Random

So i checked my email yesterday and there it was - an email from that company to schedule an interview. I was excited and nervous at the same time, am I capable for this? do I really want to give it a try?
Then I told myself - the reason I have yet to achieve what I dream of is because of my timidity, my lack of confidence in myself!
I reminded myself on the cover letter I wrote for this place - I believe I sold myself well, and I do have the capability so go for it! don't think too much and just give it a go with the best that I can do.

So yeah, I decided to give it a go - never try never know. and I should keep on working towards my goal. And at this age, I can't delay it. I still have time - although limited - to do more than I am doing now. I always feel that I am destined to do more and this is my time to give it a try!

On another note, a colleague just came back from a road trip with her parents and while sharing the experiences they all agreed that travelling with old folks required us driving on our own. I suddenly have this want to bring my parents on a road trip - driven by me, not private car. So with that in mind, I have added additional stuff to my bucket list: learn to drive.

Now, lets find a driving course.

Be Patience ...

I have been a bit of an emotional wreck for the past few days. Mostly because of not having anything to do at all at work when others are busy. And I still can't get over the fact that the team lead is someone of the same level as me. Although I have to admit that the banking and statistic background give him a better start compared to me.
I was busy looking for another opportunity - inside and outside of this environment. I was - am - still tempted to apply for that role even when I know I don't really have all the experience required. I applied to few places as well, hoping that somehow one of them will get back to me. So far none, but I am not giving up yet.
I realised one thing though - I enjoy consulting, I enjoy meeting people and travelling for work. Will I head back to consulting? I want to, so very much - but I don't want to move back to the Big 4; at least not now. I told myself yesterday that I should gain some knowledge here and go back with a higher position.
This morning, fresh with the post-workout energy I told myself .. give it time. No matter how crappy and slow things are here, stay for a bit more. Things will eventually pick up. Meanwhile, take courses that can enrich your opportunity to move to another role internally.
I am writing this but honestly my heart is screaming 'remember your age!'
But if I move now, I will be stuck in this level. I might as well be patience and enrich myself with that certification. Let's make the call now!

MY FEAR of looking stupid is HOLDING ME BACK

so here it goes ...
there's an opening - something interesting, but it's a bit, well 2 levels higher than where i am now. i am interested to be honest, but i'm not sure i am ready or even qualified for that!
my buddy said i can but do i want to risk it all and look stupid? or should i just give it a go, so what if i look stupid? if its meant to be it will be anyway right?

i dunno man ...
maybe i'll sleep on it and make the decision tomorrow since deadline is tomorrow.

Awakening

So yesterday i dropped by the old company to meet an ex-colleague for dinner. There, i saw few colleagues of mine but didn't bother to stop and say hi :)
But what hit me is the face of one of the lady - she was looking up at the ceiling, letting go an exasperation sigh. She doesn't look happy and she doesn't look great.
It just hit me that THAT was me before. Yes, I love what I did back there but do I really want to sacrifice my life, is it worth that much?

I may not feel contented - yet - in this place because things move too slow here. But rather than complain about it, shouldn't I make use of the time for my own benefit? Learn something new, get organize, anything! First time in my life did I took note of my travelling expenses. First time I started to really think about what I want and even planned to make a drastic change to achieve that dream of mine.

Just few days ago it hit me that I am no longer at the age where I can get away with wanting to start something new and not start it fast. If I want to make changes, if I want to start something new I have to do it fast! I am no longer in my 30s, let alone 20s. I am at the age where people have planted their feet firmly on the ground.

So rather than complain or feeling unhappy, I should take things positively - data is not in, so what should I do? enrich myself!

Destination: dream world

OK, I kinda decided where I want to go next year!!
I know it's too early, not to mention I don't know how long will it take to save back all the money used for this year's holidays but you know I'm positive that I can do whatever I want to do!

So here the are:
- cherry blossom (a must!) in South Korea, I know Japan is prettier but I'll stick to South Korea for now
- Bhutan! and this will be my epic adventure for next year

Of course, I still keep my eyes focus on having my 1st property next year and this will be the top priority still.
I have Antarctica (still) and Kilimanjaro on my list - but this, will be keep for now.

My savings is kinda slow this year thanks to all the crazily expensive travelling but next year, let's work harder. and go back to my kind of travelling - budget controlled travelling ;)