Friday, April 29, 2011

Blessings ...

on my way to work, the phone rang. dad's number. what's up i wonder. picked it up and heard mom's voice

'whatever you want to do, if you think it's good for your future, you have our blessings. your dad has given his permission so if you think it's good, do it'

i asked about my sister's plan and what i got is a 'don't think about your sister. she is married and all. you just think of yourself, of your future and whatever you think best for you, you got our blessings'

tears just started to flow. how can i not be touched. at the same time it made me feel bad for not being able to make them happy.

life is good when you have great parents - what more can i ask for...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Inconclusive

so how was it, a friend asked. it was okay, i guess. it started okay then along the way i started to think about adding something and couldn't wait for it to end and all that. it felt good, kinda like a good ending.
until few days later when the old thing started to creep up again.
so what did you think about it, the next question. i don't know. pretty confuse actually. definitely none of those mentioned but still wondering. i guess that's what happened when you're being in this situation for so long. all you need is just a little bit to wonder if it will be a repeating stuff. actually, the big part is good.
she smiled. i smiled. for all you know the result is good, she said again. no, it wouldn't be because of the different objective.
everyone needs experience in life. guess this is mine...

Monday, April 18, 2011

C'est La Vie

it's hard to put on a strong face when you're breaking inside

life moves on though ...

Friday, April 15, 2011

Deja vu

it started from an invitation. more like checking the 'rain check', i guess. i was reluctant but then i decided to give it a go. maybe i'm still curious or maybe because i don't know how to say otherwise. anyway, let's just take it as a test.

i know how the outcome would be even before sitting for the test. and i kinda make a promise to myself, that one day ... one fine day, i'll be the one parading it. and when that day come, i hope there's an 'if only ...' coming out from another party. bad i know, but i just want that!

during the time i was bored. why did i do what i did before. but at the same time, i can feel some happinness. i passed the test! and a new criteria came up - a 'wouldn't it be great if'. the whole thing kinda remind me of sara bareilles. seriously counting down 'cos there's no street to look out to start counting the cars.

day goes by. and it's creeping again. i guess it'll continue this way. until i fulfill that promise i made to myself. meanwhile ... let's just enjoy this deja vu.