Prepare for Glory

for the 100th time - 300 is a good movie!! the phantom is back as king leonidas. and i don't know how many more time should i tell my friends and families to go and catch it. yes it's a bit brutal, but then again they're at war. it's also loaded with guys with not 6 but 8 packs! wonder what they eat and how the exercise to achieve that. SPARTAAAAN!!

The Other

all this while i've been living by letting 'the other' get the best of me. i am so used to hiding my vulnerability, my weakness, my eagerness on certain aspects just so that people think of me as someone who is brave and strong. all because i don't want to have people looking at me negatively. after reading this book, i tried to let the other sit in one corner and be the person i want to be, enjoy living and not afraid of asking silly question. in other words, i don't judge myself. i learn to let the child in me live. i'm willing to let my vulnerability known to others. i feed myself by letting all my eagerness free. and i really put into action the things i want to do, straight away instead of reconsidering again. of course, all these things i do is within my religion, family, and the society limit. nothing dodgy. it has a good if i can't say great result for myself. and just like they said, when we start realising our dreams, the Universe somehow conspires to help us making it come true. alhamdulillah. i've take the first step and i hope i continue taking it further instead of letting 'the other' get hold of me again.

Smoking Caused Cancer!

so i ended up walking to caltex house. i remember getting a flyer of some driving simulator with a full size formula 1 car yesterday and i wanted to see how it is. at the same time i remembered that i need to stock up some products from tbs. and you know what? well actually i read in yesterday's paper about how some kids couldn't sleep after seeing the government campaigns against smoking. apparently they put a picture of one of the patients with her mouth kinda full of blood? not too sure as the picture is not that clear. But oh but, today right there under the big screen, is the lady complete with the oxygen bottle, and few nurses around her. some other nurses are distributing flyers to those passer-by. the patient seemed so restless, guess the weather and the crowd is not on her favour as well. being kaypoh, i passed by after getting my lunch. but the nurses was busy opening the partition and covering her with it. guess she needs some attention. but i really really salute this lady for agreeing to become a model (should i say spokewoman?) for the government campaign against smoking. very good!

Random Thoughts

been awhile eh. well, blog for me is to express my thoughts, feelings, anger, restlessness, everything! so sometimes i will end up writing about those un-important things, just like now. but still i hope i will continue writing here so that one day in the future i can look back and remember my life, the ups and downs, the un-important things i do, the useless or not so useless thoughts of mine and laugh about it. its definitely something priceless for me. oh well ...
finally i'm going for a level-1 rock climbing course. once done, they will issue a certificate that is recognised by singapore mountaineering or something like that. not sure if this means we can start doing some rockclimbing outside, though. but still i'm excited and can't wait for saturday to come. this 5 hours course will surely give me muscles soreness, especially that it's been a while since i do proper weight training. preparing myself for a stiff muscles, i've declined the meetups a friend organised in the evening. better be safe than sorry, eh.
it's lunch time and i still have no idea what to eat. part of me wants to ask someone out for lunch but another part of me wants to have a quality time with myself. i might end up with walking around and pack lunch. see, now my neighbour is echoing my earlier question 'what to eat, ya?' well, 6 minutes pass our lunch time now - still not sure what's for lunch...

Open Road

had a lunch with my aunt. talk about her kids. their gf. her ex. her hubby. her life. my life. my plan. my family. few advice. basically it's always nice catching up with her. back to the office and received an email from a friend. combining all these together, including the conversation i had with mom yesterday makes me feel something is answered. lots of maybes. lots of possibilities. but you won't know if all these are true until you find out for yourself. for now, just take it all as a motivation to keep your spirits high. just keep on walking down the open road...

Chat in the city

we do dinner. we do lunch. we do meetup during work hours to pass something or to get something together. and now we do breakfast!!
the idea has been there for quite sometime and somehow it was brought up again recently. okay. 7.45 am mcDonalds on friday. then came the reminder yesterday. 7.30 for those staying closer, including me. i was like, what? well .. let's try.
woke up at 6 am. turned off the alarm and sleep again. 6.45 am! get ready quickly and went to the breakfast place only to find that i am the 1st person to arrive. haha. breakfast was great, we chit chatted until it was almost 9 then we parted ways. decided to make this a weekly event. i'll see you guys again next friday!

Blessing in disguise

*life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant*
you pray to God asking for something. you know that your prayer is not a selfish prayer, it will benefit others that you care. it didn't get answered. you wondered why but you keep on including it in every prayer. no answer still. suddenly an unexpected event occured. those involved dealt with it. everyone came out feeling relieved. few of them involved started to think about it. how the event changed certain things. a better changes. and how it made them smile. then you realised - that was just what you asked God for. it is answered!!. in His own way and His own time. life is a mystery, indeed. Just keep having faith in whatever your religion is. God knows the best for His people. He is afterall the creator and owner of the Universe.

A family affair

my uncle's wife called me on mon. there's a maulid in their house on wed night. do come if you can, we understand if you can't make it. missing this? especially knowing what a good cook my aunt is? no way!
so yesterday, i went straight home after work. got change and walked to my uncle's place which is just few blocks away. i decided to come early in case my presence is needed. another 2 aunties were already there and together we finished the kitchen work. to be honest, i just can't wait for the time we sit together for dinner. the smell of the foods really tempted me.
one by one people from the dzikr group my uncle joins arrived and then came the prayer. did the prayers together and the maulid start. what a wonderful joy indeed. i like this group as they will give everyone the opportunity to recite, that is only if they want to. you'd hear a lot of 'next, next, next' when it comes to taking turn. after the marhaban *the fun part was when someone passed around putting some non-alcoholic perfume on your hand* and the 'maulid drink' *well in my family, we normally drink home-made shorbat after maulid*, i went back to the kitchen to help the other aunties preparing the meal. it was fun, working together - putting each stuff in one tray and handed it to the uncles who will then put it on the carpet for the guests to eat. by 10ish, when everyone was done with their dinner but still hang around for some discussion we started to prepare a tray for our own dinner. but then few uncles told us to prepare few more trays of food and more tea. err, apparently few guests enjoyed the food that they were asking for 2nd round. lol - there goes our meal. we ended up eating at close to 11. of course, i've been popping up the cakes and fruits in between helping that i didn't feel starving when we finally sat together for our dinner. i ended the dinner by having tea with milk, trust me.. when it comes to tea with milk, nothing beats the tea from coconut tree brand *available in sheng shiong, bit of promotion here ;)*. went home with a pack of porridge for my breakfast and great satisfaction. with a family like this, who could ask for more. i love my family!!

My ex PT

just checked my email on hotmail and i was surprised to get one from june saying that she's in thailand for 4 weeks of muay thai training. whoaaa!! she finally did it herself. i remember during those days when i was still training with her, we shared a lot of similar dreams. attending capoeira class - she went for it, i still haven't sign up. taking a 2 weeks leave to attend muay thai training - she's doing it now, i still have no guts to do so. adventurous weekend trip - i did it with someone else, she couldn't skip her class. gosh, i am so very proud of her. when she didn't reply to my text i thought she's away for a week trip. i haven't meet her for ages that i don't know what's been happenning in her life. now that she's a group X instructor, i hardly see her online or in raffles branch and i myself hardly goes to other branches. really miss those days spent talking about all these stuffs. really really should force myself to wake up & attend her morning class once she's back in town. talking about people realising their dreams to make their life more interesting, eh.

Back To Monday ...

how's everyone doing? i for one had a great weekend. let's see ..
movie on friday. supposed to watch this movie, but ended up with this movie on saturday . another movie at night. sent switch off to ireland. brunch. dinner with the girls. thanks to jen, retirement conversation *imagine that!!*. dvd i've been eyeing for ages *let's hope there's an english subtitles though*.
all in all i'm just glad God gives me a great opportunity to live, and hopefully another year to be spent more responsibly. i've read somewhere that when you feel time passes by fast, that's because you're used to the day to day routinity that you don't feel the challenge of living. so maybe its great to do something different once in a while? hmm.. well, its time to get back to work for now... have a great week ahead!!

Roadmap to a Better Life

Earl won a lottery and withink a split second *well not really, but this sounds better* he was hit by a car, lost his ticket, hospitalised, and his wife divorced him. back home he watched TV and learned about something called karma, what goes around comes around. so he listed all his bad behaviour and went out in the pursuit of fixing all the problem he had caused people. nothing special indeed. but if only everyone follows earl's path, wouldn't this world be a better place to live in?of course, it would be impossible to list all the bad things you do and go out to fix them. but it's not impossible to start doing things right. clear your mind, clear your heart of any envious feeling. just be happy with what you have but still follow your dreams.

with that kind of thought i reached the office only to find a big bag on my desk. a box of chocolates and few mangoes from one of my colleague - a pressie for my day which is still days away. then my uncle - someone i am not close to back home - just texted me wishing me happiness. sweet

Sweet Indeed

was busy finding out about the datetimepicker when jn suddenly sametimed me
jn : i need to talk to you, can see you outside now?
me: okay, meet you at the toilet
i was wondering what went wrong, so there i was at the ladies and she ushered me out to the other door and we walked to the staff lounge. i sensed something wrong and i was quite curious that i asked her whey
jn: sn. surprise
me: what's wrong with sn? is she pregnant
jn: no, surprise
me: don't tell me she's resigning
then when we reached the lounge, i saw sn sitting in one corner, a piece of cake with a candle in front of her. ah!! what she meant was a surprise for me from both of them.
well, honestly i haven't been talking much at the office for the past few weeks. i just feel that sometimes i'm opening myself too much to my own disadvantage. hence i started to refrain from sharing my non-work related thoughts and/or plans with others. few of them call me at night asking if there's something wrong, especially those that sits around me - they miss the stories, that what the said, hehe. i told them honestly that i'm just trying to be someone who talks less. in truth, i've learnt my lesson - that's all i can say.
nevertheless, it was a sweet surprise. i can expect this from jn, but from sn that's what makes me more surprise. so after blowing the candle, divided the cake into 3 and ate it, we spent quite some time there talking about general stuffs. it's been awhile since i talked to sn about general stuffs. sn laughed when we told her at first i thought that she's pregnant or resigning. like she said resign? possible .. pregnant? too old for that, haha. simple yet a sweet surprise. thanks again ...

I Found IT!!

taman ria senayan. may/aug 1998. with fringe. without braces. before weight fluctuation. after the roller coaster ride.
not much changes, eh? looking forward for more years to come.

purpose of life

only those who find life find treasure - paulo coelho

the day mom went home, andres passed away.
next week switch is heading to ireland for a year of scholarship.
and now ally has moved to hongkong and will be there for 2 years at least.
me? still stuck in this red dot island for God knows how long. last night, the plane was empty *well, reckon people are scared to fly garuda for the time being* so i moved to the seat by the window, looking at the darkness outside while my minds busy with a lot of thoughts.
i used to wonder about friends who went through certain stuff in order to find their purpose of life. and you know what? i think i'm beginning to be like them. is this what i want to do for the rest of my life? lots of thoughts remain unanswered. well for now i'll just follow wherever the wind blows. err.. actually for now i have to get back to clearing the 900ish email in my office mail. sorry folks, all non-work related will be sent directly to trash...

season of life

Thomas Listen. Listen. There are times when life calls out for a change. A transition. Like the seasons. Our spring was wonderful, but summer is over now and we missed out on autumn. And now all of a sudden, it's cold, so cold that everything is freezing over. Our love fell asleep, and the snow took it by surprise. But if you fall asleep in the snow, you don't feel death coming. Take care - paris, je t'aime
thanks to a dear friend who remembers this quote in complete..

a week's recap

so i went home last week and spent the next 6 days at the hospital. see mom, being single still has its advantage. you don't have to worry about anything when i am the one spending my nights at the hospital. the operation was done on monday. we were quite worried when the operation that was supposed to be around 1 - 2 hours lasted longer. apparently the surgeon said mom's was a bit complicated as her gall bladder was surrounded by fat. at the same time she has her hernia removed as well. after she'd been stitched up, the surgeon checked by pressing her tummy and that was when he found another hernia on her right side and they had to open and did another removal. anyways, everything went smoothly, alhamdulillah. i spent my last night home watching video of the surgery. there were lots of fats in her that need to be burnt to reach the gall bladder. so i guess some fat burning was done to her too - 3 in 1! imagine that :). once home, typical mom, she started doing cooking and others when she wasn't allowed to. ended up in the emergency on saturday night as her dressing fell due to lots of movement.
she left the hospital on thursday so i have the opportunity to meet my friends on friday. yippee.
met juwi first at ps (plaza semanggi?? :D) then we went to citos where we waited for biki to arrive before heading for our dinner. meetup was great as usual, and we did lots of talking. someone need to unbotton something while the other one need to fasten something during the meetup. it was fun as usual. we took the opportunity of this meeting to take pictures at a nearby photobox. i wish i could find the pictures we took before my leaving to batam. *i posted the 3rd picture right?*
overall my trip home was good, i managed to spend time with my niece, sent my nephew to his sempoa and piano class, and spent time with lots of relatives who came to visit my mom. thanks to all my sweet friends who kept on messaging me asking about my mom - very sweet of you guys. bisous

Jakarta, Je T'aime

its my first time taking morning flight home. reached home *see, now i'm blur where is the real home* late, i decided not to sleep and do some laundry while packing at the same time. i know its a bit crazy for me still being out when i'm supposed to be home early doing my packing. i simply can't help it, i've already made this appointment even before the lunar new year holiday to catch this movie. a very interesting movie if i may say so. i know it's a bit eccentric that quite a number of people left the cinema during the show but hey, i love it and i'm not the only one here. met ally's sis as well after months of planning.
so here i am, waiting for boarding in few minutes time i hope. honestly i kinda have a mixed feeling going home this time around. happy that i'd be able to see mom but at the same time sad that two of my dear friends are leaving singapore for good and i wish i could spend time with them before they fly off. but honestly, i just can't wait to be home and see mom.
ahh, here comes the boarding call .. bisous

Home Again ...

so its confirmed. i'd booked a ticket to go home tomorrow morning. the agency had sent it to my office few hours ago. mom should be undergoing the endoscopy now. hopefully the hernia isn't causing so much problem and that the laparoscopy can be done within few days time. and yet i'm still going out tonight. i'll be away for a week but hopefully i am back just in time meeting my friends that are moving out of singapore. have a great weekend all. bisous

The Sky Is Falling

everyone around me seems to have a great start in 2007. new job. new life. new country. i'm just stuck stuck and stuck. note to myself :- stop being a robinhood, sometimes being selfish has its perfect justification.