charm does work!!
on my way down for lunch, i met this it guy who's in charge of the network. he is known to have a very bad attitude and nobody dares asking things from him. even when we need to ask something we tend to say some prayers and asking for backup from our boss before approaching him. well, no harm done - i mean i know what kind of response i'd get from him - i asked about the msn thingy. was it banned forever and if it wasn't when would we got to access it again. as expected, he kept on looking down to his pda while mumbling his answer. well, at least i've tried!
just half and hour ago, i noticed that msn works!! only for me to top that! i believe he released it to me first and i think my other friends can access it now..
sooooooooooooooooooo happy!! but i couldn't access yahoo though, nevermind one at a time eh!
Saturday, June 24, 2006
thanks!!
was not feeling well yesterday that i went home straightaway. well, not really straightaway though. did some detour to buy more orders from people back home and bought myself another round of indian rojak. dang - been craving for these again and again.
spent the night watching TV. my aunt and cousin came and chit chatted for awhile. as usual the topic moved to something else - thank you but no thanks!. ally called asking about me not feeling well and wishing me a pleasant trip home as well, so sweet of him. chatted for quite some time with him, he's waaaay too good with words that eventually he found out that i knew about his dinner thingy last friday lol, really must learn to be more witty when it comes to argument with him. called sal afterwards as she's been asking about my condition as well.
i really believe i am blessed with many good and caring friends, back home and here. for that, i thank you God!
was not feeling well yesterday that i went home straightaway. well, not really straightaway though. did some detour to buy more orders from people back home and bought myself another round of indian rojak. dang - been craving for these again and again.
spent the night watching TV. my aunt and cousin came and chit chatted for awhile. as usual the topic moved to something else - thank you but no thanks!. ally called asking about me not feeling well and wishing me a pleasant trip home as well, so sweet of him. chatted for quite some time with him, he's waaaay too good with words that eventually he found out that i knew about his dinner thingy last friday lol, really must learn to be more witty when it comes to argument with him. called sal afterwards as she's been asking about my condition as well.
i really believe i am blessed with many good and caring friends, back home and here. for that, i thank you God!
Friday, June 23, 2006
as my pregnant sis is craving for some indian delicacies, i went to little india to get it and had lunch there as well. stopped by mustafa and another provision shop to get other orders from her and mom - normal stuff to do everytime i am going home. lunch was great - thosai, mango lassi, samosas .. *yummy* even jn enjoyed it!
on my way back to office, jen called sounded so excited asking me to meet her under the big screen and register for this healthy lunch talk next week. nothing to loose, i asked the taxi driver to alight me somewhere near the place so that i could meet her. after seeing the blue eyed bloke, i understood all the excitement in jen's voice .lol. came back to office with a rose in hand.
well, let's see how the healthy lunch talk is next friday.
on my way back to office, jen called sounded so excited asking me to meet her under the big screen and register for this healthy lunch talk next week. nothing to loose, i asked the taxi driver to alight me somewhere near the place so that i could meet her. after seeing the blue eyed bloke, i understood all the excitement in jen's voice .lol. came back to office with a rose in hand.
well, let's see how the healthy lunch talk is next friday.
sick
yeah, finally my body gave up on me!!
was doing stair master at the gym last night when i felt like the whole world turned upside down. not even 10 mins on it and i had sweat like crazy. not wanting to make a scene, i stopped and rushed home. really had no energy that *big mistake* i bought myself a bottle of coke to boost myself. restless night, couldn't sleep until 2ish AM - simply tossing and turning around.
took a cab to the office as i've been feeling this knots in my stomach, a sign that i'd faint if i stand long. once i was at the office i realised i left something at home. went up to grab a colleague to go home with, i hailed a cab home and back to office by 9.15. phew ...
and now i couldn't concentrate at all - my whole body has been rubbed with tiger balm, my head is spinning and i feel my body is floating. oh how i wish i could go down and see a doctor but i couldn't. taking 1 day leave on monday seems like a big sin for me.
i do hope my body can bare with me for another 2 days!
yeah, finally my body gave up on me!!
was doing stair master at the gym last night when i felt like the whole world turned upside down. not even 10 mins on it and i had sweat like crazy. not wanting to make a scene, i stopped and rushed home. really had no energy that *big mistake* i bought myself a bottle of coke to boost myself. restless night, couldn't sleep until 2ish AM - simply tossing and turning around.
took a cab to the office as i've been feeling this knots in my stomach, a sign that i'd faint if i stand long. once i was at the office i realised i left something at home. went up to grab a colleague to go home with, i hailed a cab home and back to office by 9.15. phew ...
and now i couldn't concentrate at all - my whole body has been rubbed with tiger balm, my head is spinning and i feel my body is floating. oh how i wish i could go down and see a doctor but i couldn't. taking 1 day leave on monday seems like a big sin for me.
i do hope my body can bare with me for another 2 days!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
sigh...
realised that i haven't got the confirmation letter on my tickets home, i checked the website. that was when i realised my reservation had been cancelled as i forgot to confirm by june 7th. soo sad, no more good timing that i have to switch to another airline which cost me a fortune :(. already threatened by my nephew (if you don't buy me aeroplane i don't play with you), curios to see my sister's thumb which was bitten by a zebra .lol, and excited of meeting 2 of my best buddies from uni, i decided to continue with my plan to go home. this trip better worth the money i spent!
realised that i haven't got the confirmation letter on my tickets home, i checked the website. that was when i realised my reservation had been cancelled as i forgot to confirm by june 7th. soo sad, no more good timing that i have to switch to another airline which cost me a fortune :(. already threatened by my nephew (if you don't buy me aeroplane i don't play with you), curios to see my sister's thumb which was bitten by a zebra .lol, and excited of meeting 2 of my best buddies from uni, i decided to continue with my plan to go home. this trip better worth the money i spent!
mission accomplished!!
firstly, thanks to those who called/asked me on my trip - it was fabulous and i couldn't wait to share the experiences, so thanks again for asking - you guys are my angels!!
met cin for dinner, i suggested this place as i've been eyeing to try the food there for ages. food was awesome and definitely worth going back to. surprisingly we met ally & diane there, apparently val organised another dinner gathering - well not a surprise actually, 'cos i knew abt ally n val having dinner there but we pretended not to know as we thought it's another date of his hehehe..
went to the hotel to meet the rest of the people we're going with. bus departed quite on time and we reached ipoh at 5.30ish AM. together with the other 4 girls we went hunting for breakfast and ended up having dim sum, it was quite good actually. we then get back to the meeting point, changed our outfit and apply lotsa sunscreen for the rafting adventure.
reached sungai kampar and we were given a short briefing on how to do the rafting including what to do in the event where we were thrown out of the boat or when the boat capsized. we then carried the boat to the river. it was bloody heavy that we said we might not have more energy to paddle later. once we're at the river we were given another surprise. we thought that we would board the boat and started the rafting but NO! the boat was pushed somewhere and we had to backrafting to where the boat was. bloody hell!! so we backrafted to where the boat was, and i got flipped that i actually hit my back on the rock - not a good start eh. rafting was GREAT!! we started feeling panic everytime we were faced with fall that we always hold the line instead of paddling faster. but then we get the hang of it and could control the panic and pedal. there was once when we're supposed to pedal faster but think we're quite panic (how to pedal when all you could think of is we're gonna fall we're gonna fall) that the boat slanted and me with faith who was seating on the left side were thrown out of the boat. PANIC!! not sure about faith, but all i could think about is finding the lifeline and kept on holding onto the string until the instructor pulled me back into the boat. once all of us were in we couldn't help but laughing. soo fun!! few times when our boat were trapped between rocks, all of us kept on jumping so that it could be free. few more times of rough water that we were thrown here and there but no more out of the boat. FUN FUN FUN!!
after rafting, still soaking wet we took the ride to gua tempurung and had our lunch before yet another great adventure.
the cave adventure was quite plain at the beginning. simply entering the cave, took thousands (okay exagerating, hundreds!!) of stairs up and down the cave, looking at the stalactites, stalagmites, crystals and all others while listening to the explanaitions given. an hours of walk we ended up at the part where we're supposed to went out by jumping to the river. firstly we have to slide down and it was actually quite scary. imagine if you couldn't control your slide down you might end up injuring yourself. of course, there's someone holding you in the middle of the slide and another one catching you once you're down. after the sliding, we have to go down through a very small hole and again, someone would be holding your leg down there. this is where the adventure started. we started walking through the river with the help of our own torchlight. we have to bend down or even squat most of the time. halfway through the journey we ended up crawling and i really do mean crawl! i have to put my torchlight in my mouth as i have to walk like a lizard. it was quite pain as well as your whole body is brushing against the rock and sand. and to think that we were still feeling tired from the rafting, its difficult at times to push your body forward. imagine if we do it during rainy season, we'd be diving for most of the journey!!
it was really a great experience that me and cin kept on saying too bad ally missed it, way too bad.
done with caving, after shower and all we headed back to ipoh town for dinner and some leasure time until 9 PM, when we'll be pick up to go back to singapore.
reached singapore at 5.30 AM, hence no bus nor train has operated i decided to take a cab home. once home i was soo itchy of sharing my experience with someone but it's still early so i did laundry and then went to bed. spent most of my time sleeping actually until seb called. continued sleeping until jen called. woke up again to ally's message i decided to really wake up to take shower. spent the rest of the day doing nothing but laundry. talked to jen again at night, watched TV and went to bed early.
woke up early for gym but my whole body's aching like mad that i decided to skip gym today. still feeling very sore now, especially my lower body and my back where i hit the rock. few bruises and scratches but overall, I am soooo happy being able to experience this!!
firstly, thanks to those who called/asked me on my trip - it was fabulous and i couldn't wait to share the experiences, so thanks again for asking - you guys are my angels!!
met cin for dinner, i suggested this place as i've been eyeing to try the food there for ages. food was awesome and definitely worth going back to. surprisingly we met ally & diane there, apparently val organised another dinner gathering - well not a surprise actually, 'cos i knew abt ally n val having dinner there but we pretended not to know as we thought it's another date of his hehehe..
went to the hotel to meet the rest of the people we're going with. bus departed quite on time and we reached ipoh at 5.30ish AM. together with the other 4 girls we went hunting for breakfast and ended up having dim sum, it was quite good actually. we then get back to the meeting point, changed our outfit and apply lotsa sunscreen for the rafting adventure.
reached sungai kampar and we were given a short briefing on how to do the rafting including what to do in the event where we were thrown out of the boat or when the boat capsized. we then carried the boat to the river. it was bloody heavy that we said we might not have more energy to paddle later. once we're at the river we were given another surprise. we thought that we would board the boat and started the rafting but NO! the boat was pushed somewhere and we had to backrafting to where the boat was. bloody hell!! so we backrafted to where the boat was, and i got flipped that i actually hit my back on the rock - not a good start eh. rafting was GREAT!! we started feeling panic everytime we were faced with fall that we always hold the line instead of paddling faster. but then we get the hang of it and could control the panic and pedal. there was once when we're supposed to pedal faster but think we're quite panic (how to pedal when all you could think of is we're gonna fall we're gonna fall) that the boat slanted and me with faith who was seating on the left side were thrown out of the boat. PANIC!! not sure about faith, but all i could think about is finding the lifeline and kept on holding onto the string until the instructor pulled me back into the boat. once all of us were in we couldn't help but laughing. soo fun!! few times when our boat were trapped between rocks, all of us kept on jumping so that it could be free. few more times of rough water that we were thrown here and there but no more out of the boat. FUN FUN FUN!!
after rafting, still soaking wet we took the ride to gua tempurung and had our lunch before yet another great adventure.
the cave adventure was quite plain at the beginning. simply entering the cave, took thousands (okay exagerating, hundreds!!) of stairs up and down the cave, looking at the stalactites, stalagmites, crystals and all others while listening to the explanaitions given. an hours of walk we ended up at the part where we're supposed to went out by jumping to the river. firstly we have to slide down and it was actually quite scary. imagine if you couldn't control your slide down you might end up injuring yourself. of course, there's someone holding you in the middle of the slide and another one catching you once you're down. after the sliding, we have to go down through a very small hole and again, someone would be holding your leg down there. this is where the adventure started. we started walking through the river with the help of our own torchlight. we have to bend down or even squat most of the time. halfway through the journey we ended up crawling and i really do mean crawl! i have to put my torchlight in my mouth as i have to walk like a lizard. it was quite pain as well as your whole body is brushing against the rock and sand. and to think that we were still feeling tired from the rafting, its difficult at times to push your body forward. imagine if we do it during rainy season, we'd be diving for most of the journey!!
it was really a great experience that me and cin kept on saying too bad ally missed it, way too bad.
done with caving, after shower and all we headed back to ipoh town for dinner and some leasure time until 9 PM, when we'll be pick up to go back to singapore.
reached singapore at 5.30 AM, hence no bus nor train has operated i decided to take a cab home. once home i was soo itchy of sharing my experience with someone but it's still early so i did laundry and then went to bed. spent most of my time sleeping actually until seb called. continued sleeping until jen called. woke up again to ally's message i decided to really wake up to take shower. spent the rest of the day doing nothing but laundry. talked to jen again at night, watched TV and went to bed early.
woke up early for gym but my whole body's aching like mad that i decided to skip gym today. still feeling very sore now, especially my lower body and my back where i hit the rock. few bruises and scratches but overall, I am soooo happy being able to experience this!!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
who said taxi drivers here are irritating. well there were probably a handful irritating one, but i've encoutered more nice taxi drivers than the oh so not nice one. my encounters with them for the past few days :-
you see, never say taxi driver is bad!!
- meeting my friends for the football match last saturday, uncle offered me some sweets. he said 'this is nice, with milk in it'. took one and few moments later he looked back asking for the wrapper 'come give me the wrapper, let me throw it for you'
- took a cab to office yesterday. been coughing for the past few weeks as well. uncle open a small pouch and offered me some hacks for my throat
- had a very bad headache so i decided to go home instead of gym yesterday. took a cab as i was carrying lots of stuff. realised that i left my mobile at the office, i asked him to go to my office building 1st. he was quite reluctant to wait for me as no taxi is supposed to wait at the loading bay but he ended up saying okay. left all my stuff inside the taxi while i went up to get my mobile. kinda gamble myself there - what if the man took off? but he was still there.
you see, never say taxi driver is bad!!
Friday, June 16, 2006
-decision time-
after so much contemplation, i texted my friend saying that i wouldn't be joining her tonight. part of me kinda regret it but the other part of me feel so relief.
yeah, a friend asked me to join her to this male cabaret show tonight. i've been thinking of saying no from the very first but part of me was curious about it, especially seeing how unsleazy it was at its web page. i even said no to the dinner tonight, though seb is in town and might not be coming back to singapore as often as he used to.
had a chat with my sis who thought i'm weak for not having any principle, had a chat with a friend who thought that i should just go for the sake of satisfying my curiosity. well, curiosity does kill the cat and i decided not to be killed.
texted her and told her about my decision. i'd rather spend time with my lovely friends tonight. though i think i'll just go home and have a good rest tonight. cin asked the reason of me rejecting them twice in a row and wondered if there was a hot date. ha ha... its not like that, i just want to have 2 weeks of abstinency though i wouldn't get it :\. i am quite surprise with how strong my will is now. i think it is due to me being so very prepared to face the next 2 weeks with my chin up but circumstances are not as what i expected. poor seb, haven't meet him since the last time i met him in KL.
and now my head feels like its going to explode anytime soon.
after so much contemplation, i texted my friend saying that i wouldn't be joining her tonight. part of me kinda regret it but the other part of me feel so relief.
yeah, a friend asked me to join her to this male cabaret show tonight. i've been thinking of saying no from the very first but part of me was curious about it, especially seeing how unsleazy it was at its web page. i even said no to the dinner tonight, though seb is in town and might not be coming back to singapore as often as he used to.
had a chat with my sis who thought i'm weak for not having any principle, had a chat with a friend who thought that i should just go for the sake of satisfying my curiosity. well, curiosity does kill the cat and i decided not to be killed.
texted her and told her about my decision. i'd rather spend time with my lovely friends tonight. though i think i'll just go home and have a good rest tonight. cin asked the reason of me rejecting them twice in a row and wondered if there was a hot date. ha ha... its not like that, i just want to have 2 weeks of abstinency though i wouldn't get it :\. i am quite surprise with how strong my will is now. i think it is due to me being so very prepared to face the next 2 weeks with my chin up but circumstances are not as what i expected. poor seb, haven't meet him since the last time i met him in KL.
and now my head feels like its going to explode anytime soon.
ready?
so i've been great so far, managed to put everything back on track. 2 weeks of abstinence should be working fine. but i believe i will be tested tomorrow, earlier than expected. been trying to avoid it with excuses but seems that i couldn't run tomorrow. been trying to delegate it to someone else so that i have no reason to be out but then i guess it's so bad of me to keep saying no, especially knowing how things are as stated in the email "my 2 best gals will be out of town, what to do".
i'm sure i am more than fine, been feeling that since last tuesday actually. i guess the monday talk i had with jen and the email with cin turned out to have a great effect.
so i've been great so far, managed to put everything back on track. 2 weeks of abstinence should be working fine. but i believe i will be tested tomorrow, earlier than expected. been trying to avoid it with excuses but seems that i couldn't run tomorrow. been trying to delegate it to someone else so that i have no reason to be out but then i guess it's so bad of me to keep saying no, especially knowing how things are as stated in the email "my 2 best gals will be out of town, what to do".
i'm sure i am more than fine, been feeling that since last tuesday actually. i guess the monday talk i had with jen and the email with cin turned out to have a great effect.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
7 wonders ..
still no mood to start working seriously, i browsed juw's blog and read about this 7 thingy and i went to renatha's blog to read the source of it. oh well, my name was there as well; tagged to list 7 songs that i listen to/enjoy the most - not a difficult one!!
so here it goes - the title, the singer, part of the lyrics, and the story behind it, if there is any :-
1. drops of jupiter - train
tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet..
did you finally get a chance to dance along the light of day
and head back to the milkyway
and tell me, did venus blow your mind
was it everything you wanted to find
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there ...
a friend mentioned this song and once i hear it, i just fall in love with it especially once i hear all the lyrics.. awesome song!
2. unwritten - natasha bedingfield
staring at the blank page before you open up the dirty window
let the sun illuminates the word that you cannot find
reaching for something in the distance so close that you almost taste it
release you inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin
no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in
no one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself with words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open
today is where your book begin, the rest is still unwritten ...
been listening it playing on MTV every morning while i was preparing myself to work. again, once i heard the lyrics i simply couldn't wait to hear it again
3. collide - howie day
even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhyme
out of the doubts that fill my mind
i somehow find
you and i collide
probably big walk made me n cin searched for this song, and once we got it we listened to the lyrics again as the say, the rest is history
4. kaho na kaho (whether you say it or not), hindi (w/ some arabic in it)
tamally ma'ak tamally fe baly
wa fe alby wala bansak
from a friend's msn status to him sending me the song, i kinda got hook with the tune.
finally rented and watched the movie on monday.
5. because of you - kelly clarkson
because of you i never stray to far from the sidewalk
because of you i always play on the safe side so i don't get hurt
because of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me
because of you ... i am afraid...
simply because i love the song, nice lyric as well.
6. heart of mine - bobby caldwell
heart of mine, how will you keep from dying
stop reminiscing who is she kissing
heart of mine
oh what's the use in trying
no one can mend you mind ...
just love the song, and when i'm down the lyric as well
7. you're beautiful - james blunt
you're beautful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful it's true
i saw your face in the crowded place
and i don't know what to do, 'cos i'll never be with you
come on, everyone should agree this is a great song! love it and the lyric is great
nowadays, listening to this song reminds me of the chat me, al, cin had few months ago.
i'll be good and not tag anyone - not many people know my blog anyways ;)
still no mood to start working seriously, i browsed juw's blog and read about this 7 thingy and i went to renatha's blog to read the source of it. oh well, my name was there as well; tagged to list 7 songs that i listen to/enjoy the most - not a difficult one!!
so here it goes - the title, the singer, part of the lyrics, and the story behind it, if there is any :-
1. drops of jupiter - train
tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet..
did you finally get a chance to dance along the light of day
and head back to the milkyway
and tell me, did venus blow your mind
was it everything you wanted to find
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there ...
a friend mentioned this song and once i hear it, i just fall in love with it especially once i hear all the lyrics.. awesome song!
2. unwritten - natasha bedingfield
staring at the blank page before you open up the dirty window
let the sun illuminates the word that you cannot find
reaching for something in the distance so close that you almost taste it
release you inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin
no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in
no one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself with words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open
today is where your book begin, the rest is still unwritten ...
been listening it playing on MTV every morning while i was preparing myself to work. again, once i heard the lyrics i simply couldn't wait to hear it again
3. collide - howie day
even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhyme
out of the doubts that fill my mind
i somehow find
you and i collide
probably big walk made me n cin searched for this song, and once we got it we listened to the lyrics again as the say, the rest is history
4. kaho na kaho (whether you say it or not), hindi (w/ some arabic in it)
tamally ma'ak tamally fe baly
wa fe alby wala bansak
from a friend's msn status to him sending me the song, i kinda got hook with the tune.
finally rented and watched the movie on monday.
5. because of you - kelly clarkson
because of you i never stray to far from the sidewalk
because of you i always play on the safe side so i don't get hurt
because of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me
because of you ... i am afraid...
simply because i love the song, nice lyric as well.
6. heart of mine - bobby caldwell
heart of mine, how will you keep from dying
stop reminiscing who is she kissing
heart of mine
oh what's the use in trying
no one can mend you mind ...
just love the song, and when i'm down the lyric as well
7. you're beautiful - james blunt
you're beautful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful it's true
i saw your face in the crowded place
and i don't know what to do, 'cos i'll never be with you
come on, everyone should agree this is a great song! love it and the lyric is great
nowadays, listening to this song reminds me of the chat me, al, cin had few months ago.
i'll be good and not tag anyone - not many people know my blog anyways ;)
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
alive and kicking ...
yesterday was really a monday blues. not only for me but for most of the people i know. cin was busy moving around and was not in the mood. al was on mc. i have no mood to chat with sal, and only chat through email with jen. as per normal, the topic we talked about got deeper and it was nothing that we're not aware of, i guess it's just simply stating the fact out loud. but this time around it is good as we're very open in stating the fact and the downside of stuff - even names are mentioned.
my plan on starting a healthy lifestyle was also cancelled as i went out with jn and ended up having a heavy lunch. suddenly had the craving for indian rojak, i emailed cin saying that i wouldn't be going for a run and went home instead. open an account at one of the video rental nearby and ended up renting 2 hindi movies, hehehe..
watched one of the movie last night, so very tempted to watch it due to the stories i've been hearing about the sexy actress. well, she is sexy - great figure for sure. though i was feeling way moody yesterday, thanks to all the imagination i had, i think the food and the movie kinda ease me.
today - feeling great as ever. cin emailed saying that she didn't do the run as well, blaming me for that.lol. will be getting a friend to the gym later on, soo happy to get another gym buddy.
well, lets just enjoy our life, with all the friends you have to spend your time with and focus on the things you like to do!!
yesterday was really a monday blues. not only for me but for most of the people i know. cin was busy moving around and was not in the mood. al was on mc. i have no mood to chat with sal, and only chat through email with jen. as per normal, the topic we talked about got deeper and it was nothing that we're not aware of, i guess it's just simply stating the fact out loud. but this time around it is good as we're very open in stating the fact and the downside of stuff - even names are mentioned.
my plan on starting a healthy lifestyle was also cancelled as i went out with jn and ended up having a heavy lunch. suddenly had the craving for indian rojak, i emailed cin saying that i wouldn't be going for a run and went home instead. open an account at one of the video rental nearby and ended up renting 2 hindi movies, hehehe..
watched one of the movie last night, so very tempted to watch it due to the stories i've been hearing about the sexy actress. well, she is sexy - great figure for sure. though i was feeling way moody yesterday, thanks to all the imagination i had, i think the food and the movie kinda ease me.
today - feeling great as ever. cin emailed saying that she didn't do the run as well, blaming me for that.lol. will be getting a friend to the gym later on, soo happy to get another gym buddy.
well, lets just enjoy our life, with all the friends you have to spend your time with and focus on the things you like to do!!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
boss called 3 colleagues of mine in - i was wondering what was it about but then i realised it's about leave. apparently they've been told not to take leave during this 4 months period and if needed, they have to bring their machine home and do some work at home as well.
i think i wasn't called in as she knows how i've been working miserably hard for the past few months. never once didn't i bring my machine home so that i can do some work from home. been coming to the office every weekend for months as well if i need to check jobs that couldn't be access remotely. sometimes i feel its unfair that i've been giving a so heavy load whereas the rest can still go home on time. i've been dreading for july to come when another conference call will be added to my list.
hm, still i wonder if my 1 day leave will be approved.
'enuff said - back to work!!
i think i wasn't called in as she knows how i've been working miserably hard for the past few months. never once didn't i bring my machine home so that i can do some work from home. been coming to the office every weekend for months as well if i need to check jobs that couldn't be access remotely. sometimes i feel its unfair that i've been giving a so heavy load whereas the rest can still go home on time. i've been dreading for july to come when another conference call will be added to my list.
hm, still i wonder if my 1 day leave will be approved.
'enuff said - back to work!!
woke up late for pump this morning as i slept late last night. switch called and we ended up talking until almost 2 AM. it's nice talking to her - sometimes i feel that since she's not in the group, well she was but after some incident she rarely joins us, i could talk to her openly. she kinda understand the situation i am in and i think she's the one who made me start thinking of being open as well. we talked about whatever we have in mind. told her about the decision i made and the reason behind it. she kinda agree with me though she still asked me to be open minded on certain things. i am and like i said, when it comes to this i will simply go with the flow.
she's a nice person, one of the friends i can pour my heart out to. felt quite bad that i've been declining her invitation as well - really wanted to go to the pot luck party last saturday but i couldn't. to think i won't be able to attend her b'day party when she kept on asking me about it makes me feel really bad - but i've already book my flight home. so sorry about that!
she's a nice person, one of the friends i can pour my heart out to. felt quite bad that i've been declining her invitation as well - really wanted to go to the pot luck party last saturday but i couldn't. to think i won't be able to attend her b'day party when she kept on asking me about it makes me feel really bad - but i've already book my flight home. so sorry about that!
Monday, June 12, 2006
sunday blurt .. part 2
the domestic helper is here doing things i'm supposed to do. it's good to pamper yourself once in a while, eh. i'm actually thinking of getting her in on a regular basis, let's see how it goes then. the worst part of having this kinda help is that you end up with nothing to do on your hand, hence the reason i'm blogging *again*.
my mind's been wandering since the last time i did my blogging. yeah, i did some write ups somewhere else and as usual, when you're writing stuff you came to some conclusions as well. i was actually replaying last night's event on my mind while doing the writeups and that is when i realised how strong the chemistry i feel with my friends, here and back home. that was also when i realised the importance of understanding the feeling you have for people around you, what kind of chemistry you have with them - is it pure friendship or something more than that. until you get the clear picture of what type of relationship you have with people around you, you wouldn't find peace with yourself.
the domestic helper is here doing things i'm supposed to do. it's good to pamper yourself once in a while, eh. i'm actually thinking of getting her in on a regular basis, let's see how it goes then. the worst part of having this kinda help is that you end up with nothing to do on your hand, hence the reason i'm blogging *again*.
my mind's been wandering since the last time i did my blogging. yeah, i did some write ups somewhere else and as usual, when you're writing stuff you came to some conclusions as well. i was actually replaying last night's event on my mind while doing the writeups and that is when i realised how strong the chemistry i feel with my friends, here and back home. that was also when i realised the importance of understanding the feeling you have for people around you, what kind of chemistry you have with them - is it pure friendship or something more than that. until you get the clear picture of what type of relationship you have with people around you, you wouldn't find peace with yourself.
sunday blurt .. part 1
met jen, sal, and ally last night for dinner prior to the game. we knew chjimes would be crowded so we decided to go to robertson walk, with the backup plan of hooters or 1nitestand in case it rain. after quite some time looking for a table, we managed to get one at the turkish place we went to 2 weeks ago. the guy kinda remember us that he was nice and willing to open a table for us actually, but lucky we got a table near the TV. dave arrived looking very happy 'cos he had his dinner 1st while we're still waiting for ours duh. mine came when the game was almost over!! game was okay though the only goal scored by england is an own goal from paraguay.
thought that we're leaving after the game but ally wanted to watch the sweden match that we ended up going to place we went for dessert a month ago and i had my hand on the l'amour - but this time around its the cake instead of the tapas, yummy yummy. dave was sooo funny, with ally who's a native french speaker teaching him, he tried soo hard to pronounce the place name in proper french yet what came out really made us laughed like crazy. we kinda talked a lot there while waiting for the match to begin.
the 2nd match didn't pick my interest at all, so i just watched it for the sake of watching. when it started to drizzle we move a bit under the shelter and i ended up sitting next to sal. it was quite a surprise for me when sal suddenly told me about her past relationship 'cos all of us know how reserve she is. i know she's close to jen as they're from the same group before i met them, hence i kinda felt happy that she now feels close to me to tell me about it. her story made me realise things and probably look at things differently as well? ah well, at least i feel that i understand sal better now.
went home once the match was over, both parties didn't score any goal. sal didn't really want to go home now that she has opened herself to me and i think i know why she felt that way. but it was almost 3 AM that we decided to go home straightaway. she was even a little bit open to ally while we're waiting for the bus to come. but what she said to ally and ally's response was actually true. if only things were as simple as that. i continued this topic on the journey home with ally, asking him some questions that was quite personal actually and its quite sweet of him to be that open in answering it. he did say something that made me *as usual* think thoroughly as well. its true what he said about having 2 types of chemistry, and i think most people *including me* tend to confuse between the two.
spend the rest of the journey home thinking about all the things that happened - conversation i had with sal and with ally. i have to admit that sometimes i feel lucky never been in sal, ally, or even cin's shoes but sometimes i feel like i'm missing something as well.
gosh, i really wanna write what's in my heart and mind here but i couldn't find the words!!
met jen, sal, and ally last night for dinner prior to the game. we knew chjimes would be crowded so we decided to go to robertson walk, with the backup plan of hooters or 1nitestand in case it rain. after quite some time looking for a table, we managed to get one at the turkish place we went to 2 weeks ago. the guy kinda remember us that he was nice and willing to open a table for us actually, but lucky we got a table near the TV. dave arrived looking very happy 'cos he had his dinner 1st while we're still waiting for ours duh. mine came when the game was almost over!! game was okay though the only goal scored by england is an own goal from paraguay.
thought that we're leaving after the game but ally wanted to watch the sweden match that we ended up going to place we went for dessert a month ago and i had my hand on the l'amour - but this time around its the cake instead of the tapas, yummy yummy. dave was sooo funny, with ally who's a native french speaker teaching him, he tried soo hard to pronounce the place name in proper french yet what came out really made us laughed like crazy. we kinda talked a lot there while waiting for the match to begin.
the 2nd match didn't pick my interest at all, so i just watched it for the sake of watching. when it started to drizzle we move a bit under the shelter and i ended up sitting next to sal. it was quite a surprise for me when sal suddenly told me about her past relationship 'cos all of us know how reserve she is. i know she's close to jen as they're from the same group before i met them, hence i kinda felt happy that she now feels close to me to tell me about it. her story made me realise things and probably look at things differently as well? ah well, at least i feel that i understand sal better now.
went home once the match was over, both parties didn't score any goal. sal didn't really want to go home now that she has opened herself to me and i think i know why she felt that way. but it was almost 3 AM that we decided to go home straightaway. she was even a little bit open to ally while we're waiting for the bus to come. but what she said to ally and ally's response was actually true. if only things were as simple as that. i continued this topic on the journey home with ally, asking him some questions that was quite personal actually and its quite sweet of him to be that open in answering it. he did say something that made me *as usual* think thoroughly as well. its true what he said about having 2 types of chemistry, and i think most people *including me* tend to confuse between the two.
spend the rest of the journey home thinking about all the things that happened - conversation i had with sal and with ally. i have to admit that sometimes i feel lucky never been in sal, ally, or even cin's shoes but sometimes i feel like i'm missing something as well.
gosh, i really wanna write what's in my heart and mind here but i couldn't find the words!!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
mode: unidentified ...
went online to do some searching on this upcoming mega combat. met cin, chatted awhile and i think she's doing her slow jog at her gym now. decided to do some work - better start thinking of the application, who knows finance calls on monday saying that they want to submit the file for testing on that day, i'll be dead man!. open the documentation and found out that the xml file need to be generated was quite complex that i decided to build the schema 1st. halfway realised that there's a lot of data needed, stopped awhile and went browsing. ah, suspended my account there - i dunno, but after knowing that some people i know might come across it as well (i still suspected ally knew it from dave), i felt darn embarassed - waiting for cin to comment on my action here, definitely not a good one :p.
suddenly realised that i want something badly and that is to fit in my clothes again!! already planned on doing a mini marketing to attract people for this mega combat thingy, but it clashes with my cousin's engagement party - how eh?.
decided to finished building the table before going through the documentation again and continue rest of it.
suddenly think that its better to take a nap - knowing how things are, we might end up with another round of prata or something else - a serious motivation to loose weight is desperately needed!!
suddenly feel the itchiness of doing some shopping - oh well .. will try to do it later if the itchiness is still there, but not going to join cin though. too lazy, furthermore she's going with her teammates tonight.
ahhhh .. suddenly feel the urge of blurting, hence the reason i'm here.
decided to call a domestic helper tomorrow but haven't call her! *noted*.
decided to end the blogging now else i'll be rambling like mad and everything else come out!!
went online to do some searching on this upcoming mega combat. met cin, chatted awhile and i think she's doing her slow jog at her gym now. decided to do some work - better start thinking of the application, who knows finance calls on monday saying that they want to submit the file for testing on that day, i'll be dead man!. open the documentation and found out that the xml file need to be generated was quite complex that i decided to build the schema 1st. halfway realised that there's a lot of data needed, stopped awhile and went browsing. ah, suspended my account there - i dunno, but after knowing that some people i know might come across it as well (i still suspected ally knew it from dave), i felt darn embarassed - waiting for cin to comment on my action here, definitely not a good one :p.
suddenly realised that i want something badly and that is to fit in my clothes again!! already planned on doing a mini marketing to attract people for this mega combat thingy, but it clashes with my cousin's engagement party - how eh?.
decided to finished building the table before going through the documentation again and continue rest of it.
suddenly think that its better to take a nap - knowing how things are, we might end up with another round of prata or something else - a serious motivation to loose weight is desperately needed!!
suddenly feel the itchiness of doing some shopping - oh well .. will try to do it later if the itchiness is still there, but not going to join cin though. too lazy, furthermore she's going with her teammates tonight.
ahhhh .. suddenly feel the urge of blurting, hence the reason i'm here.
decided to call a domestic helper tomorrow but haven't call her! *noted*.
decided to end the blogging now else i'll be rambling like mad and everything else come out!!
saturday morning rambling...
stupid stupid body clock!! went to bed at 4 AM and here i am - wide awake!!
had dinner with cin and sal. it's the 2nd time i've been to this place yet i'm still amazed by their food. though i told ally that i won't be joining them for the soccer match tonight, i changed my mind 'cos like june said the 1st match is the best and for me its just simply because of the atmosphere - i'm not into football anyway. med texted cin during dinner asking if we wanted to join him to the actors but we said no.
after dinner we headed down to the nearby pub and just when we get our table ally called asking us to head down to where he was and decided where to watch the game then. he was in one of the girl's birthday celebration that we didn't want to gate crash though he invited us and we kinda know the girl - still we think it's not nice.
took a cab to where he was and it was quite great actually that they had a big empty space with a TV shown on a projecter that we decided to watch it there. im always curious of this place, everytime im having my lunch by the river i always look across to this place wondering how was it. i mean i've been to the one at club st. but this one looks oh so great that picked my interest - and apparently it was a nice place indeed!. seems that the party was still on so we just approached the people there and said hi to those that we knew or saw us. saw j, the oz bloke there as well. asked him about his unfinished plan and we chit chatted while waiting for the game to start. i dunno but i found him strange - totally different from the person we met few weeks ago, kinda get on my nerve as well. probably he's just tipsy? don't care anyway, simply gave him a short response and continue watching the game. elise and ally fetched dave, so funny that both guys came back running as not to miss the game and left elise walking alone. poor ally, think he couldn't concentrate due to the constant "disturbance" - if you're bored go home eh, don't disturb people who wanted to concentrate. i honestly told cin and sal that i admire this patience side of him, hence the reason a lot of people feel comfortable with him. game was good - i actually enjoyed it but too bad ballack wasn't playing, good for the eyes :p.
walked to clarke quay to catch a bus home. was quite surprise with what ally said while waiting for the bus that i suspected he was hinting on me so i admitted that yeah, i signed up at that site. luckily cin backed me up here and admitted that she was there as well. boy!! how come when cin signed up no one's aware of it but just when i did it was out. but don't care - just for fun just for fun!!
another round of football tonight - lol i can't believe myself. but its england - lotsa cute blokes.
couldn't go to yolli's friend bbq due to this match - well i kinda said yes way in advance so i'd have to keep my promise, eh.
oh and to all who read and know what's been happenning to my life, this time the ride home was purely fun - just like friends bullying each other, making people around us smiled looking at our childish behaviour, and nothing more after that. though there was a flirting going on during office hours, i think it was purely for fun and more like friends disturbing each other. nothing more nothing less. i guess i am way over that stage *happy me*
stupid stupid body clock!! went to bed at 4 AM and here i am - wide awake!!
had dinner with cin and sal. it's the 2nd time i've been to this place yet i'm still amazed by their food. though i told ally that i won't be joining them for the soccer match tonight, i changed my mind 'cos like june said the 1st match is the best and for me its just simply because of the atmosphere - i'm not into football anyway. med texted cin during dinner asking if we wanted to join him to the actors but we said no.
after dinner we headed down to the nearby pub and just when we get our table ally called asking us to head down to where he was and decided where to watch the game then. he was in one of the girl's birthday celebration that we didn't want to gate crash though he invited us and we kinda know the girl - still we think it's not nice.
took a cab to where he was and it was quite great actually that they had a big empty space with a TV shown on a projecter that we decided to watch it there. im always curious of this place, everytime im having my lunch by the river i always look across to this place wondering how was it. i mean i've been to the one at club st. but this one looks oh so great that picked my interest - and apparently it was a nice place indeed!. seems that the party was still on so we just approached the people there and said hi to those that we knew or saw us. saw j, the oz bloke there as well. asked him about his unfinished plan and we chit chatted while waiting for the game to start. i dunno but i found him strange - totally different from the person we met few weeks ago, kinda get on my nerve as well. probably he's just tipsy? don't care anyway, simply gave him a short response and continue watching the game. elise and ally fetched dave, so funny that both guys came back running as not to miss the game and left elise walking alone. poor ally, think he couldn't concentrate due to the constant "disturbance" - if you're bored go home eh, don't disturb people who wanted to concentrate. i honestly told cin and sal that i admire this patience side of him, hence the reason a lot of people feel comfortable with him. game was good - i actually enjoyed it but too bad ballack wasn't playing, good for the eyes :p.
walked to clarke quay to catch a bus home. was quite surprise with what ally said while waiting for the bus that i suspected he was hinting on me so i admitted that yeah, i signed up at that site. luckily cin backed me up here and admitted that she was there as well. boy!! how come when cin signed up no one's aware of it but just when i did it was out. but don't care - just for fun just for fun!!
another round of football tonight - lol i can't believe myself. but its england - lotsa cute blokes.
couldn't go to yolli's friend bbq due to this match - well i kinda said yes way in advance so i'd have to keep my promise, eh.
oh and to all who read and know what's been happenning to my life, this time the ride home was purely fun - just like friends bullying each other, making people around us smiled looking at our childish behaviour, and nothing more after that. though there was a flirting going on during office hours, i think it was purely for fun and more like friends disturbing each other. nothing more nothing less. i guess i am way over that stage *happy me*
Saturday, June 10, 2006
okay....
i led myself to trouble again. not that trouble actually but its just that this stubborness in me wanted to lead myself into trouble. but i think my mind is stronger nowadays. i never want to read between the line and i promise myself never to read between the line and i intend to keep to that promise of mine.
yupe, the answer to the last question is no. it surprised me as well but hmm wait a second, yupe that's not the answer from my mind only - its the answer from my heart as well...
i led myself to trouble again. not that trouble actually but its just that this stubborness in me wanted to lead myself into trouble. but i think my mind is stronger nowadays. i never want to read between the line and i promise myself never to read between the line and i intend to keep to that promise of mine.
yupe, the answer to the last question is no. it surprised me as well but hmm wait a second, yupe that's not the answer from my mind only - its the answer from my heart as well...
duh!
i hate myself *a little* now. after deciding not to start things, i did it again for the past 2 days. but its fun and fine actually 'cos its just a normal thingy and i just felt happy but nothing more afterwards. i can do things without thinking twice. its just that my imagination runs wild *as per normal* after reading an email. nothing that needs to be concerned about or anything, i think i am way over that stage. just this curious me hate myself for being this curious at times, like now for example.
i hate myself *a little* now. after deciding not to start things, i did it again for the past 2 days. but its fun and fine actually 'cos its just a normal thingy and i just felt happy but nothing more afterwards. i can do things without thinking twice. its just that my imagination runs wild *as per normal* after reading an email. nothing that needs to be concerned about or anything, i think i am way over that stage. just this curious me hate myself for being this curious at times, like now for example.
blimey!!
decided to go home end of this month, i went online to apply for 1 day leave. that was when i realised i still have 27.5 days of leave this year!! after applying the one day leave, i am still with 26.5 days of leave. i couldn't take long leave nor have i the budget for travelling that all i can think of is that i'm going to have a blast of leave next year...
its friday and i have so many things to do yet i am so not in the mood. i should force myself to be productive right after posting this. ah, i know sha is working in the same building as me for the next 15 days. think i'll contact her later and see if i can have lunch or probably dinner with this gorgeous cousin of mine while she's still nearby
decided to go home end of this month, i went online to apply for 1 day leave. that was when i realised i still have 27.5 days of leave this year!! after applying the one day leave, i am still with 26.5 days of leave. i couldn't take long leave nor have i the budget for travelling that all i can think of is that i'm going to have a blast of leave next year...
its friday and i have so many things to do yet i am so not in the mood. i should force myself to be productive right after posting this. ah, i know sha is working in the same building as me for the next 15 days. think i'll contact her later and see if i can have lunch or probably dinner with this gorgeous cousin of mine while she's still nearby
Friday, June 09, 2006
intermezzo
took a break by walking around and chatted with few of them. i said that by the end of this project we'd be in the mental hospital. sn commented that she was already there that i said then we'd end up in cemetery.
ended up with sn telling us of her intention of giving up all these and be a domestic goddess. i too said that i don't mind with that provided someone's willing to take me in - jokingly of course, else it sounded so pathetic eh.. hehehe
took a break by walking around and chatted with few of them. i said that by the end of this project we'd be in the mental hospital. sn commented that she was already there that i said then we'd end up in cemetery.
ended up with sn telling us of her intention of giving up all these and be a domestic goddess. i too said that i don't mind with that provided someone's willing to take me in - jokingly of course, else it sounded so pathetic eh.. hehehe
where legend is born...i hate starhub!! not even one single match will be aired in their normal sports channel during the world cup. bloody money oriented. the last world cup, when cable channel was still under SCV, i can still catch the match without additional fee. to top that up, all the match will be at night time, no chance of sneaking down and watch at the giant screen outside. i guess it's either pay for this channel or always go out and find places that air the match you like are the only 2 solutions. well, this is the only time i am interested in football and i am only interested in watching match from several countries and i am not willing to spend money on starhub so i guess i have to list down whatever match that i like and look around in case people that i know are also interested. or better still, go to my uncle's place? hmmm... interesting
Thursday, June 08, 2006
aaarrggghhhh.... i give up solving the problem of this datafeed scheduling for today. how come i can run the dts manually but once scheduled, it seems that the secure connection couldn't be establish? checked with malaysia and they have no such problems. our settings? God i feel like giving up on this but i think i'll just stop this awhile and get back to my interface, there's a new interface and i haven't even look at the specs, let alone think of the application - and to think all these must be completed within 16 weeks time!! *comma state* better do some blogging before i scream uncontrollably (is there such word?) here
on a lighter note, i've followed a friend's advise and apparently it was not bad at all. i mean i am still the one deciding to proceed or not. so far i've been very strict though i'm thinking of trying to loosen up a bit. like she said, no harm done so why must we worry too much.
i am soooo full!! i succumbed to temptation by having a huge lunch. to think that i am still munching here and now when i am going for a dinner tonight!!. saw this place that we're going to tonight once before and i was intrigue by its name - il gladiatore. imagine a roman restaurant where the all the staff dresses is robes and togas. interesting isn't it? well - let's see how it is tonight ...
for now, i got an interface to take care ..
on a lighter note, i've followed a friend's advise and apparently it was not bad at all. i mean i am still the one deciding to proceed or not. so far i've been very strict though i'm thinking of trying to loosen up a bit. like she said, no harm done so why must we worry too much.
i am soooo full!! i succumbed to temptation by having a huge lunch. to think that i am still munching here and now when i am going for a dinner tonight!!. saw this place that we're going to tonight once before and i was intrigue by its name - il gladiatore. imagine a roman restaurant where the all the staff dresses is robes and togas. interesting isn't it? well - let's see how it is tonight ...
for now, i got an interface to take care ..
which one?
i think i need to get myself a notebook. yeah, after years and years AND YEARS of contemplating i've come to a conclusion that i need it. actually i still have my PC here at the office, still not sure when and how am i going to bring it home. oh well ...
so went to funan to find out about the price. this so inexperience me really didn't know what or where to look at. ended up visiting few shops that has toshiba and tell the sales person the purpose of me looking for one. almost thinking of getting the cheapest notebook but i tried calling the IT guy and he advised me not to get an intel celeron machine. so i ended up looking at another notebook which caught my interest. now i'm contemplating with the 2 choice i have :-
i think i need to get myself a notebook. yeah, after years and years AND YEARS of contemplating i've come to a conclusion that i need it. actually i still have my PC here at the office, still not sure when and how am i going to bring it home. oh well ...
so went to funan to find out about the price. this so inexperience me really didn't know what or where to look at. ended up visiting few shops that has toshiba and tell the sales person the purpose of me looking for one. almost thinking of getting the cheapest notebook but i tried calling the IT guy and he advised me not to get an intel celeron machine. so i ended up looking at another notebook which caught my interest. now i'm contemplating with the 2 choice i have :-
- Toshiba, in which costs ard 2,099 with only 512MB of memory BUT i can get it now
- IBM T60, corporate rate will cost me 2,001 with 2GB of memory and all better specifications than toshiba BUT i have to wait until the deal is finalised which is still not sure when, i just have to rely on the IT guys to update me on this
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Ooopsss...
boss came back from shanghai and brought us this funny dried noodle. no one, including herself, know how to cook it - whether to boil it first or straightaway use it. haha!! so troublesome. let's see what my intuition tells me then ...
on another note, gosh i got myself in trouble!! thanks to my brilliant not so organised life. apparently i said yes to friends on watching the soccer match this weekend and i totally forgot about it. i sort of planned on cooking and visiting my uncle this weekend. then i was invited to my flatmate's friend's bbq party. haven't been spending time with yolli, i want to go to this as well. i thought i could give the plan of visiting my uncle a miss as he's not informed of this yet - but the soccer? why eh, i was only reminded of this today? hmmm.... can i pull out without being killed :-?
boss came back from shanghai and brought us this funny dried noodle. no one, including herself, know how to cook it - whether to boil it first or straightaway use it. haha!! so troublesome. let's see what my intuition tells me then ...on another note, gosh i got myself in trouble!! thanks to my brilliant not so organised life. apparently i said yes to friends on watching the soccer match this weekend and i totally forgot about it. i sort of planned on cooking and visiting my uncle this weekend. then i was invited to my flatmate's friend's bbq party. haven't been spending time with yolli, i want to go to this as well. i thought i could give the plan of visiting my uncle a miss as he's not informed of this yet - but the soccer? why eh, i was only reminded of this today? hmmm.... can i pull out without being killed :-?
daddy you know how much i love you
i need you i want you please show me the way
daddy .. oh daddy .. sometimes i went do wrong, but i'll never stop trying to be your number one
you understand me, you teach me how to dream
and you play the games i love to play
i have no fear, you're always near
i will (always) be my daddy's girl!!!
Happy Birtday Daddy!!
may God grant you a long, healthy, and happy life. Hope you are always showered with love and happiness. i hope one day, when the time comes, i can give you the greatest gift of giving me away ...
i need you i want you please show me the way
daddy .. oh daddy .. sometimes i went do wrong, but i'll never stop trying to be your number one
you understand me, you teach me how to dream
and you play the games i love to play
i have no fear, you're always near
i will (always) be my daddy's girl!!!
Happy Birtday Daddy!!
may God grant you a long, healthy, and happy life. Hope you are always showered with love and happiness. i hope one day, when the time comes, i can give you the greatest gift of giving me away ...
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
spent last night talking to juwi (bik, lemme know when you have phone line at home, i'll pester you as well). thanks juw, for being such a great listener. i just want to talk to someone last night. like i told you, today i feel lighter though i don't want to let it go - i believe i'm just in love with the idea and the thrill of it. but again like i told you, to really let it go takes a lot of perserverance. well, i am almost there, i hope so. i think you'll be drop dead bored the next time i call you with the same old topic. lol
boss called me in, guess she's afraid of me having a nervous breakdown that she said all the soothing words, reassuring me that it is fine to miss few stuff during this local testing period. easy for her to say that, how are you to sleep at night knowing something is not right.
well, i did it again. i started something that i promised myself not to start. i started it even when i knew what the outcome would be. but then i am not down when knowing it first hand, even with the reason given. i think i started it because i know that i have changed my heart and mind and wanted to work things differently - i think i am trying to change the way a react to my surroundings. i hope it works fine and i hope one day i can start something without even thinking twice.
boss called me in, guess she's afraid of me having a nervous breakdown that she said all the soothing words, reassuring me that it is fine to miss few stuff during this local testing period. easy for her to say that, how are you to sleep at night knowing something is not right.
well, i did it again. i started something that i promised myself not to start. i started it even when i knew what the outcome would be. but then i am not down when knowing it first hand, even with the reason given. i think i started it because i know that i have changed my heart and mind and wanted to work things differently - i think i am trying to change the way a react to my surroundings. i hope it works fine and i hope one day i can start something without even thinking twice.
Monday, June 05, 2006
its night and none of my friends are online!! except for cin who's now away. where are my friends? where are my cousins? just last week i slept late as 2 cousins of mine drilled me with questions about my life. i was quite surprise with myself being so very open to both of them. i think i learned a lot about being more open nowadays. i talk a lot but mostly about situation at works or anything else but not about my private life. i started to be more open when i started this blog, though at times i re-read whatever i wrote before publishing it. i guess i learned from my surroundings as well that being open and letting people see your vulnerability is not a crime. in fact it could make people know you more as a person and i think i am ready to take that step.
what am i blabbering about, eh?
well - i too just realised that sometimes you can't take a person words very seriously. just few months ago i was taken aback by some fact i read about someone i thought was nice. i have no hard feelings but i realised that i started distancing myself from sharing my life in general with this person and i also realised that i have changed a little in terms of interacting with this person. i think i became a little bit more quiet and more selective in sharing my life eversince. i just don't want to be hurt with words again.
seriously, what am i blabbering about, eh??
what am i blabbering about, eh?
well - i too just realised that sometimes you can't take a person words very seriously. just few months ago i was taken aback by some fact i read about someone i thought was nice. i have no hard feelings but i realised that i started distancing myself from sharing my life in general with this person and i also realised that i have changed a little in terms of interacting with this person. i think i became a little bit more quiet and more selective in sharing my life eversince. i just don't want to be hurt with words again.
seriously, what am i blabbering about, eh??
tell me ....
- if you were asked to join a bunch of people that you are not comfortable with, a bunch of people that jokes and talks makes you feel like a misfits, would you continue joining them?
- if you were suddenly asked to join a group of people that you knew were close and have been having activities or gathering you were not invited to (probably never even considered to be invited), would you simply join them now knowing that you would somehow still feel out of place?
- if after years of self-loathing you met a bunch of people that makes you feel alive and kicking, wouldn't you just want to treasure every single moment of it while you can?
- if you were informed of something that you knew would come anyway and you knew there was no way of that to be changed, would you continue hoping for it to change?
- if you wake up everyday thinking of the same thing you are thinking of when you go to sleep, does it mean that it is worth thinking of?
- if you were sure of something but then you were unsure of it once you were face with it, does it mean that you're still uncertain about it?
- if you knew that it is not worth the trouble but you don't want to give up, would you force yourself to give it up or continue hoping?
- if you knew deep down that nothing can come out of it, even your heart and mind agrees with it but you still force yourself thinking about it for the sake of making life more exciting, knowing that it's not worth the trouble; would you continue doing it?
- what if suddenly what you were wishing of comes true, knowing that you definitely are not prepared for it or that you might have a change of heart and change of mind?
- what if you could just put all the craziness in your life and your mind behind you?
Sunday, June 04, 2006
just came back from dinner held by ally. cin, diane, and elise were there as well. nice food - definitely the best turkish place i've tried here so far and worth coming back, very much indeed. from the chat i had earlier with ally, he was suggesting on heading to esplanade for the open space concert, but diane wanted to check this place so we went there instead. spent quite some time here, where we were kinda devided into 2 groups - me, cin, ally and diane, elise. ally did ask lots of questions to cin; and cin, who's been working and living in several countries does have lots of experience to share. i really salute her way of thinking, she definitely knows what she wants. i too have to share what i spilled to ally earlier in more detail. we kinda have a great talk that out of a sudden ally said that it was quite interesting that we, strangers who met accidentally could become as close friends as we are now.
took a bus ride home with ally. as usual, once he's off the bus i spent the rest of the journey home thinking of the conversation we have. he always have something for me to ponder about and i really value all the opinion or comments he gave. well like he said, we have to continue praying and making sure that we include what we wish for in our doa, insha allah it will be granted
took a bus ride home with ally. as usual, once he's off the bus i spent the rest of the journey home thinking of the conversation we have. he always have something for me to ponder about and i really value all the opinion or comments he gave. well like he said, we have to continue praying and making sure that we include what we wish for in our doa, insha allah it will be granted
how eh?
i changed my display name in msn and apparently it caught the attention of one of the girl in my list. well, she knew me through friendster and i guess the fact that i wrote about this blog of mine in friendster that led her in my msn list now. nice person that she is, working in a fashion design world she kept on giving me advices on how to dress up according to my figure. and she kinda adviced me to do some makeover photographs as well.
time passed and she never messaged me again until today and she still remember about all the advice she gave!
as usual she would look at my pics in friendster and gave few points here and there. it is good actually having this kind of friend but i guess i am a bit conservative to follow her advice. anyways she insisted me on contacting the photographer for the photograph session. i thought - hey, nothing to loose so i texted him and said that i'd be in contact when i'm ready for some photograph session. she then gave me the web page of this photographer, saying that he's a good photographer which charged quite high. truth is i was amazed seeing his photo gallery, apparently he also had pictures of some mtv vj's and local celebrities. i guess i should consider myself lucky being able to get a picture taken by this great photographer free of charge. but now i'm having a cold feet and do you think i will do this session in the near future? i doubt so!
on a heavier note, shoot!! i kinda spilled the beans about the family interference i had before to ally and now he's waiting for the details. iiiiiiiii - i don't even want to think about it but now i have to talk about it again!!!
i changed my display name in msn and apparently it caught the attention of one of the girl in my list. well, she knew me through friendster and i guess the fact that i wrote about this blog of mine in friendster that led her in my msn list now. nice person that she is, working in a fashion design world she kept on giving me advices on how to dress up according to my figure. and she kinda adviced me to do some makeover photographs as well.
time passed and she never messaged me again until today and she still remember about all the advice she gave!
as usual she would look at my pics in friendster and gave few points here and there. it is good actually having this kind of friend but i guess i am a bit conservative to follow her advice. anyways she insisted me on contacting the photographer for the photograph session. i thought - hey, nothing to loose so i texted him and said that i'd be in contact when i'm ready for some photograph session. she then gave me the web page of this photographer, saying that he's a good photographer which charged quite high. truth is i was amazed seeing his photo gallery, apparently he also had pictures of some mtv vj's and local celebrities. i guess i should consider myself lucky being able to get a picture taken by this great photographer free of charge. but now i'm having a cold feet and do you think i will do this session in the near future? i doubt so!
on a heavier note, shoot!! i kinda spilled the beans about the family interference i had before to ally and now he's waiting for the details. iiiiiiiii - i don't even want to think about it but now i have to talk about it again!!!
what's yours ...
so i've been taggedn, so here it goes :-
6 weird things/habits/facts about yourself ...
tagged by yolli ...
so i've been taggedn, so here it goes :-
6 weird things/habits/facts about yourself ...
tagged by yolli ...
- armpit hair - true enough i tend to look that way if i was given the view and i think you can know a person hygiene from their armpit hair. that's why my fave instructor is my fave!!
- i've been known to be a quiet and reserve person by those who didn't know me well. be careful, once i start to feel at ease with people i can talk non stop 24/7! *just a figure of speech eh*
- i tend not to say a word after saying my prayer before bed. i normally say my prayer followed by blowing my chest 3 times. if someone talk to me or i do something after that, i will continue the ritual again and again and again
- though people been saying that i have been very active lately, fact is i am not. i still do few activities by my own as i used to do. i still feel alone and bored at times, but i think i kinda accept the fact that i am alone and just make the best out of it
- i love the smell of glue though i am not and never was a glue sniffer. i love the smell of cigarette too but not the smoke ya
- i already know what song to be played on my wedding day (when ya? when??) when the bride and groom walk down the aisle - i want to be selfish by not sharing it here ;)
not many people that knows this blog of mine, i tend to keep it a secret from my friend. so based on those that visited my blog and haven't been tagged by yolli, biki and juwi, rusdir, anung (though i'm not sure he every come to this place eh) please do the same in your blog ...
it's saturday!!
9 am saturday morning and here i am at the office, what better to do the blog while waiting for the job to complete, eh?
val invited me for dinner last night. knowing that she'd invited cin and of course ally, i suggested to use it as an opportunity to introduce med to ally. since we need some guy for our rockclimbing and the two looks like they could click, why not eh. so there we were having a great dinner at this place with other friends of val, some we knew some we didn't. had a great conversation during dinner, from social to religion - i even learnt something about my own religion. funny that kar was there when he's supposed to be at this friday thingy he organised - haha.. ditching his own event for this. its also cute listening to med, a kyrgizstan (spelling??) origin talking russian, he so felt at home with the food there.
after dinner we decided to parted ways, stick with our own group - so me, cin, ally, and med decided to follow med's suggestion to a place they've been talking about during the networking session me and cin attended. med who was one of the organiser of the networking session seemed to like this place a lot, so we decided to go there and check it out ourselved. diane decided to join us, so 5 of us went to pick jen, who's waiting at the train station on our way to the place called the actors. so funny that when jen saw med she looks excited but then disappointed when she found out that med is what 7 years younger? .lol!
the place was a little bit underground - not dodgy but something different for all of us, except med of course. it was fun actually, i think it's safe to call it a gig place where everyone can just go down and sing or play one of the instrument accompanying whoever singing. med sang and so did jen, she sang twice! fun nite. spent most of the time sitting in front of the stage with instrument in our hand shaking it along with whoever was singing. feel like a street musician, but it's fun!
went home with ally, as usual great conversation though this time around he did make a lot of comments on me, which i have to admit is true. i guess i have to be a little bit more open in terms of sharing my life with him. i guess i have to learn to pick up the phone when i'm stress and ask them out for a coffee or something. though i was quite happy when he said i would make a good mother, i was still not sure about some of his assumptions though, hmmm....
well, tonight he's asking us out for a dinner and i know myself and cin will go. not sure who else is going to be there, we shall see ...
there's something wrong with the job here but i'm not sure what, time to play detective :(
9 am saturday morning and here i am at the office, what better to do the blog while waiting for the job to complete, eh?
val invited me for dinner last night. knowing that she'd invited cin and of course ally, i suggested to use it as an opportunity to introduce med to ally. since we need some guy for our rockclimbing and the two looks like they could click, why not eh. so there we were having a great dinner at this place with other friends of val, some we knew some we didn't. had a great conversation during dinner, from social to religion - i even learnt something about my own religion. funny that kar was there when he's supposed to be at this friday thingy he organised - haha.. ditching his own event for this. its also cute listening to med, a kyrgizstan (spelling??) origin talking russian, he so felt at home with the food there.
after dinner we decided to parted ways, stick with our own group - so me, cin, ally, and med decided to follow med's suggestion to a place they've been talking about during the networking session me and cin attended. med who was one of the organiser of the networking session seemed to like this place a lot, so we decided to go there and check it out ourselved. diane decided to join us, so 5 of us went to pick jen, who's waiting at the train station on our way to the place called the actors. so funny that when jen saw med she looks excited but then disappointed when she found out that med is what 7 years younger? .lol!
the place was a little bit underground - not dodgy but something different for all of us, except med of course. it was fun actually, i think it's safe to call it a gig place where everyone can just go down and sing or play one of the instrument accompanying whoever singing. med sang and so did jen, she sang twice! fun nite. spent most of the time sitting in front of the stage with instrument in our hand shaking it along with whoever was singing. feel like a street musician, but it's fun!
went home with ally, as usual great conversation though this time around he did make a lot of comments on me, which i have to admit is true. i guess i have to be a little bit more open in terms of sharing my life with him. i guess i have to learn to pick up the phone when i'm stress and ask them out for a coffee or something. though i was quite happy when he said i would make a good mother, i was still not sure about some of his assumptions though, hmmm....
well, tonight he's asking us out for a dinner and i know myself and cin will go. not sure who else is going to be there, we shall see ...
there's something wrong with the job here but i'm not sure what, time to play detective :(
Saturday, June 03, 2006
forgive us ...
musisi jalanan mulai beraksi ...
...
suasana jogja ...
that's an indonesian song describing how beautiful jogjakarta is. though i have only been there once i can still remember those students riding bicycle and how cozy that city is. and now it was torn down, earthquake hit jogja a week ago. disasters keep on coming to my beloved country. i know GOD is angry with all the stupidity humans do, including myself.
here i am thinking of what my dinner will be when thousands of people there will be very grateful with whatever put on their plate. here i am feeling itchy to do some shopping during the great sale when thousands there simply wished for a roof to shelter them.
am i selfish? i have to admit i am. i know my friend went to jogjakarta to help the victim. what have i do? ...
GOD, i know i've been getting more and more distance from You. no longer am i rushing down to answer your call. i know i can't blame anyone but myself for all my doings. i know You still love me, hence the reason why i am still here.
please forgive me ...
please forgive us ...
musisi jalanan mulai beraksi ...
...
suasana jogja ...
that's an indonesian song describing how beautiful jogjakarta is. though i have only been there once i can still remember those students riding bicycle and how cozy that city is. and now it was torn down, earthquake hit jogja a week ago. disasters keep on coming to my beloved country. i know GOD is angry with all the stupidity humans do, including myself.
here i am thinking of what my dinner will be when thousands of people there will be very grateful with whatever put on their plate. here i am feeling itchy to do some shopping during the great sale when thousands there simply wished for a roof to shelter them.
am i selfish? i have to admit i am. i know my friend went to jogjakarta to help the victim. what have i do? ...
GOD, i know i've been getting more and more distance from You. no longer am i rushing down to answer your call. i know i can't blame anyone but myself for all my doings. i know You still love me, hence the reason why i am still here.
please forgive me ...
please forgive us ...
keep on blurting ....
called mum yesterday telling her about my intention of going home and also about the rafting session i'm going to. her response was 'until when do you want to lead this way of life'. i couldn't said anything. i felt like i have let them down here but i couldn't help it if my life is like this. well truth is i was hoping it could change in the beginning of this year, but now i'm back to square one.
on a lighter note, went to pump launch last night and it was fun. with beach being the theme, 2 biki babes and 3 hunks, errr... make it 1, conducted the new launch. it was fun and when some intructors did the training, the rest would dance around. soo funny, but seeing my fave instructor dancing? ewww
met few of my friends that i haven't see for ages there. i dunno, seems that everyone is busy with their own activity. i told them about how i spend most of my time at the office now, with the late conf. calls and discussion. also update them with few new outdoor activities that i've been doing. well, i was supposed to do the wakeboarding with one of them but then she was busy that i had to postpone it until i found a new group of wakeboarder that welcomes new comers.
life is pretty hectic for me until october comes, but i hope i can balance it with exercising regularly again.
called mum yesterday telling her about my intention of going home and also about the rafting session i'm going to. her response was 'until when do you want to lead this way of life'. i couldn't said anything. i felt like i have let them down here but i couldn't help it if my life is like this. well truth is i was hoping it could change in the beginning of this year, but now i'm back to square one.
on a lighter note, went to pump launch last night and it was fun. with beach being the theme, 2 biki babes and 3 hunks, errr... make it 1, conducted the new launch. it was fun and when some intructors did the training, the rest would dance around. soo funny, but seeing my fave instructor dancing? ewww
met few of my friends that i haven't see for ages there. i dunno, seems that everyone is busy with their own activity. i told them about how i spend most of my time at the office now, with the late conf. calls and discussion. also update them with few new outdoor activities that i've been doing. well, i was supposed to do the wakeboarding with one of them but then she was busy that i had to postpone it until i found a new group of wakeboarder that welcomes new comers.
life is pretty hectic for me until october comes, but i hope i can balance it with exercising regularly again.
Friday, June 02, 2006
so i've secured a place for the rafting and caving event. decided to opt out the option of extending our stay there, hence no hotel luxury for us. rafting, caving, then straight away back to singapore. can't wait can't wait!!
on another note, MSN has been blocked in our office. soo sad! i can still connect actually but no emoticons no nothing ...
feeling a bit light today after spending a restless night thinking of work that i went online and met seb there. thanks for assuring that everything will be fine. though my mind is still burden with all these stuffs - partly my fault of not planning it well - i managed to relax and do it one at a time. managed to get my boss into discussion where i told her what i wanted and it's good she agreed with my way.
hmmm, i really need a few minutes of break now ...
on another note, MSN has been blocked in our office. soo sad! i can still connect actually but no emoticons no nothing ...
feeling a bit light today after spending a restless night thinking of work that i went online and met seb there. thanks for assuring that everything will be fine. though my mind is still burden with all these stuffs - partly my fault of not planning it well - i managed to relax and do it one at a time. managed to get my boss into discussion where i told her what i wanted and it's good she agreed with my way.
hmmm, i really need a few minutes of break now ...
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