One (actually two) More Down ...

I got this list from one of the group on facebook and let's see how many can i tick off ..

• Visit ground Zero
• Go B.A.S.E Jumping/Wingsuiting
• Get a British accent
• Travel to every country in the world
• Learn lots other languages
• Own a ferret
• Go to Africa/climb Kilimanjaro
• hanglide
• See the Aurora
• See Great Wall of China
• See the Redwoods
• See pyramids
• Get rich quick and have a huge seaside mansion with a yacht and a fleet of Private Jets
• See the Pope
• See a shuttle launch
• See the Olympics or be in them
• Attend 1 or many new years celebrations in new york
• Explore Australia/ ayers rock
• Swim with dolphins
• Be an extra in a film
• Own a room with a view
• Buy a round-the-world air ticket and a rucksack, and run away
• Be a member of the audience in a TV show
• Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia
• Write the novel you know you have inside you
• Drink beer at Oktoberfest in Munich
• Go through all of the Musee du Louvre
• Parasail
• Be a rebel
• Go Zorbing
• Work on an “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” Show
• Crash a wedding
• Ride a motorcycle along the Great Wall of China
• Have waffles in Belgium
• Be at the top of the Eiffel Tower at night
• See a real igloo
• Shower in a waterfall
• See a lunar eclipse
• Walk to the top of the Empire state Building
• Tell Donald trump “Your Fired”
• Hallucinate
• Spend the New Year in Australia (first)
• Experience weightlessness
• Skydive from space or high altitude (200,000 feet-275,000)
• Sleep under the stars
• Take a ride on the highest roller coaster in the country
• Go wild in Rio during Carnival
• Forgive your parents --> they are never at fault anyway ..
• Drive the AutobahnRaft through the Grand Canyon
• Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring
• Accept yourself for who you are
• Scuba dive off Australia's Great Barrier Reef
• Go up in a hot-air balloon
• Attend one really huge rock concert -> bon jovi qualifies? ;)
• Kiss the Blarney stone and develop the gift of gab
• Go deep sea fishing and eat your catch
• Make yourself spend a half-day at a concentration camp and swear never to forget
• See the Statue of Liberty
• Catch a ball in the stands of a major league baseball stadium
• Look into your child's eyes, see yourself, and smile
• Listen to the Dalai Lama Speak
• See the Taj Mahal
• Bunji Jump
• Go to see the Aztec Pyramids
• See the house you grew up in
• Go whale watching
• Queue for something for at least 24 hours
• Stage Dive
• Make someone cry of happiness
• Sponsor a child
• Have a coffee on the sidewalk in Paris and people watch
• Touch one of the Royal family
• Visit Area 51
• Visit Machu Picchu
• Spend a day at Disney land being a kid
• Write down your goals and then do something about them
• A winter in Hawaii, spring in London, summer in the Alps, fall in New England
• Take a year off
• Live abroad
• Visit Italy
• Live life to the Fullest -> within limit, that is ...
• Walk down Abbey Road
• Fly a plane
• Follow the Nile and see the pyramids
• Sail around the World
• Visit all of Europe (Iceland too), new-Zealand, Australia, Japan, Ghana
• Visit the moon
• Admit you are WRONG about EVERYTHING
• Explore Russia
• To be able to say....in everything...whether success, or failure...I Tried
• Go on a cruise
• See all the seven wonders of the world
• Meet Michael Jackson and laugh at his plastic nose -- impossible now that he's dead :\
• See Niagara Falls
• See the CN Tower sing in the rain!
• Watch the sunrise on a mountain
• See Stonehenge
• Question everything you take for granted.
• Read the Classics
• Catch fireflies at sunset
• Dye your hair
• Meet a King or Queen
• break a world record
• do all the things your parents told you not to
• Ride a Motorcycle
• Climb the 7 summits
• Waterfall jumping
• See the Anne Frank House
• See the Hollywood Sign
• Sell ice to an Eskimo
• Spelunk
• Learn some dirty jokes that would make a nun laugh
• Have a secret hiding place
• Run thorough a car wash
• Run with the bulls in Pamplona

Bye Bye Bye

another one's leaving. not a surprise but still raised our eyebrows, my mouth is salty i guess. hoping to be the voice of the remaining, i wish nothing but the best for her.
et moi? patient my friend, patient. you have your own plan, don't you?

The Planning Phase

after being stucked in the initiation phase for years, i've made up my mind; making small little steps forward...

1st step - register for the test

whether it's a success or failure, at least i'm trying ...

Living Life to the Fullest

I got this list from one of the group on facebook and let's see how many can i tick off ..

• Visit ground Zero
• Go B.A.S.E Jumping/Wingsuiting
• Get a British accent
• Travel to every country in the world
• Learn lots other languages
• Own a ferret
• Go to Africa/climb Kilimanjaro
• hanglide
• See the Aurora
• See Great Wall of China
• See the Redwoods
• See pyramids
• Get rich quick and have a huge seaside mansion with a yacht and a fleet of Private Jets
• See the Pope
• See a shuttle launch
• See the Olympics or be in them
• Attend 1 or many new years celebrations in new york
• Explore Australia/ ayers rock
• Swim with dolphins
• Be an extra in a film
• Own a room with a view
• Buy a round-the-world air ticket and a rucksack, and run away
• Be a member of the audience in a TV show
• Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia
• Write the novel you know you have inside you
• Drink beer at Oktoberfest in Munich
• Go through all of the Musee du Louvre
• Parasail
• Be a rebel
• Go Zorbing
• Work on an “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” Show
• Crash a wedding
• Ride a motorcycle along the Great Wall of China
• Have waffles in Belgium
• Be at the top of the Eiffel Tower at night
• See a real igloo
• Shower in a waterfall
• See a lunar eclipse
• Walk to the top of the Empire state Building
• Tell Donald trump “Your Fired”
• Hallucinate
• Spend the New Year in Australia (first)
• Experience weightlessness
• Skydive from space or high altitude (200,000 feet-275,000)
• Sleep under the stars
• Take a ride on the highest roller coaster in the country
• Go wild in Rio during Carnival
• Forgive your parents --> they are never at fault anyway ..
• Drive the AutobahnRaft through the Grand Canyon
• Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring
• Accept yourself for who you are
• Scuba dive off Australia's Great Barrier Reef
• Go up in a hot-air balloon
• Attend one really huge rock concert -> bon jovi qualifies? ;)
• Kiss the Blarney stone and develop the gift of gab
• Go deep sea fishing and eat your catch
• Make yourself spend a half-day at a concentration camp and swear never to forget
• See the Statue of Liberty
• Catch a ball in the stands of a major league baseball stadium
• Look into your child's eyes, see yourself, and smile
• Listen to the Dalai Lama Speak
• See the Taj Mahal
• Bunji Jump
• Go to see the Aztec Pyramids
• See the house you grew up in
• Go whale watching
• Queue for something for at least 24 hours
• Stage Dive
• Make someone cry of happiness
• Sponsor a child
• Have a coffee on the sidewalk in Paris and people watch
• Touch one of the Royal family
• Visit Area 51
• Visit Machu Picchu
• Spend a day at Disney land being a kid
• Write down your goals and then do something about them
• A winter in Hawaii, spring in London, summer in the Alps, fall in New England
• Take a year off
• Live abroad
• Visit Italy
• Live life to the Fullest -> within limit, that is ...
• Walk down Abbey Road
• Fly a plane
• Follow the Nile and see the pyramids
• Sail around the World
• Visit all of Europe (Iceland too), new-Zealand, Australia, Japan, Ghana
• Visit the moon
• Admit you are WRONG about EVERYTHING
• Explore Russia
• To be able to say....in everything...whether success, or failure...I Tried
• Go on a cruise
• See all the seven wonders of the world
• Meet Michael Jackson and laugh at his plastic nose
• See Niagara Falls
• See the CN Tower sing in the rain!
• Watch the sunrise on a mountain
• See Stonehenge
• Question everything you take for granted.
• Read the Classics
• Catch fireflies at sunset
• Dye your hair
• Meet a King or Queen
• break a world record
• do all the things your parents told you not to
• Ride a Motorcycle
• Climb the 7 summits
• Waterfall jumping
• See the Anne Frank House
• See the Hollywood Sign
• Sell ice to an Eskimo
• Spelunk
• Learn some dirty jokes that would make a nun laugh
• Have a secret hiding place
• Run thorough a car wash
• Run with the bulls in Pamplona

DONE DEAL

so i've said it out loud, "check for me, i'm dead serious. it's been 10 years".
do i make a mistake blurting that out loud? only time will tell.
God will always give the best to those who never stop having faith, that's for sure. and all i know that it's now or never ...

Thinking and Pondering

i couldn't stop thinking of my previous post - i don't want to waste my life being ordinary. i really want to be a somebody, not just anybody. no, i ain't talking about fame but i can't help it if i do wish for fortune. i am human after all. i long for financial freedom.

and then a movie, a chickflick movie that is, portraying a successful woman with a to die for apartment. the way she dress up and all made me wonder if i could ever own that kinda apartment, leave that kinda life. somehow, deep down inside of me, i feel like i can. but what have i done that could enable me to achieve that? none. i stayed too long in the same company, being unappreciated at time but that doesn't stop me from staying put. not wanting to get out from my comfy zone? i don't know. maybe yes, maybe not. all i know is that at times i look down on myself. and instead of still doing things to improve myself, i decided to stay. ah, i guess i just want to play safe. and this comes from me, ME, who loves surprises. so, why don't i do something? 'cos i'm not ready financially. and who's fault is that? none other but me.

so have i done anything to fix that? honestly, no. i actually end up getting deeper and deeper.

i really hope this time, this darn time, i really change.

somehow i feel there's more in me that have yet to be exposed ...

a tad too late? maybe. but then again, better late than never.

Question

i don't want to waste my life being ordinary

what do i want?
have i work towards achieving it?

Life

life is a roller coaster, just got to ride it - ronan keating

just this morning, i came back home feeling happy and proud of myself for completing my first half marathon. though the plan was to spend the afternoon resting, i ended up answering calls from almost all aunties and uncles asking mum's whereabout. i myself didn't know 'cos she lost her charger during the wedding and her phone battery was flat. after almost 2hrs of this drama, feeling a little annoyed - and hungry - i dragged myself out to get some food and at the same time to buy a new charger for mum. mum called on my way up asking my whereabouts. the minute i came inside the house she asked me to get dressed as i am supposed to accompany her to go to my uncle's before heading down to see a man who is good in alternative medicine. both my uncle and auntie are now able to sit down for prayer, no longer in need of chair, hence mum's eagerness to try the solution.

once we're there the man took a look at me and said "may i know what's your name, girl?" i was like "huh? why am i in the picture?" apparently he is blessed with a gift of *seeing* things. honestly i don't believe in such things. but after asking my name and telling me about myself - no prediction whatsoever anyway since he's not a fortune telling - he gave loads of good advise. first and foremost he said that he saw me as someone with a strong character, someone who can achieve whatever i aim for but somehow i didn't try it the right way. i was really hit to the core when he continued by saying "girl, try not to miss your morning prayer". THAT is one prayer i miss mostly. when i answered "when the time comes it comes" to one particular subject he advised me again that i too need to work on that and even asking from God has its own way. an advise given by my uni friend and high school friend as well. loads of good advice that i ended up trying hard not to drop a single tears. he told me not to miss the opportunity in both life and career 'cos he can *see* a great gift bestowed upon me from God - what gift, he doesn't know. it feels like the big guy up there is not giving up on me, He is reminding me through this *wise* man. he ended the advise with "and girl, try to lose some weight as well". LOL.

went home feeling warm and spent the night chatting with a friend. was talking about my feelings on a particular subject when my sister called informing the death of my aunt, dad's only sister. i feel so sad because this auntie of mine is one that is very protective of us, very caring and loving. what a bless to die on the eve of ied' adha. both me and mum thought of going home but we were informed that the body will be flown back to surabaya where she will be put to rest next to her husband. i can only pray from afar, wishing you a blessful journey in meeting our creator, fibi.

i can't help but feel life is indeed a roller coaster - you can start your day feeling happy only to end it with sadness. treasure what you have. live every minute responsibly...

Bad Grammar But ...

i think this is the only malay song that i like, sang by the 1st singapore idol.
not bad, eh ...

My Normal Saturday ...

i kinda miss the day when i left the house to grab a lunch at java kitchen @vivo city. after which, i'd take the monorail to sentosa and played vb for few hours, grabbed a quick shower and had dinner together before going home. i missed the fun of just sitting at the side of the court watching the game or joining in the game trying my best to hit the ball *though i tend to dodge it or simply shouted "not mine" when the ball came my way*. i missed chit chatting with the others while the two doggies tried to push their way in between us and i moved several times just so that their nose didn't touch me. i miss thinking how darker i'd be under those scorching sun.

so today, i decided to switch off my machine and do what i used to do. and i love it. though my game is back to being suck *but hey, i saved the ball once!*, though i was thought a newbie because there's sooo many newbies *to me at least* there, though i didn't stay until the end and had dinner together, i had a lovely time. not to mention one of the newbie there looks like matt damon *well, the eyes and the smile to me even when the rest said "NO"*.

it's good to be back...

Heart Matters

sometimes you take things for granted and you only realised that when it's gone.
i really should've follow my heart ...
nevermind, lesson learnt.

Wishful Thinking

i wish things will get back to the way they normally are. i miss the laughter, the stories, the sillyness, the sharings, everything!! i wonder how long does it take though i feel that things will never go back to normal again. a breather is what all needs before things get back to normal, but then ... so much for the thought of making things normal.

i can't stop wondering have i really opened a pandora box?

Not My Kind

but the thought that counts ...........

i met her during my almamater's reunion last year. we managed to stay in touch through the indonesian community's mailing list. though she's married and i have a *life* of my own, we tried to meet up as and when we can. i do have to give her loads of credit for never giving up on suggesting dinner or just a mere catching up. and earlier today, we met for awhile as i have a tennis game to catch *though we ended up playing for 10mins and went home afterwards*. chat over lunch she gave me this little pressie made by her own hands. isn't it so sweet of her? it's not my kinda ring but still, i was touched and a little embarassed for not making a better effort in catching up.

The Verdict

my boss is no longer my boss. one person resigned due to pride being under her. the CIO said few of us should be moving to area role instead of sticking in country. what role? who's my boss? how is the people management gonna be now that my *future* boss might not be in SG? IT should be happy now that my boss is the country lead. we on the other hand can only look at the new structure chart playing the guessing game

I Want to Break Free

wouldn't it be great if i can just switch everything off for awhile ?

or maybe even for a long time ...

History

history will never repeat itself

- not when you forbid it

- not when you learnt from the past and do things differently from there onwards

- not when you're in charge of yourself

fool me once .. shame on you

fool me twice .. shame on me!!!

Choices

two people - however close they are - can (or maybe even will always?) have totally opposite views on life. one who doesn't really know what (s)he want will never feel satisfied. when you only know what you don't want in life, you'll end up searching for more even when you don't really know what is that you're searching for. while one who face life reastically might end up compromising the situation (s)he faced. watch this movie, and you'll get what i mean.
life is after all full of choices. either you accept it or not. either you stay commited to what you decide or keep on changing your mind. nothing's perfect anyway. be happy and contented with what you have - that's the key. but then again, isn't life more excited with some adventure in it? makes me wonder ....

pic. courtesy of imdb.com
as for you my friend - hope you had a good time. yes i broke my promise on just being a listener. i talked. hey, i can't help it. i made you laugh anyway :). really hope you get your issues settled fast ...

Youth Without Youth

one word: confusing. an old man who - after struck by a lightning - is given a chance to do things he always dream of doing/achieving. when everything is perfect - is it too good to be true? how can you differentiate dreams and reality? you can be analysing your dreams in your dreams. will you do things differently the 2nd time? will you sacrifice your love one just to get things right now that you're given another chance to do so? complicated lah - at least for me. still as complicated as i think it is, i find the whole plot makes it a very interesting movie to watch.

pic. courtesy of imdb.com

The Day I Chucked A Sickie

exactly a week ago, i celebrated Hari Raya. a belated wish, but, Have a Blessed Hari Raya to all celebrating. after a month of fasting, controlling hunger *easy*, emotion *hard!!* and all, we finally got another chance to start anew, start afresh. i personally think my ramadhan this year is better compared to last year's. now the tough part is on mantaining and improving it.

anyways ....

i went home for a week to celebrate it with my family. spent most of my time with my nieces and nephew. did the visiting. munching non stop which resulted in me not feeling 100% great now. met few uni friends for a break fast session. all in all - i enjoyed my trip home. my eldest niece is so adorable that i spent most of my time with her compared to my nephew and the youngest niece. maybe because being 2yrs old, she's at her peak of *cuteness*. though i have to say i had enough of nemo, kungfu panda, and alvin&the chipmunks. its fun watching alvin with my youngest niece around as well, we're all presented with a funny kiddy dance moves. it's fun to have those kids around. the house seems empty when they're out and about. i munched a lot as well that resulted in me having sore throat now.

yeah, the minute i reached singapore i started sneezing non-stop. i didn't sleep the 1st night after i was back, only slept like 4hrs the following night and last night, i remembered switching my machine at 4.10am and trying hard to get some sleep. my flu is getting worst that i finally went to see a doctor today. she gave me few medications and asked if i'd like to go home and rest. i said that i'm fine, she then advised me to sleep more. that was when i told her about my sleepless night. she prescribed a mild sleeping pill for me (only 2 pills) and insisted on me going home and rest. so i went to funan to get myself the 3-in-1 scanner and an external harddisk before going home. and i'm glad i did that. with no medication to be taken in the afternoon, i'm pretty fit to play with my new toys soon.

H is for Hectic Happy & Hooray

i had a hectic day at work today. i don't know but things that can go wrong went wrong everytime i'm going on long leave. i got a call when i was home, i got a call when i was about to climb the harbour bridge, i got a call when i was on a short trip across the island that i ended up bring my machine with me whenever i went home. but it all stopped few years ago with the system globalisation, hence no longer unix and stuff for moi. until today. i broke down three times mostly due to the panic i created myself.

started the day feeling a little disappointed when my 1/2 day leave was not granted. hp is also on long leave, hence i can understand my boss' reason. "you are important here". "sorry, i don't buy that anymore" was my answer which i'm sure surprised her. then came the problems. firstly it was our very own datafeed which was doubled for one of the period. this never happened before and it happened - of all the day - today. i was busy checking the caused of this when an email from our malaysia counterpart arrived requesting a complete set of data from the previous financial year. and i just archived the dB and moved it to the tape few days ago. just when i was in the middle of replying to the email to inform them the time needed to retrieve the data etc another email came stating the deadline is Oct 2nd. no way out, i have to do it now. well to be honest with hp on leave i have doubt with the other backup the minute she asked me how to restore dB in ms sql server. with only few hours left i ended up giving them structure text instead of xml - at least i gave them. i went back to investigating the data and decided to do a select distinct to fix the duplicate record issue. done with that i went back to doing my own personal development plan which is due end of this month. boss called asking me to check the email she just sent, an email that *complete* my day. another email from malaysia and this time around advising us that uploading to the central server can no longer be done from our local server but through malaysia's. all changes must be done by - t.o.m.o.r.r.o.w. crazy!! we tried calling them, sametime-ing them without avail. i was in the midst of listing down things we upload to global when again my boss came saying the duplicate record issue ended up with lesser records for other period. man! i need to leave early and all these happened. my backup? she was squatting next to me writing what she's supposed to check for hr application. i felt like screaming but i knew there wasn't any point there. finance called complaining about this new info because tomorrow is our month-end closing. boss asked me to come tomorrow i said no and she said she'd called me tonight if need be, to which i said i'd be switching my mobile. she knew then i wasn't in my best of mood since i never ever said that kinda words to her. she came to me afterwards saying the duplicate data can wait until i come back *too late for that* and that i don't stay late *yeah, right*. anyways, to cut my bitching short - i managed to settled the duplicate records, emailed malaysia asking details on things and advising my backup to do it manually until i return. i hope she can do it.

thanks to a friend who accompanied me clearing my head by walking down to orchard. i had a nice night to ease my tense and i can said i ended the day happily. though i complained about work here i know myself better - if i leave things unfixed i will never have a good night sleep feeling guilty. reaching my place, i took the lift closer to the guinea pigs to check on them. the lady was feeding them so i stopped and had a chat with her about the cuties. she told me that they belong to her friend who went overseas for study. she took it under her care and somehow *someone* complained to spca saying she's cruel to the animals (i didn't say that, eh). but, she said, at least now she always remember to feed them the minute she reaches home. a kind hearted woman, i felt a little bit guilty for telling on her but i had to do my part for the animals. at least she took it seriously now.

alrighty, enough talking. gotta start packing and paying my bills before leaving tomorrow. with the flight so early in the morning, i'll try hard not to sleep so that i don't miss the flight.