Missing

something is missing, there's a hole in me .. but i don't know what. well actually i know but i refuse to acknowledge it, for my own good.
work is hectic but it keeps me motivated thanks to all the interesting stuff i am learning along the way. maybe i should start having more activities over the weekend so as not to feel this way.

Hang On or Move On?

had a very awkward conversation with mum earlier, getting something out of my chest as advised by the 'wise man'. mum's question made me speechless for a few seconds. i don't know how to answer it. but of course, mothers will never disappoint their kids. anyways, it feels like something heavy has been lifted from me.
honestly? i hope the 'wise man' is right and i hope this is the end of the current episodes and i am oh so looking ahead to some new episodes - a better one that is.
but then again, a short text messages from a friend made me revealed something to her - 'and what made me look depressed few weeks ago. it feels like my only hope had evaporated'
part of me just wants to give up but the other part says 'hang in there'.
God, i leave it to YOU to decide 'cos everything is out of my control now ...

the aftermath ...

i'm beginning to realise how foolish i am on my behaviour for the past few weeks. friends have been reminding me lately and m's message made me realised its time to let go. held you head high and move on. easier said than done, but it has to be that way. it MUST be.

i have to admit that i still linger on the idea, on the thought .. on the hope. but come on, who am i kidding .. it is so obvious, blocked i might be.

sometimes i wonder if the initiative i took on april 28th is the worst decision i've ever made :?

oh well, life goes on .. with or without.

have you lost your way?

livin' in the shadow of the
messes that you made and so it goes

everything inside your circle starts to overflow

take a step before you leap

into the colours that you seek

you'll get back what you give away

so don't look back on yesterday

wanna scream out .. no more hiding

don't be afraid of what's inside

gonna tell ya you'll be alright

in the aftermath

anytime anybody pulls you down

anytime anybody says you're not allowed

just remember you are not alone

in the aftermath