I've Been Punked

out of dozens of flats in this block, only 3 was selected and one of them was me. not only i got interviewed (i gave up and called them back after receiving 3 notifications) i was given a book to record my monthly expenses (though most of them was filled with '-' as come on, nursing home? student pass? concession pass? you have to be more selective in picking your random sample, eh) AND - this is the best part - i have to list down my daily expenses *in detail*. "you can't just write lunch, you have to specify what you have for lunch", the lady told me. and transport, how the hell do i know how much is the cost of each journey. all i know is i top up my card for certain amount on a weekly basic. this is to help identifying inflation and the CPI of this tiny red dot was the answer i got when asked what's the purpose of all these. oh well, you pick me you have to leave with it.

1. mrt to work - 1.36 (?? i think)
2. lunch (indian rojak, can't recall the name of each items) - 3.50
3. saturday's entry - in malaysia, used the ringgit exchanged yesterday
4. mrt to toa payoh - 0.89 (???)
5. dinner (batagor , indonesian dish) - 3
6. bus home - 1.30 (????)

good luck with my data!

on another note - i'm getting more and more concerned about my knee. it's been almost a week and it's still weak as ever. i feel the bone rubbing the knee cap with every movement i made. it feels sooo ngilu. the massage didn't help a lot and i've been living with counterpain and knee guard. to pleased my friends, i went to see a doctor. as expected she couldn't do much but advised me to take good care of it. oh, she did advise me to build the thigh muscles so as to lessen the pressure on my knees. and based on her observation, my left calf is smaller than the right one. guess i need to start doing weight training again to balance it out, eh. now i know why my trainer insisted on making my legs bigger - to balance my upper body, she said. and apparently to protect my knees as well. oh well, i kinda miss having that teardrop muscle anyway. i guess i have to stop talking and get into action.

Au Revoir Mon Rêve

until when ya? until when? i thought this could be it. this could be my ticket. but as usual, i thought wrong. it's just another crash boom bang ....

oh well, maybe it's not my time yet. maybe God loves me and wants me to master the art of patience perfectly. i'm not giving up, though. never!

An Overdue and A New Personal View

wasn't as bad a movie as i thought it would be. actually i kinda enjoyed it. good actor, nice storyline. and the twist! i wasn't expecting *that* to happen but it did and it made it more interesting. its just nice to see a movie portraying a superhero in dilemma, fighting an inner battle - i want to be good. but i have to bad. i don't want to get hurt. but i don't want to hurt. okay okay, i might be a bit exaggerating. -pic. courtesy of imdb.com

the simple storyline and naive *character* is the strength of this wonderful movie. not to mention the message behind the movie. i laughed, i pondered, i felt sad. and it's an animation! great animation to be exact. i hope kids who watch this movie gets the message. that aside, it's just nice to see a *couple* ignoring the *social status* gap between them. guess everything is created in pair that even a robot wants a partner to hold hands with *grin* - pic. courtesy of imdb.com

Travel Note - Genting Getaway

i can't recall how we ended up with this idea. all i could remember is that a few of us wanted to do some other place but it was cancelled and so in order to have one where all can make it, we have to do somewhere that doesn't require us to talk leave. and genting it is ....

it was a rush for me. mum grumbled on me going again after my diving trip. but then again, one couldn't make it end of august and i definitely can't make it next month. fasting month is just around the corner and i intend to keep a low profile during that month. and so... last week it was.

day 01 - 22nd aug 2008

left work at 6ish am and meet the other two before heading down to harbour front. there we boarded the coach to KL. reached KL around midnight and we waited for sal, who reached KL earlier to meet her families first, to arrive at the hotel before checking in. put our stuff and all we went out to enjoy the street at night and had a stopped for supper. walked around again and reached hotel around 4am. by then i started to feel a slight pain on my left knee. after teaching them how 'gambreng' works to determined who got the extra bed while others had to share the double bed, off we went to bed in preparation for the following day.

day 02 - 23rd aug 2008

wake up early, had our breakfast at the eatery opposite our hotel before heading down to pasarakyat for a coach ride to genting higlands. once arrived there we went straight to the outdoor theme park. by this time around my knee was killing me but i ignored it and simply walked slower than the rest. i was a bit frustrated when none of the shop there sells tiger balm. but the show must go on and we had a blast trying almost all of the game. two of us decided to take the corkskrew (aka the flying coaster) before lunch. it isn't as scary as it looks but it definitely is awesome! had lunch and by this time around i couldn't hold the pain any longer. i felt like crying 'cos i couldn't massage the pain. it's like the bone and my knee cap was rubbing each other. it's like living the pain mum has been facing all these years.

done with outdoor for awhile, we went indoor for archery. it was intertesting. we've been talking about trying this for *ages* and finally we did it! 37 arrows after we went to the indoor theme park as it was raining heavily outside. i really couldn't hold it any longer that we went to search for watson and yes, i got my balm! stopped for some drinks while i applied the balm on my knee only to be followed by the others who applied it on their shoulder or tummy, lol. everyone was sore in their own style. the plan was not to book a room there. well, we tried but it's all fully book so we went there with the idea of spending time until late and crash at a nearby coach waiting for morning to come. after spending time at the indoor theme park we went back to the outdoor park to collect the stuff they left in the locker. the area was crowded as apparently there's this hk (or taiwan? china?) actor's concert. got our back we went back inside and headed down to the cinema - Wall E time. yeah, it's playing there. movie wise, cute!

done with movie we went for a foot reflexiology where i got told off *again* to take care of my legs or it'd caused a lot of problem as i grow older. done with reflexiology, we went for supper as we didn't have dinner. by then our drama queen was kinda whining that we tried our luck and asked for a room. we got it! the world club room, supposedly one of the best room. checked in, put our stuff and went to walk around the casino. once done we went back and sleep. as none of us brought our stuff with us, we slept with what we're wearing. everyone smelled the same anyway.

day 03- 24th aug 2008

woke up waaay early as we kinda reserved seats on the earliest bus. had shower, had breakfast and off we went to the cable car station. once out of the cable car, one decided to take a look around while i went to the loo. done with my business i noticed two of them were still wandering around the stall and once we gathered one said she wanted to go to the loo first. alas, we missed the bus by 5minutes! oh well, we ended up walking around chitchatting. an hour gone by and we're on our way back to KL.

once we reached the hotel we took our back from the concierge and went to the loo. we didn't book a room so we had to change our clothes at the hotel restroom, hehe. done with changing we went to the coach counter and persuaded them to keep our bag for us. our coach is still like 6hrs away that we're rejected the first time we wanted to put our bag there.

off we went to KLCC for some shopping spree. haha, at least that's what we said. wandered around with my strawberry-filled dounut. we stopped at madam kwan's for lunch. this place was recommended by cin's boss so we thought of trying it - good decision as it is nice. done with KLCC we walked to the latest and biggest shopping centre in KL, wandering around before taking a coffee break. done, we walked back to the hotel and boarded the coach back home. back to reality.

it was a nice getaway. with each of us busy with our own activities, our own life, this trip was a great way of us catching up with each other more than just through emails, friday breakfasts, or monday tennis. got to know your friend's characters better as well. and most of all, each of us enjoyed this simple *away-from-the-red-dot* getaway. not to mention, i got myself a pair of sandal - just one, thanks for the warning from my friend :)

A Girly Getaway

pic. courtesy of yahoo!travel

Road Block

i was waiting for it eagerly, anxiously. excitement, worried, anxious; i'm feeling it all. i wanted to share this with my sister soo much, i wanted to share it with few close friends but i decided to wait a little bit longer. well 3 people knew about it but there's a reason why they were being told. i typed an email to my sister but decided to discard it. i don't want to be excited all to early. tomorrow, i can share it with others. or so i thought....

and now i have to wait a little bit longer. way longer. my life - what a wonderful life.

Travel Note - Dayang Dreaming

it was a great weekend, a weekend where i finally FINALLY got my open water certification. my dream since high school. a dream that kept on getting postponed until now.

prior to the weekend, i attended the class session and pool sessions. pool wise, i had another extra session as i was panic on the 2nd session. why? water kept on going inside my mask. not to mentioned my problem with mask clearing and mask removal. the easiest they said, for me that's the toughest.

a week prior to my trip, i found out about a diver who died during diving in that particular island. and on the morning of my trip, a friend reminded me about that incident with few additional info that made me freaked out. i ended up calling mum and dad asking for their blessing, giving a copy of my travel insurance to my workmates and non-stop praying. i tend to panic and my friend wasn't helping me with the info she gave me (she did apologies when i returned *safely*).

as for the trip? here it goes ...

day 01 - friday, aug 15th 2008

we gathered at the diving shop and left at about 7ish pm. made a stop to fix the hand break which was causing some burning smell. stop for supper and we arrived at mersing late night. as it was low tide so the boat couldn't get into the jetty, we ended up in a speed boat and changed to the boat in the middle of the ocean. reached pulau dayang at 4ish am we straightaway get ourself to bed for the following day.

day 02 - saturday, aug 16th 2008

after breakfast we get into the boat at 9am for our 1st dive at pulau lang. i was a bit nervous doing my 1st giant step in the ocean. i managed to do so and after calming myself i descended with the others. it was awesome. the fishes, the corals everything. we were welcomed by a bumphead fish which our instructor said was something fascinating as you seldom see them in that depth. somehow while swimming i ended up floating and couldn't get myself down. i couldn't do anything when i saw my instructor was swimming around looking for me. luckily one of the guy looked up and saw me, he came up and pulled me down. the dive continued with me floating up every now and then. it just get frustrated when the instructor was pointing an angel fish to us and up i went. i was told afterwards that it was due to my way of swimming. i need to learn flipping better.

back to the island for lunch. afterwards we did another dive at another location, this time it's at cador bay. here we did all the test we need to do for the certification. i was quite worried about the mask clearing but i managed to do it well. woohoo. 2nd regulator exchange, regulator retrieval and few other tasks then off we went for another diving around the area. of course me floating up here and there as well.

back to the island for tea break and off we went for our 3rd diving - captain's point. here we continued our task. the instructor asked us to do all within one day so that we could spend the next day simply enjoying the diving. i was a little panic here as we have to do mask removal. a little bit puzzled when i was only asked to do the hovering and pivoting. apparently she didn't want me to feel pressured doing the mask removal in front of everyone, so thoughtful of her. while waiting for the rest i was down below with her hubby, who is the advance open water instructor. him floating cross legged just reminded me of zeus, haha. once everyone were on the surface she came down to pick me up. that was when she asked me to do the mask removal. took it off and put it on and then i have problem with the mask clearing that i simply shot up. she approached me and asked if i'd like to do it on the following dive. i said yes, and continued with the cesa and tired diver tow tests.

back to the island - end of diving for us. we had dinner and chit chatted while waiting for the advance diver doing their night dive. somehow the accident story came up and i told them that i knew about it, how it made me panic now as i tend to shoot up without realising it (the accident was because the diver made a quick ascend and hit the boat).

day 03 - sunday, aug 17th 2008

we started early. first dive was at 7am. as per usual, we were briefed prior to the dive. we're told that this time around we're going 18m deep, no longer 12m deep. i was a bit restless because i still have the tendency to shoot up and with that depth i can't afford that, not if i want to avoid the decompression sickness not to mention the nitrogen narcosis *something like that*. and this time around we're no longer accompanied by bob, the buoyancy ball we hold on to once we're in the water. not to mention the water is very choppy. i was always the last one to go down because my buddy is my instructor. this time around she told me that i had to get in fast as everyone were drifting away. prior to this, while rigging i noticed something wrong with my tank and they had to change the o-ring. all these made me kinda panic but i jumped anyway. once in i felt the taste of my air was strange. my mind started to run wild that i kept on saying i wasn't ready to descend. she asked me to make up my mind fast as the rest were drifting further and further. i then decided to abort the dive and the boat came to pick me up. its better for me to abort the dive then continuing with panic. God knows what'd happened if i panic down there, and this is pretty deep - at least for me. apparently the funny taste was because i didn't drink enough water. and guess what, few minutes after they descended one by one popped up. apparently some got separated from their buddy and the visibility was very bad. the diving was then aborted. i made a right decision.

back for breakfast and we left again at 9.30am - pulau lang. this time around i had to do the mask removal. that or fail. the hubby was so cute, he came to me and said "you, don't kancheong. i saw you yesterday. you were pretty close". i did the removal but as usual had problem clearing the mask. i don't know.. it should be the easiest task but my mouth and nose never work great together. several times i wanted to descend but my instructor hold me and asked me to look into her eyes. anyhooo i made it! her hubby did some salto and chicken dance for me and guess what, the minute we started swimming a turtle came out from behind a coral and swam toward us. the instructor later said "even the turtle congratulated you. it was like 'finally!!'". i spent most of the time holding my instructor's hand though as once i was alone i floated. sooo frustrated. i've already given additional weight but still floated. one of the guy said its because of my flipping. seriously i need to practice more on this. did our equipment removal in water near the jetty. that completes our certification 'exam'.

after the dive we went back for lunch, had a shower and left the island.

it was a nice weekend. i am so blessed to end up having her as my instructor and the guys as my course mates - each and every one of them really took care of me. especially one of them who was always looking above for me and fetched me once he saw me there. my instructor said that i am the most determined student she's ever taught and she hoped to see me again. my answer was "definitely".

i want to do more leisure dive and i hope to do it with her. she's so patience and so loving. not to mention beautiful.i am just blessed to have her as my instructor.

(i)MPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING

a documentary on how the city of beijing prepared themselves for what could possibly be a once in a lifetime experience - hosting the olympic games. it shows how eager the chinese are on being a host, regardless their age. its about a grammar cop roaming around the city with only one mission on his mind - make no grammar mistakes, beijing. and i personally think it's more on perserverance, trying to achieve what was once thought impossible. hats off for their determination.

it can be considered as a comedy as it made me laughed occassionally. but it made me think as well. how eagerly those people are on being a good host. how strong their 'never give up' attitudes are; and i'm not talking about the youngsters here. there was also a scene where i couldn't help but shed a little *just a teeeny weeny* tears when the teacher advised them to think about their parents whenever they think/feel of giving up. imho, it's a documentary worth watching. and i'm just glad that my old man got the volunteering job! pic. courtesy of twitchfilm.net

... don't let grammars haunt you ...

Brief Post

very proud of you!! congratulations on perservering!!

that's what my instructor wrote on my diving log book. i can't believe i've managed the mask removal as well. and to think a turtle congratulated me for that! hahaha, well that's what my super duper patience instructor said. i have yet to conquer my panicky stage, though. and i know that i will eventually come out as the winner.

i'll definitely blog about the whole trip for my remembrance. just not now. there's loads of house chores awaiting me.

Wish Me Well

i never felt this stress for a getaway before. actually, its more like feeling pressurise because i still haven't master the mask clearing - which is said to be the easiest of all - properly. sometimes i did it without knowing how i managed to do so. once i think about it, that's it - breathe from mouth, blow from nose. and with those not so nice stories i've been told about ...
it's supposed to be fun! if i can't do it or if i start to panic i'll just signal the instructor. those stories are just stories, i can not think too much about it. God is my trusted protector ...

pic. courtesy of virtualtourist.com

Mantra

i need to control my panic when water came in. i need to learn to clear my mask. i need to learn blowing properly. i need to learn breathing from my mouth. i need to stay calm all the time. i need to learn to stay at one spot instead of moving around.

look at her now - if it takes her 15yrs to be certified i too can be one!

i'm in control of myself. i'm in control of my equipment. i'm comfortable with my equipment. i have perserverance like what she said. i'm good! i can do it. jia you! ganbatte! SAYA BISA!

Panic Attack

mrt stalled in the tunnel - i panic. crowded lift and it stopped to move - i panic. cu chi tunnel - i panic *shame!shame!shame!*. basically, i panic easily when i'm stuck in a confined space, especially when it's small and dark. not only that, being very imaginatively creative makes me panic more when all i could imagine about is the worst case scenario. this is so not good; the break pedal must be stepped on.

so yesterday when i started to have that feeling, i tried hard to calm myself. i let my brain do the talking, pushing the imaginations away. i managed to be calm a bit and i hope i can stay the same or maybe even better later. God knows what's in store for me later.

In a Fantasy Land

its been ages since my last historical romance meal that i decided to put down the book i was reading halfway and move to ms. lindsey's latest book. well actually its more like i saw it in the library, so i picked it up and brought it home.

ms. lindsey can never fail me. the anticipation as usual is not on how the ending is because, well, it's always a happy ending or else it wouldn't be called romance for nothing. the journey towards the ending is what made me finished reading fast. if i didn't stop myself i could just spend one sleepless night for this. with my own imagination skill, raphael and ophelia's story is just so enjoyable to read. oh well, they don't call it historical romance for nothing

pic. courtesy of simonsays.com

Being 30

nope, not me - i'm way over that....

a friend of mine more than half a year ago but eversince then she couldn't help relating almost everything to that. getting tired too often - maybe it's the age when she's been out and about a lot. wanting almost everything - it's the age. can't stop eating - 30. connecting the existence of cellulite with the age. yada yada yada...

well yes i've been told to take care of myself before reaching that age because once you're there you'll encounter loads of issue - back ache, slower metabolism, and all sort of things. i did search on the cellulite thingy and apparently cellulite is at its max when you're 30 years of age. mmm, i couldn't help my self but wonder how it was like for me 4 years ago, hitting 30 and all that. thank god for diary, i managed to know how i felt, hiks, i'm now 30. i have to behave and dressed more like my age now - THAT's all i wrote!!

oh well i guess being 30 for me is just .... being 30!

Divine Intervention

just when i thought of telling my parents about it once i'm done, mum called today telling me that she's treating me a trip to go home since there's some airline promotion. with that i had to tell her my plans for the coming weeks - including one that i planned to tell only when it's over to avoid any disapproval or making them worry. as expected, i got the "why are you always up for nonsense?" comment - two weeks earlier.

somehow i have a feeling that the big guy upstairs are smiling. yes i know, i can never keep a secret from my parents, especially mum.

On Singfest, Friendship and Pocket

i had a wonderful weekend!!

went for singfest yesterday, leaving the house at 9ish in the morning to meet the others for brunch beforehand. the event itself was great, money well spent - i can say that. pity that singapore has no proper place for an outdoor concert, though. i mean fort canning is good for musical, theatre, dance etc but for some pop/rock kinda concert? errk, those buildings in between just make it too pack. nonetheless i enjoyed it so much. gotta give 2 acts a miss because i had to attend a friend's birthday party. oh well, not that i'm a great fans of those 2 performers anyways. back in time to catch rick astley and i'm happy. yupe, he is the main reason for me going to the event. yes he's old but i like his songs when i was in secondary school. its quite funny though to see only a handsfull of people know his songs. i'm darker for sure, but i'm happy! all i need now is to upload all the videos to flickr (if you know my yahoo id or my nick, what bk stands for, you should be able to view it as well) or maybe facebook for my sister, let her burn with envy haha.

during the break between acts, cin talked to me about what she came to her mind in the birthday venue. how few people there who used to be close friend are no longer *that* close, if not acting like a stranger to each other - some due to relationship problem (hence my believe in thinking twice about turning friendship to the next level) while others due to some expectation issue. how she realised that two of us were the only one who's still as close as we were the first time we joined the group.

it's true though; i learnt a lot lately mostly on not having any expectation on anyone, about trusting your friends and understanding each other more. yes we have disagreement, but we work things out and learnt from our mistakes and move on. in fact, it makes the friendship stronger as we know the other party better as a person - as a friend. i hope i will never have an estranged relationship with any friends of mine. if i make a mistake, i'd rather be told off so i know my wrongs instead of friend(s) holding grudges on me. friendship is something i treasure as much as i treasure my family. okay, no need to be mellow. next ....

and now being sleepy and all, i made a point to write down all my weekend expenses in between doing the analysis (my way to avoid getting headache seeing all those numbers) and oh yeah, i spent a bomb during the weekend. paying the singfest ticket, food, taxi and stuff; not to mention i just registered for a course that isn't that cheap as well. nope, NO REGRETS. just need to tighten my spending and cut down calling home ...

Ironic

i bumped into a friend earlier today. i was surprised to see the new her - she looks good. actually, she looks great. of course i asked her what's the secret. ironically, she told me that she's doing what i did before - exercise and healthy diet. i couldn't get that thought out of my head afterwards - i still can't get it out of my head now. isn't it sad when you motivate people and yet you yourself is no longer in that state. i know now what it feels like to be becky - being someone who no longer practice what she preaches. will i ever get motivation back?

August 1st 2001

my nephew's 7 years of age today. i can't believe how fast he has grown. at times i talk to him like he is still a toddler, much to his annoyance. our phone conversation is more meaningful nowadays, though sometimes it could lead to some mini argument. lol, can't believe he's 7 today. i'm glad that my card reached him a day earlier, at least you know i still think of you eventhough i didn't fulfill your wish of my coming home, eh. my, just few weeks ago i was amazed with the fact that he's in primary 2 and today - 7 !! i guess i have to start preparing myself with the fact that soon i have to respect him as a young man. love love love my nephew a lot. happy birthday, kiddo! *mmmuuuaaaccckkkksss*