently in some situation.

so what's 2012 for me?

nothing much but i hope in this year i'd be more diligent with my income and also smart with my body - workout more. save more. and with God's permission, meet someone.
YES i know i have to work on them, there is no such thing as miracle. so yes, i'll try my best and work hard on them!

i don't have a lot of friends anymore in this country, but what i have left i hold dearly in my heart and i keep reminding myself that what matters are quality over quantity - so what if my weekends were not as busy as before. and i should start using this free weekends to work harder in achieving my dreams!!

other than that? i just wish to be happy; if possible happier than i am now.

i started writing with so many things in my mind but now i just want to stop writing and continue my drama :D

if you're reading this, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012
may we continue striving for the best, learn from our past mistakes and live life with no regrets

2012

as 2012 approaches, everyone started having their own resolution. i am one who doesn't do that but hey, lets not be hypocrite and admit that secretly i told myself 'in this new year i should be better'
so though i don't have any resolution - to say - i am to STOP or maybe cut down on taking taxi and be more savvy with my income.
wouldn't it be great to have a place to call my own soon ...

oh WOW

i've never been humiliated for being a single until last saturday's event. and to think all that happened just because i was trying to make someone happy!
a part of me wanted revenge. the other part of me just felt sorry for myself.
yes i wanted to try harder but i too have to accept the fact that in reality, it ain't that simple!

Words

the more i waste my energy on words, the less convinced i will be of what i'm saying, and it will be the easier to get the better of me ...

- aleph, paulo coelho

Question

one .. just one ..

WHEN?

Let Me

this afternoon. the glimpse ...
allow me to have my own interpretation of it. even if it's a wrong one, even when the numbers are so against me let alone the others, please allow me to enjoy and keep it with me.