Of Mindset and Success

I have to agree that MINDSET IS EVERYTHING!

Before I go deeper ...

I read about what successful people do and some of the things are: they never stop learning, they network with the right people, and they don't lunch alone.
I need to work on the networking part and I am trying to blend to my team now, but I have not done anything on the never stop learning part.

Yes it is difficult to network now that I have yet to work in a team with people from other department. But I can start with the learning part, no?
I always think of making an apps - and always want to learn how to build a mobile app. But I never really do anything on it!!

I may have problem networking with people because of the role that I am in but I have to make an effort to know people around me, no? It will take time and I know it's difficult considering I am alone in my own place (I don't understand this seating arrangement) but I will try my best to do so. And instead of seeing this as a hurdle, I have to turn it into an opportunity! I shall start by smiling to people and who knows, maybe one day I can have lunch with them - expanding my network.

I have to change this mindset of mine. I currently see myself as a victim - of the bad seating arrangement, of the boss' bad team management that I ended up with being a team member instead of team leader. But I should take this down opportunity to learn mobile application development. And I should prepare myself to talk to my boss about this project arrangement.

I shouldn't see things negatively, instead I should make use of the time to plan for a better future. Mindset is everything and from today onward I aim to think of all the good things that are waiting for me - back to my ideal body weight, building my first mobile application, networking for a better career (and focus on that wanting to reach a successful point before 45) and of course still, not stopping to find myself a life partner.

I am changing my mindset starting this very second.
CHANGED!

March - a lookback

March is coming to an end and there's nothing awesome happening still :|
I've started my volunteering in the cat museum - it's fun but it's not really meaningful because the cats are all in pretty good shape. Maybe I should go and see if I can do another volunteering with the cat welfare society.

I've participated in my 1st volunteering with the firm as well; though it was fun no continuous friendship comes out from that, maybe not yet.
It's my 4th month with this firm and I have yet to do something meaningful. I haven't had any accomplishment and honestly it is getting to be very frustrating. I used to come from an environment where you tend to want to know more than what's given but in this team? everyone is just focus on their own stuff without even thinking of the business impact of things :|
Yes I have to admit this team is a technical team and so I know that I won't be staying in this team for long, I want to move back to business. But since I haven't learn anything much I will just stay put and wait patiently for the time to come.
I will definitely voice it out again during the mid year review - I want something I can own. Now I am basically getting instruction from someone who is supposed to get instructions from me had we both work in my previous company.

On another note, I have move to another building. The building is freaking old - the worst building and facility in my 16 years of working in this area! But, I am in the same place with my ex colleagues and ex supervisor. He introduced me to other people, though it's done through email I hope one day we can meet face to face and I will start building the relationship for my future.

I know I am capable of doing more than what I am doing now. I don't want to always be stuck in doing technical stuff. I want to be back to the management level, to the business level. I am seriously not satisfied at this moment, But I will wait and learn whatever I can, and I will climb back up again - one way or another. I will. I have to reach that point by 45!

On a better note, 65.9 this morning!!
I see the number '5'!! let's aim to be at least 65.5 next week, shall we?

FDA

fraud detection analytics.

This will be my focus - i kinda entered the wrong place; thought it's fraud analytics but ended up the analytics here is more on tuning :|
I will use the next year or so to learn the tools - get familiar and be an expert with it.
And plan my next step, if there is no improvement here .. find opportunity elsewhere.

I will still try to talk to my boss to give me something I can own, but he doesn't seem to understand what I mean. Instead I am getting instruction from my peers .. okay, he has more experience as he comes from the similar background. But I've told myself to look forward - think of the future, move back to the fraud environment if possible.

fraud detection analytics. sounds very tempting!

HCMC baby

so I have been contemplating on heading down to HCMC again for my annual trip with the parents for awhile. I wanted to but at the same time I was also thinking about the high expenses incurred this year - my UK trip, my year end trip, dad's hospitalization, my PT. But I also remind myself that this is for my parents, no amount of money could replace the happiness they'll encounter from this trip; especially mum who has been curious about HCMC for ages.
I wanted to fly budget but I'm worried about mum's knees. I told myself maybe I should just close my eyes and do the booking, but common sense said no.
And guess what, today I chanced upon a promotion .. much more cheaper than the previous promotion. Of course it requires me to apply leave. I wanted to but still thinking if it's worth the leave and guess what? it's a public holiday on Monday so I need to just apply 1 day leave!!! and on top of that, I got a nice hotel with a reasonable price!
God is definitely on my parents side for making all this promotion available for me to proceed with making my mum's dream of HCMC comes true!!

another unplanned trip - but this one is worth every single penny!

Revisiting the goal

It's almost the end of Q1 2016, let's revisit my 2016 goal and see how far (or behind) I am ...

1. Lose weight
   As of this morning, I am 65.8!
   still a long way to go, but Yay .. 5 kgs down! 15kgs to go
   
2. Running
   I've done one last week :\ and hopefully I can wake up early to do another one tomorrow morning.
   Need to work this out!!
   
3. Savings
   So far not bad; although not as what I want but at least I'm still there - few unexpected expenses but it's all for good stuff.
   
4. Reading
   Damn you, korean drama!! okay need to work on this.
   
5. Travelling
   Apart from the year-end expensive trip, I've made another unplanned and pretty expensive holiday and one short trip! but that's it - no more travelling in between. Maybe when the parents are in town, but let's see. For sure no more for myself!
   
6. Parents
   I spent a lot of time with the parents this year - dad being hospitalized also opened my eyes that I have to focus on them both! not just mum. I've also decided to go home every month. Okay, this is not travelling, this is daughter's duty! They're not getting younger so I aim to treasure and love and make them happy as much as I could
   
7. Computer
   I mentioned that this will be my Q2 target. Well, scratch that! I will make do with the computer I have now. I've spent the budget for my travelling so let's be patient.

my short term goal - lose another 5kgs by April!
Yes I know I can do it!

Be Patience

The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones ....                      - william faulkner

So I had a chat with my line manager last week, nothing firm came out of it. In fact it kinda defeated the purpose of my requesting for the chat. I wanted to say 'I want ownership on some project' but I put it out mildly and he ended up talking about technical stuff!
I wanted to follow up today, sending him email to say about ownership on reporting dashboard but halfway through composing, a dear ex-colleague texted asking me out for coffee. So met them and shared my plan. To which he said 'lay low for awhile, learn the situation and learn everything before rising up'. The company isn't doing well. The world isn't doing well and don't get caught up and ended up being in a situation you can't get out.
Good advice. So I went back to my desk and deleted that email.

Let me spend the next few months learning from the others. Let me spend the next few months displaying my worth. If there is a goal chat, talk about it .. if not, wait for mid-year review and bring it up again. 

Be patience for now; learn and move up ...

FLY

"you were born with wings, so why prefer to crawl through life?"  - rumi

Yesterday I had a chat with my medium boss - not big, not small but the medium one :)
He said that he believe I have a lot of potential, that I have a future ahead of me ... but I didn't sell myself well.
He said that although the team has high IQ, they're still lack of EQ and that he can see I have the level of maturity that is still lacking here. All I need is to sell myself.
He and the big boss trust I can do more, the big boss actually have high confidence in me but unfortunately I am not selling myself a lot .. so for now I am only seen as helping this and that, not leading not managing - just helping.
He told me that I have to initiate more, get the boss to assign more responsibilities to me instead of just helping this and that ...

I accepted all his criticism openly and admitted to myself that is true. In the beginning back in my previous job they said that they know I am good but they think I lack the confidence. Honestly if you give me things to do I will do it well - it's been proven again and again after back in the previous job; but this took awhile to happen because I didn't sell myself from the beginning.

So, do I want to repeat the same mistake? I thought of laying low on my 1st year and spend the time absorbing all the knowledge. But my medium boss thinks otherwise, he thinks I should start from now .. and this made me think hard yesterday. I do realised that the person who is at the same level as me are giving more responsibility, and that was because he was vocal since day 1. And I need to build relationship with my boss too .. I shall not make the same mistake happened twice!

So, I started today with requesting a meeting with my boss to discuss this. I will ask him what I was supposed to ask from day 1 - give me 3 things that you expect me to do; and please let me handle the reporting dashboard *this is something I have been wanting to say for awhile :)*

Ambitious

I always think I am a laid back person, but as the year goes by I realized one thing - I am ambitious!

So, I am just a team member in my new job. I can see few colleagues, one who joined on the same time as me leading the team. I know I can do that job, I have been leading and managing a job and I am itchy to do it again. But I also admitted the fact that this industry, this domain knowledge is very new to me whereas the team lead has all the experience already - either from within this company, or from the industry.

So I told myself this - give me 2 years to be greedy and learning everything there is to learn; then move on. To another team? To another firm? I have no clue.
If it's within the same firm, I would like to move back to investigations although my background is data. To be honest, I want a job that allows me to travel - unfortunately though the pay is much better, this place doesn't involved travelling.

I have gone through the list of available jobs in the market and I think I am to be a head of either risk or compliance related role. I know I can do it, all I need is the opportunity and the strong will to never give up.

But for now, I'll focus on learning.

I WILL Survive

Dad was hospitalized last week and so I went home, work from hospital to focus on him. All these while we always focus on mum, so I think in a way this is the only time dad received proper attention from us all.
Thankfully he is out and about, though we still will monitor him. And I intend to go home again this weekend - anything for my parents!

This caused a little set back on my savings target. I am not complaining, after all he spent all his money on us! I already told myself, cutting back 1/2 of my month property savings is not a big deal. BUT then I signed another contract with my trainer :( and this will set me back for 2 months. And I have few holidays in line.

It makes me re-assess my financial status and told myself, I will reduce my tight savings by 20% so that I have proper travel and emergency fund. That way when something comes up I don't have to change my monthly savings for property but just use this fund.

On another note, I have lost a few more .. not that significant but at least there is some progression.
As of this morning: 66.8kg (though the weighing machine in the locker showed 67 :|)

Starting point - 70.2
present - 66.8

Now, I am trying to be diligent .. I aim not to touch that savings still and live on $140 for the next 2 weeks - let's see .. let's see ... I WILL SURVIVE!