a small world indeed ..

yesterday i met my flatmate's friend. well, her face seemed pretty familiar that after digging my brain for quite some time i remembered seeing her face in my flatmate's friendster.
yesterday too i saw a cute guy which again seemed pretty familiar. today i met him again and just realised he used to be a staff here. i noticed him because i remember telling my workmate that finally i saw a good looking guy in the firm.
and today, again i saw someone who looked familiar. kept on thinking why he look familiar until it hit me - that he used to be my uni friend's crush. finally i saw him in person after all the stories i heard about him ;).
God knows who i'll be seeing next.

PRISONBREAK ..

this series really got my mind did what i'm good at - imagining things. being a what-will-it-be-if-i-am person, watching this series last night kept my mind imagining what will it be like living in a prison. everything seems perfectly organised - wake up, shower, breakfast, work, lunch, rest, exercise or just hang around with others, shower, dinner, tv (maybe?), sleep. as boring as it is i couldn't help wondering how you could sleep without thinking on how to solve the problem at work tomorrow, chasing deadline, how to deal with those annoying IT guys (okay, guy), what meal should you have tomorrow, what to do during the weekend, and all other stuff. hmm, maybe not too long staying in a prison though. what crime should i do if i want to stay there for .. say .. 2 weeks?. murder or drugs? no way jose! (although my imagination ran wild on who and how to murder, would i be caught since i definitely have no criminal records *and help me God will never have*). shoplifting!!! hmm .. if i were a shoplifter what will i steal? hmm, how would it be like being caught and questioned in a police station? will i be cane? will i be beaten up (nah, i'm not in my country)?.
imagine how my parents and friends will react if they knew what happen to me. will they visit me? will they disowned me? once i'm out - will i be alone & ended up with nowhere to stay? what will it feel sleeping in a house made of box? what will it feel searching for a job from scratch?
haha, this reminds me of a what-ifs i had when i was in primary school. what would it beif i left home, worked as a maid to a foreign family staying in permata hijau area, and ended up being adopted and follow them back to their country.
oh man, i'm starting to remember all other what-ifs i ever thought of. nah .. stop it!! stop!

WHEN

• you help someone, don't expect anything in return
• you are open, describing your daily activities, sharing your dreams & thoughts; don't expect the other party to do the same in return
• you prioritise a person, don't expect to be on top of their priority list
• you are faced with a black face, just take it that the other party is having a bad day
• you are given an annoying respond, just assume the other party is just not in the mood to talk
• in doubt, always wear black ;)

trust me, your life is a lot simpler and joyful ...

ouch ...

it started few weeks (or months?) ago when i attended the abt (abs, bums, and thighs) class. after ages of not attending it i felt a string of excitement. this was the class which i religiously attended during my gym freak days. from sweating like mad to doing the movement without feeling much soreness, i love this class to bits. so when i attended it again, forgetting that i have to so call started from zero, i did all the stuff attended for those advance level instead of sticking to the beginners movement. once the class was over i felt some soreness on my left bums. few days went by and it's confirmed i sprain my bum muscle, first time in my life. deep heating rub, koyo didn't help at all. went to the strecthing area, looking at the diagram there i couldn't find any strect movement aimed for those area :(. i tried all sorts of stretching i knew that is supposed to target that area with no avail. my mistake was i continued doing my monday running and kinda forced myself running nonstop when i started to feel the muscle started to pull until my lower back. combat was a different story, always felt a bit out of balance when i did the kicking with my right leg. another problem, i lost the masseuse phone number!
well, life goes on and i was beginning to feel tha pain as part of me and continue the daily activities like nothing happened. until last saturday. inside the car, due to my way of seating, i so-called put all my weight on my left leg and it fireback pretty good. my left knee totally gave in and i could feel the pain in the bone, no longer muscle but the bone. my god it hurts like hell. my mom's side has a history of leg problem that i think i should take this seriously. this morning i woke up early for pump, started to do some squatting movements and since there's no pain i get readied, went down and waited for a cab. what do you know, there's no cab until 6.40 that i went up and continued my sleep. i guess its good that i didn't attend the morning class 'cos my knee is not that cure yet. called my auntie for help, hope they get the masseuse phone number soon. i guess i have to take things slow, more of brisk walk and less of running later .. after all it's fasting month

oh well ...

when, like gucci sunglasses and prada handbags, time poverty is now a status symbol, why must we act like we have no spare time and feel proud of it? why must someone feel proud when in order to make an appointment with him/her the other party must change the suggested date to at least three times? what happen to making time for your friend and family?

if you had enough shoes and ate at enough amazing restaurant there was no need to feel bad. okay, i agree on shoes to help ease some stress but what happen to fixing your life the proper way. when you feel bad about something, change it. when you feel bad about someone, do something. i just feel that we have to feel bad about something once in a while so that we could grow as a person.

just having all these thoughts while reading a book, a chicklit book to top that!

Marhaban ya Ramadhan

ramadhan is just around the corner, time for us moslems to reflect on all our action, me especially. time to practice on being more humble, discipline, patience, and be closer to your creator. hopefully all the things you do in the coming month will stay with you for good.
so to those observing the fasting is this holy month, i wish you all a wonderful ramadhan. may we achieve all the best in this holy month. we wouldn't know if we were given a chance to meet another ramadhan.

ps.
for those who might've been offended by me intentionally or unintentionally, be it by my words, posts, comments, behaviour, or even body language - i apologize sincerely.

good morning singapore!!

back from my short trip home. spent most of the time with my nephew. sent him to school, slept with him, luckily i could skip sending him to his piano class - my dad got the priviledge here, hehe. yeah, my sis was asked to go to the hospital on thursday only to be sent home again. her gynae, who's my mom's gynae as well is a very conventional man who never want to interrupt God's plan with doing caesarean, induction, and stuff unless it really need to be done. so my sis was asked to go home and rest at home. was almost disappointed on not being able to be around during the delivery until saturday night when i was out with the girls and called home only to hear my dad saying my sis had waterburst. went straight to the hospital where i heard she had the real waterburst (so what was the 1st one? i have no idea). went home and spent another night with my nephew. the following morning while i was having shower my nephew knocked the door and said "aa, baby come out already. a girl". finally!! a healthy baby weighing 4 kg (!!) and 52 cm long. oh and my sis told me that the gynae poke the water during delivery, so i wonder what the first 2 water was. she looks like her bro with her very fair skin and reddish hair but a higher nose (good good). nadya azzahra waterkamp (first flower of the waterkamp) or nadya shazadi waterkamp (first princess of the waterkamp) is still under consideration, though i voted for the 1st one together with my sis' father in-law whereas my dad chose the 2nd one. not sure what mom, her mother in-law, and her brother in-law will choose though, let's see what the outcome is. well azzahra is common but shazadi is unique and the waterkamp surely has no princess yet in their family before this little girl's arrived. I am happy, I'm pretty sure my sister feels her life is complete now. the next trip home I have to get use to calling my nephew bhai now that he's a big brother, haha..

when it's not meant to be ...

a: are you sure they are together? seriously together?
b: well, it seems so. he finds her worth it. though maybe not that serious, lets just hope that he is happy.
a: sigh, i always thought that you and him will end up together
b: haha, that won't happen. honestly i thought of that possibility as well, but as i get to know him i thought less about that possibility. furthermore he is now involve with someone else.
a: but still, you two look great together
b: nah, let go of that dream of yours. when it's not meant to be it's just not meant to be.

so yes my friend, i'm letting go of that dream. and i hope others who have the same dream as me will let go of it as well.

follow your heart

sometimes you just feel that you're the loneliest, unluckiest person on earth. but what you didn't realise is that those that looks happy might not be. those that is rich might feel insecure about something else. and of course, those that looks unhappy might actully be the one that is leading a lovely life. maybe whatever state you're in right now is just a step before something good. just have faith in yourself and do what you think is best for you. of course, lowering down your expectations helps a lot. i know, i know .. easier said than done

...

in few hours time i'll be on a plane back home. yeah, can't wait for that. my sister will be admitted tonight as per her gynae's advise, so i hope the baby is kind to be and make her grand exit/entrance (whichever you like) when i'm there. too bad i'm going to miss the 8 pm rockstar finale. well actually, supernova should've chosen their lead singer now but i'm not going to spoil the thrill by going to their website. last night show was exciting, at least for me. first, mig ayesa was there. same old mig, bit gayish with his brit accent. i love him when he was in the 1st season of rockstar, great personality great singer, sweet hubby. his album will be out next year. then, to top it all ryan was there as well. performing his original which was the fans favourite and won himself a car. wow!!

those small little things ...

friday night during my taxi ride, the driver started talking about the flowers outside. basically he's more on complaining how the government spent tremendously for the IMF meeting when those flowers wouldn't last even for a week. the following day, in another taxi ride along ECP i started to look at those flowers and trees and it just struck me. i never noticed this kind of thing for the past 7 years of living here. i remember back when my grandparents were still alive, i always looked forward to visiting this little country. once out of the airport i would enjoy looking at the beautiful green trees and flowers along the journey back to grandpa's. at night me and few of families would stroll along mountbatten rd simply enjoying the tranquility of that area. how i take for granted all these once i live here. during our run yesterday, i started to pay more attention at the view surrounding me, not much but still the breeze after the rain and running along the sea really made me feel more at peace. i guess it is worth the effort of paying attention to all those stuff that i normally take for granted.

monday blues

its monday again, somehow i started the week with my spirit down a teeny bit. not sure why, it could be due to the book i was reading (which should be a motivational book) or the email i read about a friend who's feeling down. well, truth be known i've been starting to go down the memory lane which i actually had never imagine could happen again. it's just me being me with all the what ifs though i know for a fact that i might not want the what ifs to turn out to be real. hmm.. tough! but it should be fine later. somehow the monday run has become a ritual again, though this time around i run with my office mates. i have given up waiting for cin & jen to finish work and start the run at 7.30ish.
weekend was good if not great. had dinner with sw on friday followed by spending the night waiting for her favourite band to perform. was quite a surprise when someone suddenly talked french to me. apparently it's the friend of one of the french guy's i met few months back and sw told him about my french thingy. of course after the brief french introduction, i insisted to speak in english. not going to embarass myself, eh. yeah, surprisingly we met them and a bunch of others that were quite close to sw that we ended up staying a little bit more. from another 5 minutes to another song to another until i insisted on going home that we really went home.
had a lunch with ally on saturday. it's been ages since i last met him so the lunch was a very good way of us catching up. he's still the same old person with the same old stuff, with some new stories to share though. funny how he was always a bit embarass when telling me the whole truth that he normally find the words carefully before telling his story but this time around he accidentally spilled the beans and felt pretty darn embarrassed afterwards. it's true though that we kinda miss the small group thingy now that everyone's pretty busy. even i did my catching up with each of them personally instead of in a group. from lunch we went around for some shopping, i have to say it's fun shopping with a metrosexual guy (he's gonna kill me if he know me saying this). parted ways in the evening as he had some farewell to go so i went to my aunt's place for my grandparents hall. fasting month is coming and it's good to meet everyone before that as well.
spent the whole sunday at home. supposed to go to the dragonboat's brunch but i was too lazy that i simply called and cancelled. the maid *as usual* couldn't come, so spent the sunday doing ironing and some readings.
as for my monday blues? i guess time will solve everything and i'm just going to restrain from thinking and talking about things that could bring my mood lower..

my source of sanity ...

bumped into cin twice in a row during lunch. was about to go to the river and read my book and at the same time clearing my mind when i saw her again yesterday. the sun was blazing furiously that i decided to forgo the river and walked around with her instead. after all the catch up we did over the weekend, there's still a lot more to talk about.
today, was a bit down without any good reason that again, i decided to go and sit by the river. forget the blazing sun, forget reading my book. all i want is simply a nice and peaceful lunch by the river and just let my mind run free. still not sure on what to have for lunch, i walked around looking for some idea when i ended up at the same place i bumped into cin yesterday. the river will still be there tomorrow, what i want now is something that could lift my spirit up again. left the place with a little peace in my mind and a new entry in my next credit card statement. ah, the power of shoes.

it's tough being human (or is it not?)

when you are in a certain state that you know is unhealthy, you tried your very best to outgrow that stage. when you know it's tougher that you expected, you forced yourself to do more to outgrow it. then you're there - though as and when you still take a peek to it, you've outgrown it. you can even said that you're done. suddenly came the test, you're no longer in that stage so you never thought of it and when you realised it's actually tickling you back to that stage, you thought "hey, it's a good way of testing if you really are out of that stage". of course, it took few days prior to accepting the challenge. you've confirm accepting the challenge and without realising it, you brought yourself a little bit back to that stage. though you know how wrong being back there you couldn't resist and just wanted to have fun with it. deep down you knew that you definitely will be the winner of this challenge. then came something that you didn't expect. well actually you yourself thought of it first when the test came. but then again you feel that you're back to square one. a little bit but still the thought of you heading back that road is something very unforgiven.

life is tough indeed. but you have to pull yourself stronger and look around you. there's more tough things happenning to everybody else. yours is nothing compared to whatever others are facing. count your blessings..

good mooorniing!!

2 more days to weekend.
now that there's only 4 left in singapore i decided to follow until final. well, some of them improve compared to all the comments i read about them earlier.

oh and i just got an email - something a bit (okay, quite) disappointing, but life goes on. my mood on blogging is now gone but i do have to force myself not to think about this since i know perfectly well it will be like that forever (never say forever? well probably forever then).

anyways...
due to following singapore idol, i missed rockstar. well, there's always the 3rd and 4th telecast but i was too tired to wait up for it. after all i can always watch it from the website.

wwhhhhuaaaahhhhhhhhh....

finally everything is really *i hope* back to normal. after spending the whole day with our vendor and the rest of the afternoon running around, i am now back to my own desk. i hope nothing bad will happen again. just less than 2 month before being decomissioned the system really made me crazy, i guess that's its way in saying goodbye?
so, closing postponed which means without needing to ask i too have to postpone my leave. just looking at the bright side of it - it's launch week!! pump launched yesterday - skipped it as i was too tired from work, anyway the launch team are not my preference. balance later, though even if i stay i'd be going for combat. and combat tomorrow - yes yes yes!!
texted my trainer telling her about my cancelled trip and that i should be able to make it for combat launch. her reply was "great, go to rp lah. your collin is there". of course!! i suspected he'd be there since he has a class afterwards. boy oh boy, heard all the tracks are great - really can't wait for tomorrow. yesterday while waiting for combat to start, i chatted with few regulars and they were telling me that they're going to bugis for launch. i said i'd be in rp as my fave instructor would be there and all of them changed their mind. first they thought he's going to be in bugis 'cos he normally has a 6.30 class there. but i told them about the night class and the confirmation i received from my trainer. haha, everyone really enjoy going to his class. see, there's always light at the end of the tunnel - something good came out from all the problems in the office.
oh and another thing was that since my weekend plan is burnt (okay, postponed) - i decided to go ahead with the catching up thingy. yeah, i think no harm can be done so why not, eh?

I'm Back!!

after suffering the virus attack since friday evening, my machine is up and running again. FINALLY!! the only drawback? i have to cancel my trip home this weekend. anyway, it's good to feel alive and kicking again..

i miss my sister ..

i miss our daily greetings on msn. i miss reading her message on how sleepy she was after lunch. i miss knowing what's she's having during tea break. i miss knowing that the baby was kicking her. i miss knowing about my nephew's daily stuff. i miss reading her complains on she having giddiness or just stomach wind. i miss getting daily updates on what's happenning at home. i miss pestering her to find new mp3s for me. i miss sharing my stories with her as and when i want to. i miss simply waiting for her to be online.

i wish her maternity leave is over soon enough so i can get back doing my daily rituals with her without having a crazy phone bill.

i can't believe it..

ryan is out!!
ryan is out!!
ryan is out!!
ryan is out!!

well like he said 'it's supernova's lost'

innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un ..

from Him we came, and to Him we return

though i don't know her at all, i feel like i know her kids just by reading her blog. from what i saw yesterday in the hospital, she is definitely a nice lady. many people, like me, who never met her before came to visit her in the hospital.
my heart goes to her kids - but God knows best for each and everyone of us.

from the solidarity i witnessed, read, and heard - all i can say is that I am very proud to be an Indonesian.

wal asr'

i was reading email last night while waiting for some files to be processed, when i saw an email from the indo-sing about a lady who is in a comma state after an asthma attack. i was quite surprise as even though i never meet her in person, never even talk to her online, i enjoyed reading her blog. i feel like i know her kids and can't wait to read the next post about her kids. she herself seems to be someone kind, sweet, and friendly. how fragile life is, you won't know what is happenning to you in the next few seconds. i pray for her recovery, her kids were too young to be left alone.
on another note, i missed the first half of rockstar!! reached home just to see dilana crying and blood on magni's head. what's with all this? too tired to wait for the 3rd telecast to find out. dilana = JD from last season, so much drama. JD won, does it mean dilana will triumph as well? not a surprise if that happens. but she's full of arrogancy that i kinda dislike her a little bit now. like ryan said 'some people can't cope with being on top' *or something like that*